What factors would make you not want to have sex with someone who you already had sex with before?
No physical change, no personality change, nothing, but when you see them again, you don’t want to have sex with them again?
This has happened to me a few times at gay saunas, when a guy would have sex with me once and when we meet again, he seems uninterested to have sex again. This is not the majority of the cases but I’m curious to hear any thoughts.
I can relate to this from the "other side" in my ho-ing days about 10-15 years ago - having sex with a guy and then moving to the next one, actively choosing not to "repeat". And here is why.
For me personally, it was a variation of a gangbang fantasy I guess. Large gangbang scenes in porn have always been one of my favourite categories, where a huge group of guys take turns on one bottom - the bigger the group, the better, as the tops do not repeat fucking the bottom.
Part of trying one new cock after another was validation of course, and some of it was trying to fulfill my "gangbang fantasy" involving a huge group of guys who were fucking me one after another - again, the bigger the group the better. Gangbangs are not easy to arrange, so the solution in my head was to get fucked by as many guys as possible separately, spread out over an evening, a weekend or a longer period of time. Part of the satisfaction was the sex of course, but for me at the time, a bigger thrill was trying multiple new cocks for a bigger "gangbang". At times, I did not care if the guy fucked me for 10 seconds or 1 hour - at least I had a new guy to add to my "gangbang" body count. I found enjoyment in focusing on the new shape, size, technique, hardness and enjoyed the difference in the cocks I was feeling inside me. At times in dark rooms, I could even tell if a guy had fucked me before from his cock, and would move on to the next. And it wasn't because I was looking for something better, but it was because I wanted a new one to my "gangbang number". I would even sometimes leave the sauna when I had run out of new guys and find new ones (or groups) on Grindr/online. I once made it to around 18 guys in a day, and a few more over the full weekend. I visited saunas once every few weeks for 3-4 years, although it became less frequent towards the end.
But I understand now that of course that was me selfishly trying to fullfil my fantasies and seek validation whilst doing the opposite to others at times. At the time, as long as I was fulfilling my fantasy and keeping my hole occupied, it didn't matter how the guys I was using felt.
As years went on and Grindr became more popular, I understood the validation aspect, and being on the "other side" more, especially as I wasn't as much of a toned young hot guy with a bubble butt any longer. Finding new guys became more difficult because either I was rejected, which hadn't happen very often when I was younger and hotter, or I had already met the guys who still wanted to fuck me. My favourite saunas had also started closing, and the remaining ones were not as fun to fulfil my fantasies in for various reasons
I embraced Grindr, but it was difficult to meet more than 2-3 guys in an evening, especially if I wanted to meet new ones. I eventually started meeting the same guys regularly, and started enjoying the sex itself more rather than chasing the thrill of a new cock entering me. Who knew sex often got better and better the more you got to know someone's body and try new things with them!
Still, I would sometimes join groups I had met on Grindr. Most Grindr groups had the same routine: I would arrive and have sex for 20-30mins with the group of usually 3-5 guys, but then everyone (including myself) would then spend the next few hours looking for new guys to join. When another guy joined, there would be more action for another 20-30mins and everyone would go back to their phones looking to add to the group. If nobody new joined for hours, very little happened. This happened in almost every group I met on Grindr, and got old very quickly. I joined some of the same groups multiple times, but the thrill had gone and I found this routine boring. By this point, I wanted to spend time in the group session to actually have sex with the guys who were already there. But most guys in these groups spent most of their time on Grindr to add new ones to the group. The funny/ironic thing is, a couple of times they didn't want me to leave as that would "reduce the group size". I had become a number, just like how others were numbers to me. Other hosts who organised sessions regularly I didn't go back to myself, and some I would have gkne back to I was not invited back/blocked on Grindr.
But by this point, I had stopped seeking more validation from anyone and everyone. I guess I'd had my fair share of cock and was ready to commit and settle down
I've been in a committed relationship for many years with someone who doesn't want threesomes or groups - but that's ok because he gives me all the validation I need. Apart from the one time last year I slipped up and 6 cocks fell into my hole in one day, I've been a good boy, I promise!
