AND THIS IS EPILOGUE TIME. 
More content including many "straight to gays" tales, chapters available months in advance, illustrations, and exclusive stories are available on my Patreon: Thomas Lodge is creating Gay Erotic Stories | Patreon.
Thanks for your support!
*
FROM HOMOPHOBE TO HOMO
Chapter 24: What it means to be gay (Part 1)
After everything that I had agreed to do, every dick I had taken in my mouth or deep in my ass, every load I had swallowed or been painted with, I still ended-up in an even worse position than I had started in.
I was walking in the streets of New-York, virtually homeless, shirtless and barefoot... Damn, I did not even have underwear on!
My entire possessions consisted if my low-battery phone and the grey sweatpants I was wearing.
At least, they made my crotch look good...
People were staring at me, a barely naked hunk wandering around in the streets. Maybe they already knew me, from the website, from the videos. I had no idea where I was walking towards to.
I checked my phone.
8% battery.
I needed help.
I had reached my lowest point but, in a way, it was also my ground zero. I was starting from scratch. I finally knew who I was, where my limits were, I was no longer scared.
There must have been someone left in that world willing to help me! Right?
I walked some more, through many blocks. My feet started hurting against the concrete.
I had to call someone. Anyone.
Who?
6% battery.
I checked my last texts.
I called Jonathan.
He did not pick up.
Fuck my life.
Where can you find a hot ginger jock when you need one? I considered walking to a gayer neighbourhood. I could probably get some money in exchange of a blowjob. I would find myself an old daddy, just for a few hundreds of dollars. Maybe less.
I could not live off the streets but I knew that I could take a dick in my ass to save my life.
I opened a map application on my phone.
5% battery.
What should I type: "Gay meeting spot for older rich guys"? "Whoring location"? Or should I go directly on an escort website? Would I have time to create a profile and find some rich guy quickly?
Right before I started typing, my phone rang.
It was Jonathan, calling me back.
"Connor? Hi. You tried to reach me?"
"Hi... Yeah... Sorry... I..."
What should I have told him? "Hey, it turned out that I was sort of a sex slave for my roommate and I just ran away, can you save me?"
No... I could not reasonably say that.
"Everything's fine? I cannot hear you well."
"Yeah... I saw your texts, John... I was just wondering if you wanted to have that drink."
"Bro... At 4am?"
Oh well. I had not thought about that.
"I was just... I was thinking about you..."
3% battery.
"Are you ok, Connor? Really. Did you take something? Should I call someone?"
"No, no. I'm fine. I swear. I've just had a very rough night. I got in a fight with Robbie. I think I need some help."
"What kind of help? Where are you?"
I just had the time to give him the street I was on when my phone turned off.
Those fucking batteries! They always die before they actually reach 0%.
I sat down on the sidewalk.
I was exhausted.
For lack of sugar daddies and of any way to find one on the Internet, maybe I could just offer some random guys passing by a blowjob? Some straight guys might even be interested.
And even if they would not give me money, they could at least lend me a charger for my phone.
A deepthroat or a sodomy for a few minutes of battery, that was a real bargain!
I noticed a bald guy who was walking towards me. Maybe he would be interested? He looked a bit threatening but he was alone, probably lonely... Maybe horny?
Thankfully, before I could go down that low, a sport car stopped right in front of me.
It was like a dream. A red Audi TTS, one of my favourite models, appeared in the quiet street out of nowhere, and parked 10 inches away from my bare feet.
When the passenger's door opened, I recognized Jonathan behind the wheel. His ginger hair was fitting nicely within the sport car.
I had noticed that car parked at the gym from times to times, I did not know it was his.
"Well, jump in!" Jonathan pressed me.
Confused but relieved, I stood up and got in the passenger's seat.
I was dirty as fuck, I would mess the nice leather. Jonathan looked at me making a weird face.
"What the hell happened to you, bro? You got mugged? Should we go to the police?"
"No police." I spoke.
I looked down at the dirt on my feet: "Sorry for your car."
"That's fine, I guess... I'm more concerned with the fact that I may be bringing a fugitive home."
"You're taking me to your place?"
"And you're not answering the question about you being a fugitive. If you did not get mugged yourself. Did you kill someone? Your roommate maybe?"
"Why on Earth would have I killed Robbie?"
"Dunno, always felt like there was a super weird vibe between you two."
As it turned out, Jonathan was insightful besides being hot as fuck.
"I am really sorry to have called you. You were the last person who texted me. My phone was about to die. I did not know what to do... I promise you; I have not hurt anyone. I did not take any drug or anything. I just.... I just need a place to rest."
John assessed me, scanning me from head to toes, stopping longer than necessary on my nipples (hard, because of the cold), and on my crotch.
"You should have told me you were practically naked; I would have brought you some clothes for the ride."
"Yeah... I did not think about that."
He chuckled.
"You are a weird man, Connor. A weird man."
I smiled.
"And you're a good guy, John."
"I am." He started the engine. "Let's get you to my place then, I'm not going to send you back on that sidewalk. That bald dude was looking weirdly at you, I don't think he intended to be nice to you."
I thanked Jonathan again and we drove for about twenty minutes.
The streets of New-York City were empty but when we got to his building, the first rays of sunshine were already appearing on the horizon. The night had gone.
Just like Robbie, Jonathan was living in a fancy neighbourhood.
His apartment looked even bigger than Robbie's actually. I realized that I had no idea of what John was doing for a living. I only knew him from the gym.
Was he a freaking pornstar in disguise too?! He did have the perfect body (and cock) for that kind of work.
"I'll let you take a shower and I'll prepare you a bed." He told me.
I got strong reminiscences of the first time I went to Robbie's place.
Suddenly, my heart started beating fast. I could not make the same mistake again. Maybe I should run before John use and abuse me?
He smiled at me and I chose to trust him. Also, and to be fair, I did not have much of a choice.
I walked to his bathroom.
The warm water of the shower calmed my nerves. My asshole was still a bit sore. That double penetration a couple days prior had been very rough!
When I got out, Johnathan was lying on his couch in his underwear, semi-sleeping. I had woken him up in the middle of the night.
"You can use my bed; you need more sleep than I do and I have to start working soon. I don't think I'll sleep much more today."
I was not sure if he was expecting for anything to happen between us. I was naked except for the towel wrapped around my waist.
"I can use your couch. That's fine, really." I suggested.
"You should see your face, dude, trust me, you need some good few hours of sleep. And then, we'll talk."
I guess I had the "face" of someone who got double-penetrated, shot his first porn scene, swallowed 100 loads of jizz, and fucked his roommate in the last forty-eight hours.
I nodded yes and went to the spacious single bedroom.
The bed was nicely done. There were some underwear, a t-shirt, and some broad shorts on the sheets. Another clue that John was not Robbie. My ex-roommate, for sure, would have made me sleep naked.
I put the underwear on and slipped into the bed.
I fell asleep immediately.
I woke-up to the sound of someone arguing over the phone.
"Robert, you cannot consider the threshold has been reached. We have rules in place for a reason."
It took me a whole minute to remember where I was. In John's apartment. In John's freaking bed. I looked at the clock. Fuck's sake, it was 6pm already! A whole day had gone by!
I got up only to realize I was sporting a huge morning wood.
Well, an "evening wood", I guess at this point.
I made sure I was back to being flaccid before walking into the living space where Jonathan was having a visio-call.
"Of course, I have considered the termination clause. I have considered all options."
I had to refrain a laugh when I saw him.
On top, Jonathan was wearing a nice and perfectly ironed white shirt with a red tie (always with the red, that guy), and a blue navy jacket, but on the bottom - where his correspondent could not see him -, he was wearing some loose blue underwear with anime characters printed on the fabric.
He gave me a sign when I walked in to signify that he was busy. I did not know where to go so I went to the bathroom to take a piss.
I heard more of John's conversation over the phone, he was talking about a business deal of some sort.
I patiently waited for John to end his call. I felt silly being there.
After a few minutes, I heard him (politely) say goodbye to the people he had just been arguing with and I got out of my hiding place.
"Hey..."
"Hey, sleepy bird. Are you feeling better?" John asked me with a smirk.
"I am. I did not realize I had slept for this long. You should have woken me up."
"You seemed like you needed that rest. Coffee?"
"No... I don't drink coffee..."
"Maybe you should start."
It was a joke but I could not stand people telling me what I should do anymore.
"I said no." I replied harshly.
"Ok. Chill! I have..." He searched his fridge. "Orange juice, maybe?"
"Yeah, thank you."
He poured me a glass.
Again, I felt bad for acting impulsive like that. John must have been thinking that I was insane. Maybe I was.
"Is everything fine with you?" I asked, trying to be nice.
"Why?"
"That phone call, that seemed tense."
He laughed.
"Oh no. I mean, it was, but that's just the job. I'm a lawyer. Arguing is just part of what I do."
"Oh, that explains the serious look and formal style." I said, grinning at him.
He looked down at his underwear and ridiculous outfit.
"Yeah, well, I'm usually alone at home when I work remotely."
"I won't bother you for too long... I just needed a good night, or rather a good day, of sleep."
"Where are you gonna go?"
That was a relevant question. Where the fuck was I going to go?
"I think I'll have to go back to my dad's farm. Just for a little while, until I can get back on my feet."
"But what happened to you, dude? You fought with your boyfriend, I mean, your roommate?"
Jonathan knew exactly what he was implying.
"Robbie is neither my boyfriend nor my roommate. He... He's just an asshole. An asshole who is weirdly obsessed with me."
"Ok...? And?"
"Look, it would be very long and difficult to explain."
"Generally, when people say that, it's just that they don't want to explain at all, but that's fine. I don't want to force you or anything. Your phone is charged by the way. It's right there."
I thanked him and went to pick it up.
12 missed calls.
All from Robbie. Fuck him. (Not literally though, been there, done that.)
"Can I use your computer to show you something?" I asked Jonathan.
"Be my guest."
"You were checking me out at the gym when we first talked to each other, right?"
"Hey! You were checking me out too!" He snapped back.
"I know, you're hot, but that's not my point! I wanted to say, when you were looking at me, like, wandering around in my jockstraps at the gym, you did not know what Robbie and I were doing? And Carlos?"
"I'm not following. The three of you were in a throuple or something?" I chuckled.
"Oh boy... Just be prepared for a little surprise."
After a quick Google Search, I found Robbie's page and there, multiple links to everything: the 24/7 live stream, the content visible in replay (which I did not realize was happening), the previous videos -- even the very first ones where I was only jerking him off, my face fully visible -, and uploaded that very afternoon, my bukkake scene on Claudio's studio website.
I confirm: Jonathan was very much surprised.
"What the actual hell? You are a pornstar?" He exclaimed, his jaw on the floor.
I had just pressed play on the bukkake video. I could hardly recognize myself.
I did not know if I should cry, laugh or run away from the United States.
"I guess." I simply said.
"Dude, this page has 25.000 paid subscribers?! That's huge!"
"Yeap..."
"Connor, you must be loaded! Wait... What the hell are you doing in the streets barefoot with no underwear on, then? You should be living in a freaking mansion!"
"I have said it all already. Robbie is an asshole. That sums it up. He... How to say that? He sort of refused to pay me for appearing in the videos. He also... hmmm... pushed me to be featured."
Jonathan's face changed and he took a more serious expression.
He was grave when he talked again.
"Wait, you consented to that, right? Being recorded? Having sex on camera?"
"It's complicated, but yeah... I mean, yes. I did. I needed money and... I... I liked it. For the most part."
"Damn, and I thought you were a huge homophobic prick when I first met you! And all this time, you were actually getting fucked on camera!"
"I was a homophobic prick! I... I had some troubles... I guess, accepting who I was, who I am. I'm gay. Well, I'm attracted to guys... Like to you, for example."
"Good example." He smirked.
"But Robbie took advantage of that, of my confusion. He trapped me. Not really, not physically, just like, emotionally."
Out of nowhere, I started crying. It was not pretty, literal waterfall.
But I was too exhausted to feel shameful of that. I needed to let it all out.
"I'm fucked up, John. Rob made me fall for him and I think he was too... He was falling for me. It is all messed up. I had to run away."
Jonathan was very, and legitimately, confused. I was not kidding before, the relationship I had with Robbie was difficult to explain. He took me in his arms.
"Jesus Christ, Connor, you really don't think we should go to the police? Or at least to a lawyer? That story is insane. I have a few friends who could help you out at the firm. Just the question of the money alone, the very least is for you to get compensation for those videos online."
After much back and forth, I decided to stay one more night at John's place.
I had agreed to meet with some of his lawyers' friends the next day. I did not want to take any action against Robbie but it was only fair to ask for a share of the profits for the videos I was featured in.
Overall and in the past six months, Robbie had given me around 20.000$ which was absolutely nothing compared to the revenues the live-stream alone had generated. He had probably made a million dollars.
John really was perfect.
He did not make any move towards me, he was only listening carefully, gasping from time to time and giving me some advice. Besides, he was cooking and his tiramisu was delicious.
To be honest, I was rather the one checking him out as he was walking around in his tight (and you guessed it, red!) boxer briefs.
His body was impeccable, the ginger pubic hair slightly visible were giving me butterflies in my stomach.
We had a long discussion before going to sleep. Nothing too deep. Sports, TV, porn. He was not a fan of it, he had always preferred the real thing. John did not even use dating apps, preferring to meet people in real life, in bars or at the gym.
"I want to feel the connection, you know. The real thing. Not the bullshit in a chat."
"How come you're single then?" I asked him.
"What do you mean?"
"You're good looking, you're a lawyer, you own this nice place. I know for a fact that you're a decent guy. You have a big dick, a nice ass." I dared adding. "You being single does not make sense."
"First of all, I'm only 29. I think it is fair that I'm still single, I'm not that old!" He grinned at me. "Second, I was in a long-term relationship with my ex-boyfriend, nearly five years, but he left me... About a year ago."
"Oh..."
He shrugged his shoulders.
"I guess that's life. And what about you? You have discovered that you were gay only recently then? Have you ever dated a guy, like really?"
"What do you mean? I've had sex with dudes. I'm homo."
He laughed.
"Fucking a dude does not mean you're gay. Sure, it means that sexually, you like to have fun with guys. But it could mean that you are bi. It also does not mean that you would be attracted to a guy in a romantic way."
I had a lump in my throat.
"I think I would though."
"What do you mean?"
"I would be attracted to a guy a romantic way. I mean, I just had very recently come to terms with it."
Jonathan caressed my left cheek gently.
"Circumstances of your self-discovery seem a bit extreme my friend, but if this is of any help, coming out is a difficult process for each of us. And you're what, 24? You're very young. You have time to figure shit out. But my first advice would be to stop worrying about what box you should categorize yourself into, and just follow what your heart wants."
I do not know what came over me, I grabbed his neck and kissed him.
[Chapter 24 continues below]
More content including many "straight to gays" tales, chapters available months in advance, illustrations, and exclusive stories are available on my Patreon: Thomas Lodge is creating Gay Erotic Stories | Patreon.
Thanks for your support!
*
FROM HOMOPHOBE TO HOMO
Chapter 24: What it means to be gay (Part 1)
After everything that I had agreed to do, every dick I had taken in my mouth or deep in my ass, every load I had swallowed or been painted with, I still ended-up in an even worse position than I had started in.
I was walking in the streets of New-York, virtually homeless, shirtless and barefoot... Damn, I did not even have underwear on!
My entire possessions consisted if my low-battery phone and the grey sweatpants I was wearing.
At least, they made my crotch look good...
People were staring at me, a barely naked hunk wandering around in the streets. Maybe they already knew me, from the website, from the videos. I had no idea where I was walking towards to.
I checked my phone.
8% battery.
I needed help.
I had reached my lowest point but, in a way, it was also my ground zero. I was starting from scratch. I finally knew who I was, where my limits were, I was no longer scared.
There must have been someone left in that world willing to help me! Right?
I walked some more, through many blocks. My feet started hurting against the concrete.
I had to call someone. Anyone.
Who?
6% battery.
I checked my last texts.
I called Jonathan.
He did not pick up.
Fuck my life.
Where can you find a hot ginger jock when you need one? I considered walking to a gayer neighbourhood. I could probably get some money in exchange of a blowjob. I would find myself an old daddy, just for a few hundreds of dollars. Maybe less.
I could not live off the streets but I knew that I could take a dick in my ass to save my life.
I opened a map application on my phone.
5% battery.
What should I type: "Gay meeting spot for older rich guys"? "Whoring location"? Or should I go directly on an escort website? Would I have time to create a profile and find some rich guy quickly?
Right before I started typing, my phone rang.
It was Jonathan, calling me back.
"Connor? Hi. You tried to reach me?"
"Hi... Yeah... Sorry... I..."
What should I have told him? "Hey, it turned out that I was sort of a sex slave for my roommate and I just ran away, can you save me?"
No... I could not reasonably say that.
"Everything's fine? I cannot hear you well."
"Yeah... I saw your texts, John... I was just wondering if you wanted to have that drink."
"Bro... At 4am?"
Oh well. I had not thought about that.
"I was just... I was thinking about you..."
3% battery.
"Are you ok, Connor? Really. Did you take something? Should I call someone?"
"No, no. I'm fine. I swear. I've just had a very rough night. I got in a fight with Robbie. I think I need some help."
"What kind of help? Where are you?"
I just had the time to give him the street I was on when my phone turned off.
Those fucking batteries! They always die before they actually reach 0%.
I sat down on the sidewalk.
I was exhausted.
For lack of sugar daddies and of any way to find one on the Internet, maybe I could just offer some random guys passing by a blowjob? Some straight guys might even be interested.
And even if they would not give me money, they could at least lend me a charger for my phone.
A deepthroat or a sodomy for a few minutes of battery, that was a real bargain!
I noticed a bald guy who was walking towards me. Maybe he would be interested? He looked a bit threatening but he was alone, probably lonely... Maybe horny?
Thankfully, before I could go down that low, a sport car stopped right in front of me.
It was like a dream. A red Audi TTS, one of my favourite models, appeared in the quiet street out of nowhere, and parked 10 inches away from my bare feet.
When the passenger's door opened, I recognized Jonathan behind the wheel. His ginger hair was fitting nicely within the sport car.
I had noticed that car parked at the gym from times to times, I did not know it was his.
"Well, jump in!" Jonathan pressed me.
Confused but relieved, I stood up and got in the passenger's seat.
I was dirty as fuck, I would mess the nice leather. Jonathan looked at me making a weird face.
"What the hell happened to you, bro? You got mugged? Should we go to the police?"
"No police." I spoke.
I looked down at the dirt on my feet: "Sorry for your car."
"That's fine, I guess... I'm more concerned with the fact that I may be bringing a fugitive home."
"You're taking me to your place?"
"And you're not answering the question about you being a fugitive. If you did not get mugged yourself. Did you kill someone? Your roommate maybe?"
"Why on Earth would have I killed Robbie?"
"Dunno, always felt like there was a super weird vibe between you two."
As it turned out, Jonathan was insightful besides being hot as fuck.
"I am really sorry to have called you. You were the last person who texted me. My phone was about to die. I did not know what to do... I promise you; I have not hurt anyone. I did not take any drug or anything. I just.... I just need a place to rest."
John assessed me, scanning me from head to toes, stopping longer than necessary on my nipples (hard, because of the cold), and on my crotch.
"You should have told me you were practically naked; I would have brought you some clothes for the ride."
"Yeah... I did not think about that."
He chuckled.
"You are a weird man, Connor. A weird man."
I smiled.
"And you're a good guy, John."
"I am." He started the engine. "Let's get you to my place then, I'm not going to send you back on that sidewalk. That bald dude was looking weirdly at you, I don't think he intended to be nice to you."
I thanked Jonathan again and we drove for about twenty minutes.
The streets of New-York City were empty but when we got to his building, the first rays of sunshine were already appearing on the horizon. The night had gone.
Just like Robbie, Jonathan was living in a fancy neighbourhood.
His apartment looked even bigger than Robbie's actually. I realized that I had no idea of what John was doing for a living. I only knew him from the gym.
Was he a freaking pornstar in disguise too?! He did have the perfect body (and cock) for that kind of work.
"I'll let you take a shower and I'll prepare you a bed." He told me.
I got strong reminiscences of the first time I went to Robbie's place.
Suddenly, my heart started beating fast. I could not make the same mistake again. Maybe I should run before John use and abuse me?
He smiled at me and I chose to trust him. Also, and to be fair, I did not have much of a choice.
I walked to his bathroom.
The warm water of the shower calmed my nerves. My asshole was still a bit sore. That double penetration a couple days prior had been very rough!
When I got out, Johnathan was lying on his couch in his underwear, semi-sleeping. I had woken him up in the middle of the night.
"You can use my bed; you need more sleep than I do and I have to start working soon. I don't think I'll sleep much more today."
I was not sure if he was expecting for anything to happen between us. I was naked except for the towel wrapped around my waist.
"I can use your couch. That's fine, really." I suggested.
"You should see your face, dude, trust me, you need some good few hours of sleep. And then, we'll talk."
I guess I had the "face" of someone who got double-penetrated, shot his first porn scene, swallowed 100 loads of jizz, and fucked his roommate in the last forty-eight hours.
I nodded yes and went to the spacious single bedroom.
The bed was nicely done. There were some underwear, a t-shirt, and some broad shorts on the sheets. Another clue that John was not Robbie. My ex-roommate, for sure, would have made me sleep naked.
I put the underwear on and slipped into the bed.
I fell asleep immediately.
I woke-up to the sound of someone arguing over the phone.
"Robert, you cannot consider the threshold has been reached. We have rules in place for a reason."
It took me a whole minute to remember where I was. In John's apartment. In John's freaking bed. I looked at the clock. Fuck's sake, it was 6pm already! A whole day had gone by!
I got up only to realize I was sporting a huge morning wood.
Well, an "evening wood", I guess at this point.
I made sure I was back to being flaccid before walking into the living space where Jonathan was having a visio-call.
"Of course, I have considered the termination clause. I have considered all options."
I had to refrain a laugh when I saw him.
On top, Jonathan was wearing a nice and perfectly ironed white shirt with a red tie (always with the red, that guy), and a blue navy jacket, but on the bottom - where his correspondent could not see him -, he was wearing some loose blue underwear with anime characters printed on the fabric.
He gave me a sign when I walked in to signify that he was busy. I did not know where to go so I went to the bathroom to take a piss.
I heard more of John's conversation over the phone, he was talking about a business deal of some sort.
I patiently waited for John to end his call. I felt silly being there.
After a few minutes, I heard him (politely) say goodbye to the people he had just been arguing with and I got out of my hiding place.
"Hey..."
"Hey, sleepy bird. Are you feeling better?" John asked me with a smirk.
"I am. I did not realize I had slept for this long. You should have woken me up."
"You seemed like you needed that rest. Coffee?"
"No... I don't drink coffee..."
"Maybe you should start."
It was a joke but I could not stand people telling me what I should do anymore.
"I said no." I replied harshly.
"Ok. Chill! I have..." He searched his fridge. "Orange juice, maybe?"
"Yeah, thank you."
He poured me a glass.
Again, I felt bad for acting impulsive like that. John must have been thinking that I was insane. Maybe I was.
"Is everything fine with you?" I asked, trying to be nice.
"Why?"
"That phone call, that seemed tense."
He laughed.
"Oh no. I mean, it was, but that's just the job. I'm a lawyer. Arguing is just part of what I do."
"Oh, that explains the serious look and formal style." I said, grinning at him.
He looked down at his underwear and ridiculous outfit.
"Yeah, well, I'm usually alone at home when I work remotely."
"I won't bother you for too long... I just needed a good night, or rather a good day, of sleep."
"Where are you gonna go?"
That was a relevant question. Where the fuck was I going to go?
"I think I'll have to go back to my dad's farm. Just for a little while, until I can get back on my feet."
"But what happened to you, dude? You fought with your boyfriend, I mean, your roommate?"
Jonathan knew exactly what he was implying.
"Robbie is neither my boyfriend nor my roommate. He... He's just an asshole. An asshole who is weirdly obsessed with me."
"Ok...? And?"
"Look, it would be very long and difficult to explain."
"Generally, when people say that, it's just that they don't want to explain at all, but that's fine. I don't want to force you or anything. Your phone is charged by the way. It's right there."
I thanked him and went to pick it up.
12 missed calls.
All from Robbie. Fuck him. (Not literally though, been there, done that.)
"Can I use your computer to show you something?" I asked Jonathan.
"Be my guest."
"You were checking me out at the gym when we first talked to each other, right?"
"Hey! You were checking me out too!" He snapped back.
"I know, you're hot, but that's not my point! I wanted to say, when you were looking at me, like, wandering around in my jockstraps at the gym, you did not know what Robbie and I were doing? And Carlos?"
"I'm not following. The three of you were in a throuple or something?" I chuckled.
"Oh boy... Just be prepared for a little surprise."
After a quick Google Search, I found Robbie's page and there, multiple links to everything: the 24/7 live stream, the content visible in replay (which I did not realize was happening), the previous videos -- even the very first ones where I was only jerking him off, my face fully visible -, and uploaded that very afternoon, my bukkake scene on Claudio's studio website.
I confirm: Jonathan was very much surprised.
"What the actual hell? You are a pornstar?" He exclaimed, his jaw on the floor.
I had just pressed play on the bukkake video. I could hardly recognize myself.
I did not know if I should cry, laugh or run away from the United States.
"I guess." I simply said.
"Dude, this page has 25.000 paid subscribers?! That's huge!"
"Yeap..."
"Connor, you must be loaded! Wait... What the hell are you doing in the streets barefoot with no underwear on, then? You should be living in a freaking mansion!"
"I have said it all already. Robbie is an asshole. That sums it up. He... How to say that? He sort of refused to pay me for appearing in the videos. He also... hmmm... pushed me to be featured."
Jonathan's face changed and he took a more serious expression.
He was grave when he talked again.
"Wait, you consented to that, right? Being recorded? Having sex on camera?"
"It's complicated, but yeah... I mean, yes. I did. I needed money and... I... I liked it. For the most part."
"Damn, and I thought you were a huge homophobic prick when I first met you! And all this time, you were actually getting fucked on camera!"
"I was a homophobic prick! I... I had some troubles... I guess, accepting who I was, who I am. I'm gay. Well, I'm attracted to guys... Like to you, for example."
"Good example." He smirked.
"But Robbie took advantage of that, of my confusion. He trapped me. Not really, not physically, just like, emotionally."
Out of nowhere, I started crying. It was not pretty, literal waterfall.
But I was too exhausted to feel shameful of that. I needed to let it all out.
"I'm fucked up, John. Rob made me fall for him and I think he was too... He was falling for me. It is all messed up. I had to run away."
Jonathan was very, and legitimately, confused. I was not kidding before, the relationship I had with Robbie was difficult to explain. He took me in his arms.
"Jesus Christ, Connor, you really don't think we should go to the police? Or at least to a lawyer? That story is insane. I have a few friends who could help you out at the firm. Just the question of the money alone, the very least is for you to get compensation for those videos online."
After much back and forth, I decided to stay one more night at John's place.
I had agreed to meet with some of his lawyers' friends the next day. I did not want to take any action against Robbie but it was only fair to ask for a share of the profits for the videos I was featured in.
Overall and in the past six months, Robbie had given me around 20.000$ which was absolutely nothing compared to the revenues the live-stream alone had generated. He had probably made a million dollars.
John really was perfect.
He did not make any move towards me, he was only listening carefully, gasping from time to time and giving me some advice. Besides, he was cooking and his tiramisu was delicious.
To be honest, I was rather the one checking him out as he was walking around in his tight (and you guessed it, red!) boxer briefs.
His body was impeccable, the ginger pubic hair slightly visible were giving me butterflies in my stomach.
We had a long discussion before going to sleep. Nothing too deep. Sports, TV, porn. He was not a fan of it, he had always preferred the real thing. John did not even use dating apps, preferring to meet people in real life, in bars or at the gym.
"I want to feel the connection, you know. The real thing. Not the bullshit in a chat."
"How come you're single then?" I asked him.
"What do you mean?"
"You're good looking, you're a lawyer, you own this nice place. I know for a fact that you're a decent guy. You have a big dick, a nice ass." I dared adding. "You being single does not make sense."
"First of all, I'm only 29. I think it is fair that I'm still single, I'm not that old!" He grinned at me. "Second, I was in a long-term relationship with my ex-boyfriend, nearly five years, but he left me... About a year ago."
"Oh..."
He shrugged his shoulders.
"I guess that's life. And what about you? You have discovered that you were gay only recently then? Have you ever dated a guy, like really?"
"What do you mean? I've had sex with dudes. I'm homo."
He laughed.
"Fucking a dude does not mean you're gay. Sure, it means that sexually, you like to have fun with guys. But it could mean that you are bi. It also does not mean that you would be attracted to a guy in a romantic way."
I had a lump in my throat.
"I think I would though."
"What do you mean?"
"I would be attracted to a guy a romantic way. I mean, I just had very recently come to terms with it."
Jonathan caressed my left cheek gently.
"Circumstances of your self-discovery seem a bit extreme my friend, but if this is of any help, coming out is a difficult process for each of us. And you're what, 24? You're very young. You have time to figure shit out. But my first advice would be to stop worrying about what box you should categorize yourself into, and just follow what your heart wants."
I do not know what came over me, I grabbed his neck and kissed him.
[Chapter 24 continues below]
