I'd had a productive day of laundry, gym and changing my bedsheets. I'd checked in with Matt that this place we were going to was pretty chilled and not too formal. Confirming that it was, I stayed in my green overshirt and t-shirt, jeans and trainers.
I was quite grateful for the fact Matt had suggested a live music bar for tonight. Much though I've loved my time with him, we've not spent much time talking. The other day was a movie. The longest conversation we've had has been about his now dead wife...
I reassured myself that there was no need to be nervous and even if there was, it would only make it harder.
I arrived before Matt. I got us a table with a nice view of a small stage, which had a pianist, a percussionist, a singer and a bass player playing some pretty smooth jazz. It was spontaneous playing rather than individual songs. They were impressive.
Matt arrived a few minutes after me.
"Hey!"
"Hey Matt. Nice choice. This bar is amazing".
"Yeah! I'm impressed. I'll go to the bar. What do you fancy to drink, Tom?"
"Ooh. I'll have whatever you're having - surprise me".
Matt was gone a few minutes. It was a busy night and the bar was packed. There were probably around 100 people here. Lots of groups, but mainly groups of 2. Probably couples. Maybe they thought we were a couple?
Calm yourself down, Tom.
Matt came back with a bottle of red wine and two glasses.
"Fair play - that is a surprise".
"Is this okay?"
"Yes!", I replied. "I just didn't have you down as a red wine man".
"Maybe you shouldn't be so presumptuous about me", Matt smiled in reply.
He poured two glasses.
"Cheers. To friends and music and doing things again". Matt said.
"Cheers!".
The band were still playing the same "song". They could continue their entire set in this one mix of solos, harmonising and soul. It was beautiful. The bass player would get 90 seconds to showcase his talents with only gentle backing from the best, then the percussionist would do her thing, the singer their thing then the pianist his. It was exemplary playing. They'd each use their time doing gentle backing as an opportunity to sip a quick glug of wine or whisky.
"This was a really good shout, Matt. How come you chose it?" I asked.
"I heard about it before covid. Emma had been interested. Then everything happened and covid hit and I/we never got the chance to go. My mates wouldn't come to a place like this and my brother is too busy with my niece. So when the two of us got friendly, it seemed a good chance to visit".
"I'm flattered. It's a wonderful place."
"Yeah. It is. And I'm off work tomorrow, so let's go wild!"
"Haha. What's your definition of wild?" I asked.
"Hahahaha. To be honest, after the last couple of years I've no fucking idea. I mean, I love my brother and sister in law and I adore my niece... but I don't really know what my social life is right now".
"I think... it's drinking a bottle of red wine in a romantic jazz bar with a gay", I suggested.
"Haha, you might be right".
We clinked glasses again, this time in jest.
We enjoyed the jazz without much conversation for another half an hour or so before they took a break.
"Thanks again for coming around the other night. I really enjoyed it." I said.
"No, thank you mate! It was so good to get out the house and just chill out."
"What did you tell your brother?" I asked.
"I just said the truth. I was going around a mate's house to watch a film".
"You didn't say it was a gay guy?"
"No. I didn't hide it. If he'd asked who you were, I'd have told him".
"Told him what?" I smiled as I asked.
"That you're a guy that likes massaging calves and cooks a pretty decent chicken". Matt grinned as he replied.
"Hahahahaha".
"No, seriously, I'd just say who you were and how we met. I don't feel any need to hide who I see or what I do or get upto." Matt said.
"Even to your mate who made those comments about me?" I asked.
"Especially to him! He knows we've gotten friendly. He's asked me about it and it's cool. People like him aren't inherently homophobic; they're just ignorant. Up to people like me and you to change that".
Matt was such an emotionally mature man. I smiled, almost tearfully. I didn't want to go down a long road of conversation about allies, but it was great how he spoke.
"Thank you", I humbly offered, smiling at him. "Now, I believe it's my turn to go to the bar. What would you like?".
"Your turn to surprise me mate. Whatever you're having".
I returned with two espresso martinis.
"If you're having a late night, you should have some caffeine!"
Matt laughed. "Wow! I've never had one. Well, cheers".
We both sipped the joyous mix of coffee, sweetness and liqueur. It was silky smooth with a subtle kick to it.
"Fair play mate. That's tasty," Matt said.
"Glad you like it!"
The jazz act kicked back in. This set was more up tempo, with a few more vocal numbers brought in. A bit of Van Morrison, some Robert Johnson... it was a perfect accompaniment to the evening.
As we finished the espresso martini, the music was still in full swing. It was around 11pm.
"Do you want another drink, Matt? And do you want to stay here or go somewhere else?" I asked.
"What would you like to do? What would you normally do?"
"I'd normally head to my favourite gay bar, the one you saw me at a few weeks ago".
"Are straight guys welcome there?"
"Sure! Anyone's welcome there. Not many straight guys tend to go but not because they're not welcome. Way more straight women go. Hen parties and loud girl groups. Annoying but nice at the same time".
"Ha. So I'd be more likely to pull than you?" Matt asked.
"You'd always be more likely to pull than me!"
Matt laughed and shrugged off the compliment.
"Would it be weird for you if I came to a gay bar?"
"Not weird for me at all. I guess I'm just curious as to why you'd want to".
"I think I'm just intrigued to see what the atmosphere is like. I think my mates probably assume it's all orgies and rainbow flags but I'm guessing it's just a nice and friendly vibe except with a bunch of guys rather than mixed?"
"Yeah, I mean your mates are half right. There's rainbow flags everywhere! Orgies happen in other bars after dark. I won't take you there, don't worry."
"So the bar you would take me to, what's it like?"
"It's just a nice place for a dance, a drink. Not a nice espresso martini or a red wine like here... more a cheap lager or crap rum and coke... but it's friendly, welcoming and a safe space to have a good night".
"Okay... I'm game if you are?"
"Sure?"
"Definitely! It sounds fun".
We got ourselves sorted and left the jazz bar, giving a cheery wave and nod to the excellent musicians on stage. Where we going did *not* have the same level of musical showmanship.
We walked for 10 minutes or so to get from bars A to B. It had definitely got colder. There was a real chill in the air, and those girls who were wearing the shortest of skirts were definitely regretting it as the night drew in. Matt rubbed his hands to keep himself warm.
We got to the bar and the bouncer recognised me and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I introduced him to Matt, who gave him a firm handshake instead. I laughed and we went inside.
It was full but not super crowded. We couldn't get a seat but we didn't need one. I got us two beers and we stood between the bar and the main dance floor.
"Well, welcome!" I said.
"It's busy! Do you know people here?"
I scanned the room. I recognised half a dozen people. One or two friends, plus a few hookups. I gave a friendly wave to a mate who caught my eye.
"Yeah, a few" I smiled.
"Friends or fucks?"
"Hahaha. A mixture...". I replied.
"I'm not judging by the way, just curious".
"No it's fine! I won't betray confidences though. I'm sexually open in general but I keep the actual personal things private" I said.
Matt nodded and smiled.
"Are you feeling alright in here? Your masculinity feels okay?" I cheekily asked.
Matt grinned. Fucking hell, my arse twinges when he does that.
"Haha, no I'm feeling good. It's a nice vibe here. Friendlier than most bars I know".
I passed Matt my beer as I headed off to the toilet. I came back to see that one of my (platonic) friends was talking to Matt.
"Fucking hell, I leave you for 2 minutes and you're talking to the biggest queer here". I joked, and gave my friend a kiss on the cheek. I remembered that he'd been with me a few weeks earlier when Matt had neutralised that issue with his mate.
"Heyyyyy Tom. Nice to see you. I was just thanking your friend for being an ally, of course. And how do you two gorgeous men know each other?"
I was about to answer when Matt came in first.
"This kind man let me take a piss in his toilet when I was working in the area, and we just became mates from there".
"Oh he lets anybody piss in his area sweetheart, I wouldn't take it as a measure of his kindness".
We both laughed. He gave us both a kiss on the cheek and left.
"He seems nice".
"Oh he's an angel. Although he's probably off to the sauna as I say that".
"Really? What happens there?"
"What doesn't happen there? You can go there and chill out with a beer and watch some porn, you can sit in a hot tub, you can have a private room and fuck somebody, you can go into the dark area and just let whoever is there do what they like, you could get your cock sucked at a gloryhole... anything you want so long as it's filthy." I smiled.
"Oh wow. And you've been?"
"No, not really. Been in one once abroad out of curiosity for a walk around. But although I'm quite slutty, I'm more personal and intimate. I like the build up of feeling, the vibe I get from someone, the relationship. I don't like the randomness of the experience."
"That's the most thoughtful definition of a slut I've heard" Matt joked.
"Hahahaha. Probably. Anyway, we've been stationary for too long. Shall we dance?"
Perfect timing, as Erasure's "A Little Respect" blasted throughout the bar. Matt looked so relaxed as he danced his hot little arse off. His hair was quite floppy in the sweaty bar and he was having a great time.
We screamed the chorus together and the music drifted into Abba.
"The tunes are better in here!" Matt shouted.
He gave me a hug and he was smiling broadly. He went to the bar and got us another beer. We found a spot that was a bit quieter and had a break from dancing.
"Cheers! This has been a great night" I said.
"Agreed. Cheers!" Matt.
A couple of guys came over. I'd seen them on Grindr before - they're a horny couple and they'd chatted to me a few times online. After some pleasantries, they got to the point.
"So we live nearby and we're gonna head home soon. Do you want to come back and chill out with us?" They asked.
"Thanks guys, but we're okay" I replied.
"Hmmm okay. And how about you", one of them said looking at Matt.
"Thanks, but I'm good with this guy. Have a good night guys" Matt replied.
They left, a little disgruntled.
"Nicely handled. I've seen them on Grindr - they're fine, just forever horny".
"Yeah, I noticed! How are you feeling by the way? Another drink or do you wanna head home?" Matt asked.
"I'm probably done and ready to sleep soon. Shall we head?" I suggested.
We agreed, drank up and made our way to the door. We live in similar parts of the city so walked from the bar together.
"It's bloody cold now" said Matt.
He was right. The temperature had definitely dropped and we both had goosebumps on our arms. Thankfully we had our beer, wine and cocktail jackets on.
"The offer is still there if you wanna crash at mine, you know? We could have a nightcap or you can just get some sleep without being woken up early by your niece".
"Haha, she will totally do that. She jumps on my bed every morning if she's up before me. Erm...
He was clearly contemplating it.
"Yeah alright if you really don't mind?"
"Of course not!" I replied.
We got back to my flat. It was still quite chilly. I encouraged Matt to make himself comfortable.
"Whisky?" I asked.
"Yeah alright! Thanks."
I brought us both a nice whisky. We clinked glasses one last time tonight.
"Thanks Tom for a really good night. I've felt more relaxed than I have in ages". Matt sat down and put us feet up.
I joined him on the sofa. "Me too, I had a blast. That jazz bar was amazing".
"The gay bar was amazing!" Matt exclaimed.
"Ha. The gay bar was a gay bar. They're like that every night".
"Do you get propositioned by horny couples every night?"
I smiled.
"Probably quite regularly! Gays are horny. But some people go out looking to hookup. They spend all night browsing Grindr or scanning for a piece of arse. I just look for a good time with friends and hookups I sort out elsewhere".
"When did you last hookup? Sorry if that's too personal".
"No it's fine. Ask me anything. As in, at a bar? Years ago. Before covid."
"And online?"
I suddenly remembered when it was, and smiled.
"Ha. Erm..." I continued. "It was about 10 minutes after you left my flat the other night..."
Matt laughed, half-choking on his whisky.
"Really? Tell me everything".
(Dear reader, I didn't tell him *every* detail. You can enjoy that for yourselves earlier in this thread...)
"Ha. Well, I was just feeling pretty horny. And a guy who was nearby had a flat and he offered me a blowjob. He didn't want to be seen. So the lights were off, I could just walk in, get a nice BJ, and shoot. And to be fair, he was really great."
"Well fair play mate. It's not me, but I can see why that's a pretty sweet deal".
I was tempted to ask what *is* him, but I didn't dare.
"Did you do anything to him?"
"No, it was solely one way. He didn't want anything else. It's a common turn on, to give pleasure. I have it a lot".
"You do?"
"Yeah! I don't mean this just sexually. I rubbed your calves last night because I sensed it was nice for you to receive and nice for you to give".
A slightly awkward moment followed, as we were maybe both a bit reluctant to ask any more sexual questions. I knew it was something Matt was comfortable discussing about me, but probably not about his own. Because - I suspect - he didn't know the answers.
"Don't worry, when all the lights are off tonight I won't get on my knees and blow you".
Matt laughed.
"A warm bed will do me. Do you want me to go to bed now so you can nip out and get a BJ from that guy?"
We both smiled.
"I am probably ready for bed to be honest, Matt. Do you need anything? I've got a spare toothbrush that's new. I'll get you a towel and a glass of water. Anything else?"
"No, all good. Are you absolutely sure you don't mind?"
"Not at all! It's been nice to have the company. You can get ready first if you like".
He went to the bathroom, a small ensuite next to the bedroom. I nipped into my bedroom to make sure that everything was clean and tidy. I was grateful that I'd changed the sheets earlier so everything was fresh.
Matt came back in, still clothed. Even though he was relaxed and comfortable around me, I could see slight nerves as he wondered what to do and where to go.
"Erm, okay. Which side do you normally sleep on?" Matt asked.
My bed went up against the right side wall.
"I usually sleep away from the wall, but you go wherever you like. I'll not be long".
I went into the bathroom while presumably Matt undressed and got into bed. I had a piss, brushed my teeth and splashed some water on my face. I thankfully didn't smell too sweaty after a long night, and I didn't feel excessively drunk. I don't think Matt did either.
I came back in, and Matt was already in bed on the side against the wall. He had the covers pulled up to his chin, with his hands above the duvet. He looked beautiful. Much though I'd been in the room to see him undress, it was just as nice seeing him in my bed. He had a peaceful smile that hinted at the night he'd just enjoyed. His hair was very floppy now.
"Hey Tom" he said quietly.
"Hey" I smiled. "I usually sleep in my underwear. Is that okay with you?"
"Yeah that's fine, I'm the same. It is a bit cold though!"
"Haha sorry, I'll hurry up. You'll warm up".
I slipped off my shirt, t-shirt, socks and jeans. Thankfully, I was quite chilled and so wasn't boasting a boner as I got into bed. Matt looked slightly away out of politeness.
"Have you ever slept with a man before?" I asked.
He paused, as if genuinely questioning if he had.
"Not like this. Me and my brother did occasionally as kids but that's different obviously. A few shared tents at festivals and stuff, but that's it."
"Cool. Are you feeling okay now? It's one thing being comfortable having a coffee with me, it's another being half naked next to me. I totally understand if you feel a bit off".
"Thanks Tom, but I genuinely feel fine. I'll be asleep in no time. You've been so cool with me and I feel good. Looking forward to warming up and getting some sleep. One thing I'm a little wary about I guess... I don't know what I'm like at night. I might be still, I might fidget, I might snore, I might try and spoon, I have no idea...!"
I laughed. "Don't worry, if you end up spooning me I'll push you away if it's warm. Do the same to me. I dunno what I'll be like. With platonic gay friends I sometimes like spooning them but if that's too weird I get it".
"Haha, I dunno. I'll nudge you in the ribs if it is".
I got the light. Matt spoke in the darkness.
"Goodnight Tom. I think I spend a lot of time thanking you, and sometimes I'm not sure what for. But thank you mate. Genuinely".
He held my hand tightly. I gripped and held it back.
"Goodnight Matt".