What causes you to not want to have sex with someone you already had sex with?

[Luke Yestizter]

What factors would make you not want to have sex with someone who you already had sex with before?

No physical change, no personality change, nothing, but when you see them again, you don’t want to have sex with them again?

This has happened to me a few times at gay saunas, when a guy would have sex with me once and when we meet again, he seems uninterested to have sex again. This is not the majority of the cases but I’m curious to hear any thoughts.

 

[jutadawg]

Back in my ho-ing around twenties, I often would be uninterested in hooking up with women (and a couple guys) after we fooled around. I was constantly horny and always craved novelty, new bodies. Can’t really explain why. I’d be soooo into a girl and then the next day I would be totally disinterested.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Sexual novelty is a thing amongst straight men too, but the biological consequences of sex often impell us to maintain sexual desire for and invest into a specific mate even while seeking additional opportunities. My guess is as gay men whose sex carries none of the same biological consequences you aren't as biologically driven to invest additional time energy and possible resources in a specific mate and are more prone to seek out others.
Also I know specifically with hetero novelty, subtle pheromonal perceptions triggered during sexual opportunity can imply a biological incompatibility that could drive a subconscious disinterest to invest further.

 

[stretch8888]

Much like JUTADAWG i can't really explain why, in my 20s i wanted to fuck every woman i met, i was constantly horny and loved having a new body to enjoy, i can think of several where i worked at getting them into bed, spent a night fucking their brains out then within days i had no interest, it wasn't like the sex was bad but i just lost interest.

best i could come up with would be just fucking horny and needed to cum or maybe we just didn't click enough to maintain interest.

One that came to mind immediately was this chick i'd met through an ex, she was attractive, tall and thick, thick thighs, big ass huge tits very pretty face, bisexual leaning more towards women and a huge stoner. i'd wanted to fuck her for a while and had several friends try and fail, i hadn't seen her in a year or so then we reconnected, decided to hang out and watch a movie one night. She was smoking weed we were drinking and vibing real good, she was actually the one the brought up fucking, asked if that's why i wanted to hang out, she had me busted so i admitted it, she said she was more into women and hadn't been with a man in over a year but she'd heard some things and had wanted to fuck me for a while.

We hooked up, her blowjobs were unreal and we fucked all night, woke me up with a blowjob and spent the next day fucking as well. After she left though i just had no real interest she hit me up a few times but i wasn't interested, couldn't explain it if i wanted to.

 

[playklax01]

Back in my ho-ing around twenties, I often would be uninterested in hooking up with women (and a couple guys) after we fooled around. I was constantly horny and always craved novelty, new bodies. Can’t really explain why. I’d be soooo into a girl and then the next day I would be totally disinterested.

My ex-husband didn't really have his ho-ing around days back in his 20s, and I was always a one-person kind of guy. As time went on, his desire to have and experience different guys grew and grew. Never saw the same person once or twice. He was cheating constantly. We divorced a few years back after 20+ years together, and now in his mid 50s he's the biggest whore. He's lucky he still looks young and gets to get what he was missing I suppose. We're still friendly and talk. While the cheating wasn't cool, I felt bad that there was something he was needing that he wasn't getting. I'm not the jealous type that would demand he stop it, I don't think that's fair. I'm more about actions and consequences.

 

[CreamEggOmlette]

Straight up vibes. Due to a lot of things in my life, I'm sensitive to a mood shifts and non-verbal cues with someone (hypervigilance and trauma for the WIN!)

There have been a lot of guys I've fucked around with and it just stopped. Generally, with me anyway, it just comes down to how I feel around the person.

 

[bravesoldier]

When they are simply not very dynamic in bed. Some guys want to be told every move to make and won't initiate anything on their own. A guy who will hardly suck me, unless I ask. Guys who are unbelievably QUIET during sex, even when cumming, or a guy who reaches the point that he no longer wants to do anything for me in return. All big downers.

Other than that, when a guy's breath smells like fresh, raw sewage. In other words, when he knows nothing about oral hygiene or choses to take it very lightly. Nothing worse than a rotten odor on a guy's breath, especially when he wants to kiss.

 

[theplayerking]

I’m fully aware of the fact that I hook up for the validation of being accepted and desired by another guy rather than the physical sensation of the sex. Unless a guy is crazy hot, I tend to lose interest in repeats because I’ve already received the validation that I was looking for. If a guy wants a repeat I usually suggest a threeway or group to get some fresh meat. I’m sure most people think I’m shallow, but I know what turns me on.

 

[playklax01]

I’m fully aware of the fact that I hook up for the validation of being accepted and desired by another guy rather than the physical sensation of the sex. Unless a guy is crazy hot, I tend to lose interest in repeats because I’ve already received the validation that I was looking for. If a guy wants a repeat I usually suggest a threeway or group to get some fresh meat. I’m sure most people think I’m shallow, but I know what turns me on.

Validation! Yes, I think that's exactly what my ex was/is after. Thank you! And I'd bet that's true for a lot of folks in this, idk, dilemma? Sure there's the hypersexual/notch on the bedpost type, but for a good bulk of the rest I think that word probably nails it.

 

[theplayerking]

Validation! Yes, I think that's exactly what my ex was/is after. Thank you! And I'd bet that's true for a lot of folks in this, idk, dilemma? Sure there's the hypersexual/notch on the bedpost type, but for a good bulk of the rest I think that word probably nails it.

Some of us of a certain age (I just turned 50), grew up feeling despised and rejected by other guys, i.e., being called names, picked last for the team in PhysEd class, etc. Casual hookups (especially extremely anonymous situations like mall bathrooms, parks and saunas) feel liberating because of the acceptance, male bonding and camaraderie.

 

[boc]

Finding out they have a self-perceived highly-ranked kink that I certainly will not enjoy.

 

[lapdog2001]

What factors would make you not want to have sex with someone who you already had sex with before?

No physical change, no personality change, nothing, but when you see them again, you don’t want to have sex with them again?

This hasn't really happened to me before, as I've always wanted to have sex again with every woman I've been with. I did have a long term FWB relationship where we both knew we were moving on. She had finally met someone that she was falling in love with, yet still wanted sex with me. To be honest, I wanted to fuck her too, as our sex with each other was hot and extremely satisfying for the both of us.

Despite my endless lust for her, I knew in my heart that she had a nice guy and should really only be with him. We parted as friends, but did tell each other that if we met up again in the future, and we were both single, that we would absolutely get naked and fuck the day and night away.

 

[chrisrobin]

What factors would make you not want to have sex with someone who you already had sex with before?

No physical change, no personality change, nothing, but when you see them again, you don’t want to have sex with them again?

This has happened to me a few times at gay saunas, when a guy would have sex with me once and when we meet again, he seems uninterested to have sex again. This is not the majority of the cases but I’m curious to hear any thoughts.

Saunas are notorious for once only fucks

 

[Genuinkguy]

I ended the relationship I had with my ex, we decide to be friends with benefits instead because in sex we are more connected than in a relationship. After doing a few times he then said it cant continue because when we make sex it mess with his feelings about me. I miss our sex, but he is very hard to deal with in a relationship. He is the person i would have sex again, but if he dont want then i move on.

 

[JD_002]

Finding out they have a self-perceived highly-ranked kink that I certainly will not enjoy.

One of the hottest guys I've been with liked poop and pee and unshowered men and I just couldn't do that, so it was over.

 

[JD_002]

Also I really dislike when I feel I'm always putting on work, messaging first and so. I I feel like I'm begging someone for something I'm not gonna insist again, no matter how hot you are.