Feeling a little crazy, need advice

[vell92]

Hi,

So I have this coworker/friend and all last year it was kind of flirty, really good vibes/chemistry, but I felt like I was always the one initiating our interactions. Even after discussing this with him last year, he said he's not great at communicating, even with his childhood friends. So, at the beginning of this year, I decided to stop reaching out as much, no reach outs on his end, and we've only seen each other a few times since then. I thought about him a lot less, which was freeing. However, at a recent party, I heard from some people that he's upset with me, so I went up and talked to him and he is indeed mad at me for being cold and disrespectful (mind you we've seen each other in professional settings and I just don't make eye contact), but we didn't resolve much.

I feel like my decision to pull back is still correct, as it's disheartening to put effort into a one-sided relationship. Now I'm kind of upset because I don't understand how he can be mad at me for not talking to him when he doesn't make an effort. Has anyone else experienced something like this?

 

[playklax01]

I haven't experienced it myself, but yeah, this is all on him. You don't owe him anything and aren't really being mean or disrespectful towards him. You used to talk more, now you don't, he needs to deal or initiate the convo himself.

Is there a chance he could be on the spectrum a bit? I've worked with people with that, and since they don't pick up on social cues properly, they tend to respond to or handle things incorrectly.

 

[bravesoldier]

Sorry to say, but he sounds like a train wreck. He may not be, but to me people like that who seemingly can't get a grasp on basic communication skills are going to have a strange, lonely path in life. To me what you described, especially concerning childhood friends is a major signal. Hard to conceive anyone being that disconnected.