- Joined
- Aug 31, 2020
- Posts
- 2,329
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- 533
- Location
- New Jersey, United States of America
- Sexuality
- 69% Gay, 31% Straight
- Gender
- Male
**Constructive criticism only! No hate please. I'm trying to work on my appearance and new methods to implement when I get ready or skincare or anything else.**
I understand I'm not "desirable" (with either men or women), and I hate when people say "Don't say that" - It's the truth. Honesty is the best policy.
Anyway, I'll be sharing photos of me in a separate post (face, hair, facial hair and body hair - for tips only).
For now, I'll describe my stats.
1. Height: 5'3" (for overseas readers, that's 160cm)
2. Weight: 135 lb. (better known as 61kg)
3. Age: 27
4. Facial Hair? Yes, but very little besides my small mustache
5. Cock Size: Uncut - 4 inches small; 7 inches hard. I use rechargeable clippers to shave. My dad was from Bermuda; my mom's American.
6. Body Hair: Yes - Some say I have barely any, but some feel I have a lot. I guess it depends who you ask?
7. Ordinary Hair: Curly black hair. I prefer my hair longer, but women have told me "You look better with it shorter"; right now, my hair is so long that it touches my eyes and distracts me from conversations, sometimes.
**Bonus: Shoe size? 9 1/2 mens (I can easily fit into size 10 & 10 1/2 shoes though).**
**Bonus 2: I have psoriasis in my scalp, face and nose, so skincare is everything to me.**
8. My butt? Round and big. Why did I have to have a big butt and a small cock? It's the most confusing explanation of my life - then again, my genetics could always be worse. So I'm grateful I don't have both a flat butt and small cock - now that's a curse if I've ever seen one.
9. Curves? Yes, small curves on both hips.
10. Lip size/shape? Large. DSLs (I've been told). The puckering type (I guess I have cupid lips?) The guy I lost my virginity to once told me, "You have the sexiest lips!" I still consider that a compliment, even though shoulders (Posture is everything to me), clothing (What you wear is a type of body language - at least to me) and lips are some of the things I now find attractive when I meet potential dates.
11. My "eyes and cheekbones" (a Native American woman told me several years ago) are extremely Native American; I discovered a few months ago - through researching my family tree - some of my ancestors from Virginia were equally mixed with black, white and Native heritage. It's nothing new to me, since both my parents have at least one Native ancestor. My dad's was from the Bahamas in 1798 and my mom's was farther back - in the 1600s time period.
12. Long story short, I have - I'd presume - a nice combination of both Bermudian and Native American facial features. My dad's relatives all say I look "hardcore Bermudian"; my mom's relatives all say I look like my mom's twin; my mom used to say I look like her, but she is now thoroughly convinced I look identical to my British great-aunt (my legs are slightly wider than hers, and I think she was taller than me?? Anyway, my great-aunt was a female pioneer, in her own right and it's because of learning about her life and career that I've always put an emphasis of advocating for women and changing inequality on a smaller scale - but anyway.).
Speaking of the English great-aunt (for those of you from the UK, she was from the West Country - Bath, which is full of gorgeous Ancient Roman temples from the BC period, during the time of Hadrian's Wall and afterward), I was told I have a distant cousin on her side of the family who looks exactly like me.
Again - my mouth dropped.
I never got the cousin's info, so I don't have a chance to talk to them.
Back to my appearance:
What are some tips to improve my personal grooming habits?
I decided it's important to share some stories about me, since maybe that would help you guys with some personal grooming tips for me to practice.
It's always been a thorn in my side that women never desired me (I dated 4 women more than a decade ago, but that's so long ago that it doesn't count as real relationships).
I've dated so many guys since then, but guys do not hold back - Guys have called me ugly; one of my former friends rejected me because, "I go for twinks. You look your age (I was - I think - 23 at the time, and looked exactly the same as I do now). I like you as a friend. You look homeless, to be honest."
My mouth dropped after he said that & I was livid that someone had the audacity to say that to me, with no hesitation - much less, my close friend of 3 years at the time (It was 2019 when he said that).
And I have a boyfriend now (I'm monogamous, but was poly before - being poly didn't work since all my exes from 2020 to 2023 were toxic, so I recently decided to focus on my boyfriend and be monogamous).
However, despite my boyfriend's love for me (and he is wonderful to me - such a sophisticated gentleman and very business oriented, like myself; my pet name for him is Rhett Butler and the backstory is... for another thread!), I still do feel like "the ugly duckling" - I guess it will always be on my mind, but I embrace it now instead of numb the thought, like I did in childhood (I was an addict from 17 to 24, and anorexic for 19 years, until 2019 - I'm glad I'm 4 years sober from pills next month, on March 17th).
There's also a homophobia and gender roles aspect I can't shake; my family's expectations of "being a man" and masculinity were not ideal, but the more I refused to follow toxic masculinity, the more my female crushes rejected me - some wanted taller men, some women rejected me because I was black (Yes, even as of 2019, a woman I was head over heels in love with later SA'ed me), and some rejected me because they wanted "Rich men, with money" (I come from a working class family & always look up to entrepeneurs with grassroots iniatives).
I've always had a chip on my shoulder, from homophobic relatives - when I used to ask them "How do I attract more women?" (Even though my family was and still are cruel to me with tons of homophobic and even transphobic remarks said to my face and to my parents' faces, who were outraged and took their anger out on me several times - which made me rebellious and I have a never-back-down approach to obstacles now, which has gotten me some praise, but more often than not, a lot of enemies - I almost died over that.
I've heard my maternal great-grandmother was extremely strict, short like me, bow-legged, rude (all my relatives describe my great-grandmother as "She was a bitch. A mean bitch." and my aunt described her own personality the exact same way - and my aunt is 69 years old; I always describe my life as, "Of course I'm pansexual. I grew up around estrogen, while in utero, I'd constantly hunt for my one ounce of testosterone in the medicine cabinet; 27 years later, my mom is still homophobic!").
My g-gm was born in the Deep South in 1899, so she was from a different generation; automobiles were the "new thing on the market" when she was young.
When I was "a forming flower" (read between the lines), the world went wild for Tamagatchis, PlayStation 1, Grand Theft Auto, flip phones, Sidekicks, and... a few things I'd rather leave in the 2000s).
Anyway - I'm against plastic surgery, so what are some new personal grooming methods I could try to become desirable to both genders?
I understand I'm not "desirable" (with either men or women), and I hate when people say "Don't say that" - It's the truth. Honesty is the best policy.
Anyway, I'll be sharing photos of me in a separate post (face, hair, facial hair and body hair - for tips only).
For now, I'll describe my stats.
1. Height: 5'3" (for overseas readers, that's 160cm)
2. Weight: 135 lb. (better known as 61kg)
3. Age: 27
4. Facial Hair? Yes, but very little besides my small mustache
5. Cock Size: Uncut - 4 inches small; 7 inches hard. I use rechargeable clippers to shave. My dad was from Bermuda; my mom's American.
6. Body Hair: Yes - Some say I have barely any, but some feel I have a lot. I guess it depends who you ask?
7. Ordinary Hair: Curly black hair. I prefer my hair longer, but women have told me "You look better with it shorter"; right now, my hair is so long that it touches my eyes and distracts me from conversations, sometimes.
**Bonus: Shoe size? 9 1/2 mens (I can easily fit into size 10 & 10 1/2 shoes though).**
**Bonus 2: I have psoriasis in my scalp, face and nose, so skincare is everything to me.**
8. My butt? Round and big. Why did I have to have a big butt and a small cock? It's the most confusing explanation of my life - then again, my genetics could always be worse. So I'm grateful I don't have both a flat butt and small cock - now that's a curse if I've ever seen one.
9. Curves? Yes, small curves on both hips.
10. Lip size/shape? Large. DSLs (I've been told). The puckering type (I guess I have cupid lips?) The guy I lost my virginity to once told me, "You have the sexiest lips!" I still consider that a compliment, even though shoulders (Posture is everything to me), clothing (What you wear is a type of body language - at least to me) and lips are some of the things I now find attractive when I meet potential dates.
11. My "eyes and cheekbones" (a Native American woman told me several years ago) are extremely Native American; I discovered a few months ago - through researching my family tree - some of my ancestors from Virginia were equally mixed with black, white and Native heritage. It's nothing new to me, since both my parents have at least one Native ancestor. My dad's was from the Bahamas in 1798 and my mom's was farther back - in the 1600s time period.
12. Long story short, I have - I'd presume - a nice combination of both Bermudian and Native American facial features. My dad's relatives all say I look "hardcore Bermudian"; my mom's relatives all say I look like my mom's twin; my mom used to say I look like her, but she is now thoroughly convinced I look identical to my British great-aunt (my legs are slightly wider than hers, and I think she was taller than me?? Anyway, my great-aunt was a female pioneer, in her own right and it's because of learning about her life and career that I've always put an emphasis of advocating for women and changing inequality on a smaller scale - but anyway.).
Speaking of the English great-aunt (for those of you from the UK, she was from the West Country - Bath, which is full of gorgeous Ancient Roman temples from the BC period, during the time of Hadrian's Wall and afterward), I was told I have a distant cousin on her side of the family who looks exactly like me.
Again - my mouth dropped.
I never got the cousin's info, so I don't have a chance to talk to them.
Back to my appearance:
What are some tips to improve my personal grooming habits?
I decided it's important to share some stories about me, since maybe that would help you guys with some personal grooming tips for me to practice.
It's always been a thorn in my side that women never desired me (I dated 4 women more than a decade ago, but that's so long ago that it doesn't count as real relationships).
I've dated so many guys since then, but guys do not hold back - Guys have called me ugly; one of my former friends rejected me because, "I go for twinks. You look your age (I was - I think - 23 at the time, and looked exactly the same as I do now). I like you as a friend. You look homeless, to be honest."
My mouth dropped after he said that & I was livid that someone had the audacity to say that to me, with no hesitation - much less, my close friend of 3 years at the time (It was 2019 when he said that).
And I have a boyfriend now (I'm monogamous, but was poly before - being poly didn't work since all my exes from 2020 to 2023 were toxic, so I recently decided to focus on my boyfriend and be monogamous).
However, despite my boyfriend's love for me (and he is wonderful to me - such a sophisticated gentleman and very business oriented, like myself; my pet name for him is Rhett Butler and the backstory is... for another thread!), I still do feel like "the ugly duckling" - I guess it will always be on my mind, but I embrace it now instead of numb the thought, like I did in childhood (I was an addict from 17 to 24, and anorexic for 19 years, until 2019 - I'm glad I'm 4 years sober from pills next month, on March 17th).
There's also a homophobia and gender roles aspect I can't shake; my family's expectations of "being a man" and masculinity were not ideal, but the more I refused to follow toxic masculinity, the more my female crushes rejected me - some wanted taller men, some women rejected me because I was black (Yes, even as of 2019, a woman I was head over heels in love with later SA'ed me), and some rejected me because they wanted "Rich men, with money" (I come from a working class family & always look up to entrepeneurs with grassroots iniatives).
I've always had a chip on my shoulder, from homophobic relatives - when I used to ask them "How do I attract more women?" (Even though my family was and still are cruel to me with tons of homophobic and even transphobic remarks said to my face and to my parents' faces, who were outraged and took their anger out on me several times - which made me rebellious and I have a never-back-down approach to obstacles now, which has gotten me some praise, but more often than not, a lot of enemies - I almost died over that.
I've heard my maternal great-grandmother was extremely strict, short like me, bow-legged, rude (all my relatives describe my great-grandmother as "She was a bitch. A mean bitch." and my aunt described her own personality the exact same way - and my aunt is 69 years old; I always describe my life as, "Of course I'm pansexual. I grew up around estrogen, while in utero, I'd constantly hunt for my one ounce of testosterone in the medicine cabinet; 27 years later, my mom is still homophobic!").
My g-gm was born in the Deep South in 1899, so she was from a different generation; automobiles were the "new thing on the market" when she was young.
When I was "a forming flower" (read between the lines), the world went wild for Tamagatchis, PlayStation 1, Grand Theft Auto, flip phones, Sidekicks, and... a few things I'd rather leave in the 2000s).
Anyway - I'm against plastic surgery, so what are some new personal grooming methods I could try to become desirable to both genders?
