I replied to another forum, where someone asked the question what it is like to be a cuckold. I replied as honestly as I could.
I used to be a straight cuckold with a wife who eventually left me for one of her lovers. And yes, being left and divorced was actually a HOT experience, as strangely as it may sound.
Now I’m a gay cuckold with a fiancee that I adore totally. So cuckolding in my case transcends sexual orientation.
Well, my awesome boyfriend has joined the forum, and I'm so happy about that. We're intensely close - and that's why being cuckolded by him means everything, because I love him totally. If I didn’t, cuckolding would not be possible for me - I need to sacrifice - I need to put his sexual adventures above my own.
I get an overwhelming feeling of calmness and happiness and want to feel his happiness and his lust for other men - while at the same time doing all I can to keep him safe, comfortable and free at home - and while simultaneously our loyalty flourishes. Being cuckolded is just such an amazing feeling digging so deep into both taboo and reality - the reality of jealousy as a feeling to bring one closer to one's partner - and also to the initial dangers of cuckolding - I’ve met the consequences of cuckolding - namely being left.
To me cuckolding happens in the mind much more than in a physical, sexual reality - surely, it can encompass threesomes and watching, however for me it’s the socalled “cuckold-angst” that is overwhelming.
Let me try to explain - but remember, this is merely MY personal experience of the aspects of cuckolding, it may be completely different for others.
To me cuckold-angst is the magic feeling of jealousy intertwined with eroticism. The delicious PANG of jealousy when witnessing your lover/fiancee/better half being totally absorbed in some one else while at the same time TRULY wishing him/her a tremendous sexual and even romantic experience with that other lover. And to me this is actually less connected with being a participant (even though I’ve done that, and that’s super fine too) or watching the actual sexual romance going on. It’s much more the little things, like witnessing their flirting/chatting, learning about their escapades, feeling their intensity for and with each other.
I believe that it could probably have some roots in emotional masochism - but again, I’m not sure. It’s so non-normative that I cannot truly find any logic explanation - except maybe that our so called normative behavior of monogamy is actually unnatural?
What ever the psychological or neurological explanation, then I just feel totally safe and wonderful being a cuckold.
I hope I make just a little bit sense - at least for other cuckolds in spe.