Part 1
I wanted to share real life stories of my college experience and how it shaped me even today.
Background
To help set the scene. I grew up in a very conservative home, the kind that goes to church three times a week. Purity culture, no sex at all , no thoughts of sex, it was some sort of forbidden topic. No really knowing any better I went along with it. While at church I met a guy who became my best friend and we were a bromance before that was even a thing. We'll call him Alex. Alex and I went on all our youth group events and I remember one night while we were in high school we went on a ski trip to New York and per usual we'd have to share beds and naturally Alex and I always did. However that one night as we were getting ready for bed Alex stripped down to his boxers, as this was the 90's and that's all we wore back then. and I could visibly see his package just bouncing around as he'd got into bed. I can still recall them even today. White with red polka dots. That was the first moment I thought maybe just maybe I like guys? I lay there that night wondering what Alex's dick looked like, was it like mine and why was I so curious?
Senior year of high school came and went and Alex and I sort of parted ways over as the summer began I got busy and he got busy. One day I find out from a friend of ours that Alex was hospitalized for his recently diagnosed bipolar disorder. His family sent him away to some sort of facility and sadly I never got to see him again. I thought I would at winter break but his family wouldn't allow any of his friends to be in contact with us. I knew we were going to different colleges but I thought we'd still keep in touch. Freshman year I went off to college halfway across the country to small christian school in Arkansas of all places. It was and still is a deeply religious school. My parents chose for me and somehow I felt that such a structured conservative place would be just what I needed.
I rode across the country with another friend I knew from youth group. It was a 13 hour drive from my house. We got in super late and he dropped me off at my freshman dorm. I found my room assignment and went up to my room, it was a small space but I thought it would be good enough. I arrived not knowing when my roommate who I hadn't met other than a brief call over the summer would even arrive. This was before cell phones so he didn't call and I didn't even have a phone in the room anyway. I looked around the room and realized he hadn't yet arrived. I found my bed sheets, made my bed, took a shower and then crawled into bed. I always slept in boxers just like Alex and always did. Somehow in my head that what the cool kids did. The next morning I wake up to our dorm room door opening and Jake (not his real name) comes carrying a box. I was was barely half awake. He saw it before I did but I was sporting major morning wood. somehow my dick managed to slide out fly and there on my first day of college at this super conservative school I sat there in bed mortified and deeply embarrassed. He closed the door and made some comment "Is that real?" As I moved around trying to re-adjust, it was obvious to him that it was. I sat on the edge of the bed with my pillow now securely on my lap. he dropped the box on the floor and headed out to carry the rest of his things in. I went looking for my shorts and a t shirt in my suitcase. Jake come back and I hear him say something like "Is the coast clear?" I told him it was all good. Thankfully at it was more or less half a chub. I offered to help him carry the rest of his things in. We chatted as we made the several trips back and forth from his new Toyota Tacoma. Jake came from money, but country folk money as he had a deep southern accent.
After helping him unpack and set up our room, he brought way more stuff than I did. We decided to head over to this "Welcome Freshman" event. As we walked across campus I still felt nervous as Jake never brought up our first interaction and I wondered to myself do I apologize? What do I say, do I just act normal like nothing ever happened, do I bring it up again? I chose to act like it never happened too. That seemed like the thing to do.
I wanted to share real life stories of my college experience and how it shaped me even today.
Background
To help set the scene. I grew up in a very conservative home, the kind that goes to church three times a week. Purity culture, no sex at all , no thoughts of sex, it was some sort of forbidden topic. No really knowing any better I went along with it. While at church I met a guy who became my best friend and we were a bromance before that was even a thing. We'll call him Alex. Alex and I went on all our youth group events and I remember one night while we were in high school we went on a ski trip to New York and per usual we'd have to share beds and naturally Alex and I always did. However that one night as we were getting ready for bed Alex stripped down to his boxers, as this was the 90's and that's all we wore back then. and I could visibly see his package just bouncing around as he'd got into bed. I can still recall them even today. White with red polka dots. That was the first moment I thought maybe just maybe I like guys? I lay there that night wondering what Alex's dick looked like, was it like mine and why was I so curious?
Senior year of high school came and went and Alex and I sort of parted ways over as the summer began I got busy and he got busy. One day I find out from a friend of ours that Alex was hospitalized for his recently diagnosed bipolar disorder. His family sent him away to some sort of facility and sadly I never got to see him again. I thought I would at winter break but his family wouldn't allow any of his friends to be in contact with us. I knew we were going to different colleges but I thought we'd still keep in touch. Freshman year I went off to college halfway across the country to small christian school in Arkansas of all places. It was and still is a deeply religious school. My parents chose for me and somehow I felt that such a structured conservative place would be just what I needed.
I rode across the country with another friend I knew from youth group. It was a 13 hour drive from my house. We got in super late and he dropped me off at my freshman dorm. I found my room assignment and went up to my room, it was a small space but I thought it would be good enough. I arrived not knowing when my roommate who I hadn't met other than a brief call over the summer would even arrive. This was before cell phones so he didn't call and I didn't even have a phone in the room anyway. I looked around the room and realized he hadn't yet arrived. I found my bed sheets, made my bed, took a shower and then crawled into bed. I always slept in boxers just like Alex and always did. Somehow in my head that what the cool kids did. The next morning I wake up to our dorm room door opening and Jake (not his real name) comes carrying a box. I was was barely half awake. He saw it before I did but I was sporting major morning wood. somehow my dick managed to slide out fly and there on my first day of college at this super conservative school I sat there in bed mortified and deeply embarrassed. He closed the door and made some comment "Is that real?" As I moved around trying to re-adjust, it was obvious to him that it was. I sat on the edge of the bed with my pillow now securely on my lap. he dropped the box on the floor and headed out to carry the rest of his things in. I went looking for my shorts and a t shirt in my suitcase. Jake come back and I hear him say something like "Is the coast clear?" I told him it was all good. Thankfully at it was more or less half a chub. I offered to help him carry the rest of his things in. We chatted as we made the several trips back and forth from his new Toyota Tacoma. Jake came from money, but country folk money as he had a deep southern accent.
After helping him unpack and set up our room, he brought way more stuff than I did. We decided to head over to this "Welcome Freshman" event. As we walked across campus I still felt nervous as Jake never brought up our first interaction and I wondered to myself do I apologize? What do I say, do I just act normal like nothing ever happened, do I bring it up again? I chose to act like it never happened too. That seemed like the thing to do.
