Muscular Guys Slim/Skinny Guys

[blondemuscledreamer]

Hi all,

I was just thinking about this, prompted by my uneventful dating life, do (you) muscular gay guys ever feel attracted to slim/skinny gay guys like myself?

I’m not talking twink-like, I’m talking just plain, no visible signs of working out, just flat up and down, basically haha.

I’m not an app user (hookup or dating), as I know plenty who haven’t had good experiences with online love searching and I was just wondering if the muscular folk on here would ever desire an ordinary, unremarkable body, or if your interests lie solely in those who mirror your own physique?

Aside from the obvious (gym), do you have any tips on how to attract muscular guys?

A friend said to me I shouldn’t idolise muscular guys so much as it promotes a kind of toxic masculinity, which made me feel kind of bad and think that I should abort all interest. How do I make eye contact or send signs I’m interested if I think a) a guy is gay and b) my type without inadvertently hitting on a straight guy?

It’s always been the muscular guys I’ve been attracted to online and irl. I’m not averse to other body types, but a nice six pack and big arms is my ideal.

The friend also said that muscular guys are always up themselves and that I should lower my *standards*. I think dedicating time to building a good physique is admirable, but they don’t seem to think so haha!

They also said that I shouldn’t really have a type because that’s not what dating is about nowadays, so I kind of feel in limbo with my attractions.

Thanks for reading guys!

 

[sheerq]

Hi all,

I was just thinking about this, prompted by my uneventful dating life, do (you) muscular gay guys ever feel attracted to slim/skinny gay guys like myself?

I’m not talking twink-like, I’m talking just plain, no visible signs of working out, just flat up and down, basically haha.

I’m not an app user (hookup or dating), as I know plenty who haven’t had good experiences with online love searching and I was just wondering if the muscular folk on here would ever desire an ordinary, unremarkable body, or if your interests lie solely in those who mirror your own physique?

Aside from the obvious (gym), do you have any tips on how to attract muscular guys?

A friend said to me I shouldn’t idolise muscular guys so much as it promotes a kind of toxic masculinity, which made me feel kind of bad and think that I should abort all interest. How do I make eye contact or send signs I’m interested if I think a) a guy is gay and b) my type without inadvertently hitting on a straight guy?

It’s always been the muscular guys I’ve been attracted to online and irl. I’m not averse to other body types, but a nice six pack and big arms is my ideal.

The friend also said that muscular guys are always up themselves and that I should lower my *standards*. I think dedicating time to building a good physique is admirable, but they don’t seem to think so haha!

They also said that I shouldn’t really have a type because that’s not what dating is about nowadays, so I kind of feel in limbo with my attractions.

Thanks for reading guys!

Absolutely, I’d kill for a hung, skinny nerd top.

 

[blondemuscledreamer]

Absolutely, I’d kill for a hung, skinny nerd top.

Interesting! I think on the scene and how gay love is portrayed in the media, it tends to be that like attracts like and nobody tends to venture outside of those boxes.
I very rarely, if ever, see a gay couple where one is buff and muscular and the other is skinny/slim.

 

[Tallbizman]

Skinny, very skinny and even skeletal guys are 1000 times hotter than muscle guys. period!!!!

 

[omitt313]

I LOVE Muscular men...they're not too into me unfortunately

 

[Dickalmighty]

I love slim and skinny guys. I'm a bodybuilder

 

[naruhodo]

OP, do you feel fine with the body you have/wouldn't choose to have more muscle if you could choose your body?

If you're satisfied with your body and don't really want to change it, that's awesome. Being comfortable in your skin and happy with yourself is a huge win and I don't want to take that away from you.

But to be honest about my experience of the world: If you don't do any fitness stuff yourself, I think it's usually very rare to find a guy who is dedicated to bodybuilding who will date or have sex with you, unless you happen to have a giant dick, a Hollywood actor level of handsomeness or you want to get into cross-dressing. So you might want to learn how to become a muscle worshipper if you can get the financial means to pay bodybuilders to fulfill your sexual muscle fantasies. (See: Adventures in Muscle Worship )

But if - in addition to be attracted to muscular guys - you could see yourself enjoying being muscular yourself, why not start taking the first steps towards a fitness and muscle-building journey?

I know there can be a LOT of obstacles to taking those steps - time, know-how, money, diet, motivation, anxiety, depression, etc - but as a skinny guy who has struggled for a LONG time with muscle-building goals, I'm glad I took baby steps over time and kept trying even after failures. Now I've gotten to the point where I've made visible progress and I know I can keep making more.

It can take a good amount of privilege to have the energy and time to figure it out, but there are good free resources out there like Jeff Nippard and Renaissance Periodization on Youtube and you can start with things like push ups and bodyweight squats even before you get access to weightlifting equipment.

But the reason I feel like the long, hard road towards building muscle is worth it is because I was never happy with my skinny body and I feel a lot more comfortable in my skin now that I've built some muscle. So it depends on how you want to see yourself, I suppose.

 

[omitt313]

OP, do you feel fine with the body you have/wouldn't choose to have more muscle if you could choose your body?

If you're satisfied with your body and don't really want to change it, that's awesome. Being comfortable in your skin and happy with yourself is a huge win and I don't want to take that away from you.

But to be honest about my experience of the world: If you don't do any fitness stuff yourself, I think it's usually very rare to find a guy who is dedicated to bodybuilding who will date or have sex with you, unless you happen to have a giant dick, a Hollywood actor level of handsomeness or you want to get into cross-dressing. So you might want to learn how to become a muscle worshipper if you can get the financial means to pay bodybuilders to fulfill your sexual muscle fantasies. (See: Adventures in Muscle Worship )

But if - in addition to be attracted to muscular guys - you could see yourself enjoying being muscular yourself, why not start taking the first steps towards a fitness and muscle-building journey?

I know there can be a LOT of obstacles to taking those steps - time, know-how, money, diet, motivation, anxiety, depression, etc - but as a skinny guy who has struggled for a LONG time with muscle-building goals, I'm glad I took baby steps over time and kept trying even after failures. Now I've gotten to the point where I've made visible progress and I know I can keep making more.

It can take a good amount of privilege to have the energy and time to figure it out, but there are good free resources out there like Jeff Nippard and Renaissance Periodization on Youtube and you can start with things like push ups and bodyweight squats even before you get access to weightlifting equipment.

But the reason I feel like the long, hard road towards building muscle is worth it is because I was never happy with my skinny body and I feel a lot more comfortable in my skin now that I've built some muscle. So it depends on how you want to see yourself, I suppose.

Okay, that is incredibly presumptuous. I know a lot of people who are on the thin side who are either dating muscular guys or regularly sleep with them and dont fit any of those categories you mentioned. Hell, even I have a FWB who is a bodybuilder and Im not a crossdresser and im strictly a bottom. Me and him fuck almost twice week. It sounds to me like you can't really attest to the experiences to someone slimmer because like I said, I know a lot of people who get muscular guys left and right. Even the guy above your post admits to liking thin guys. There are all kinds of preferences.

 

[naruhodo]

Okay, that is incredibly presumptuous. I know a lot of people who are on the thin side who are either dating muscular guys or regularly sleep with them and dont fit any of those categories you mentioned. Hell, even I have a FWB who is a bodybuilder and Im not a crossdresser and im strictly a bottom. Me and him fuck almost twice week. It sounds to me like you can't really attest to the experiences to someone slimmer because like I said, I know a lot of people who get muscular guys left and right. Even the guy above your post admits to liking thin guys. There are all kinds of preferences.

Hey, if you know a lot of cases of muscular guys getting with average-bodied skinny guys, that's awesome. Maybe you live in a place where muscle guys are more common than they are in my area.

There are certainly all kinds of people with all kinds of preferences out there and I'm sure muscular guys who are into skinny guys exist, but I'm not sure how common it is. I still doubt that it's easy for many skinny guys to find this unless the skinny guy is exceptional in some other way.

That being said, my experience is mostly from the apps. Maybe things are different for guys who meet in bars, saunas or sex parties.

Anyway, if someone doesn't want to build muscle that's totally fine. I do find it interesting that you went from

I LOVE Muscular men...they're not too into me unfortunately

to having a bodybuilder FWB twice a week once you heard an answer you didn't like, though...

 

[omitt313]

Hey, if you know a lot of cases of muscular guys getting with average-bodied skinny guys, that's awesome. Maybe you live in a place where muscle guys are more common than they are in my area.

There are certainly all kinds of people with all kinds of preferences out there and I'm sure muscular guys who are into skinny guys exist, but I'm not sure how common it is. I still doubt that it's easy for many skinny guys to find this unless the skinny guy is exceptional in some other way.

That being said, my experience is mostly from the apps. Maybe things are different for guys who meet in bars, saunas or sex parties.

Anyway, if someone doesn't want to build muscle that's totally fine. I do find it interesting that you went from

to having a bodybuilder FWB twice a week once you heard an answer you didn't like, though...

Yes, actually I do live in a pretty small town. So the guys that are muscular or toned aren't too interested in me. I'm not sure how common it is either but I'm pretty sure it's more common than what you're making it out to be especially due to the cases I've seen with my own eyes. I mean yes, men of that body type more often than not do go for types that are similar to their own, but I've been with plenty of guys who have told me they prefer my type to a muscular guy like themselves. Hell, last year, I went to Chicago and met a gorgeous muscular guy and he told me he doesn't like other muscular guys. Shoot, I didn't even message him on Grindr, HE messaged me! (not because I wouldn't have messaged him but because he saw me first). During the summer months, when guys visit the area, I get dick left and right but every other month, it's pretty dry for me.

I don't understand what you're implying by "to having a bodybuilder FWB twice a week once you heard an answer you didn't like, though..."

 

[naruhodo]

I don't understand what you're implying by "to having a bodybuilder FWB twice a week once you heard an answer you didn't like, though..."

It just sounded like you saying muscular men are not too into you contradicts with all these anecdotes of muscular men being into you! Maybe you should give yourself more credit, it sounds like a good amount of muscular men are into you. If other slimmer/average guys have stories like that too then I hope they post them here, I'd be glad to be proven wrong on this one.

I should note that the OP said they're not

twink-like, I’m talking just plain, no visible signs of working out, just flat up and down, basically haha.

So we're not talking about bodybuilders getting with twinks, toned guys or ultra skinny guys.

 

[omitt313]

It just sounded like you saying muscular men are not too into you contradicts with all these anecdotes of muscular men being into you! Maybe you should give yourself more credit, it sounds like a good amount of muscular men are into you. If other slimmer/average guys have stories like that too then I hope they post them here, I'd be glad to be proven wrong on this one.

I should note that the OP said they're not

So we're not talking about bodybuilders getting with twinks, toned guys or ultra skinny guys.

Yeah, they're not generally into me. but that doesn't mean I'm not getting SOMETHING. My comment said "they're not TOO into me" It didn't say anything about me not meeting any muscular guys period. I get "NO" more often than anything, I come to expect. When I message someone on Grindr, I try to forget I message them because I'll either get ignored or blocked but that's not everybody. I think it's mainly because I'm a black twink. I got White twink friends who always getting dick muscular guys WAY more often than I do. White twinks (and Asian) twinks are the apex.

I'm just saying you don't strike me as someone who has ever been a twink so you're perspective seems very narrow. Not all muscular guys want a muscular guy

 

[blondemuscledreamer]

Thank you both for replying, I really didn’t want to ignite any conflict between any members, so sorry about that!
@naruhodo thank you for your input regarding your experiences. I’d say my attraction towards muscular guys has been what seems like forever. Whether that’s because from childhood through teenage years to adulthood you are subliminally taught to view muscular men as more attractive, I don’t know, that’s a question for my subconscious haha.
Also, I think being gay means that you *generally speaking* idolise masculinity and if you aren’t overtly masculine (like myself), you often crave what you aren’t, sexually and emotionally.
Admittedly and maybe regretfully , I think porn is a huge contributor to how as a gay man, you discover your sexuality. And, in general, all the men are glistening and full of six-pack abs that more or less guarantee an erection.
Not all of us have been afforded a Heartstopper (never seen it, just guessing its premise) style secondary school romance and sex/love/intimacy/romance is significantly harder to come by than it is for our straight peers.
In terms of my body, I’ve finally accepted that I’m happy with how it is. I keep fit in other ways and whilst I’m not focused on building muscle, I’m more about keeping myself healthy and able, rather than for an aesthetic viewpoint. Life circumstances aren’t currently easy and dedicating time to getting an Instagram body just isn’t feasible.
I think part of it is wanting to fulfil a fantasy/sexual experience and the other part is wanting a relationship. I don’t know, my mind and life are complex haha.

@omitt313 Thanks for sharing your experiences as a slimmer guy, it gives me hope haha!
I think as a slimmer guy in the gay community, you feel like you’re meant to have twink certification like Troye Sivan or Timothée Chalamet in order to be seen as desirable and if you’re just more regular like myself, you tend to feel more invisible.
Hopefully that will change haha.

 

[omitt313]

Thank you both for replying, I really didn’t want to ignite any conflict between any members, so sorry about that!
@naruhodo thank you for your input regarding your experiences. I’d say my attraction towards muscular guys has been what seems like forever. Whether that’s because from childhood through teenage years to adulthood you are subliminally taught to view muscular men as more attractive, I don’t know, that’s a question for my subconscious haha.
Also, I think being gay means that you *generally speaking* idolise masculinity and if you aren’t overtly masculine (like myself), you often crave what you aren’t, sexually and emotionally.
Admittedly and maybe regretfully , I think porn is a huge contributor to how as a gay man, you discover your sexuality. And, in general, all the men are glistening and full of six-pack abs that more or less guarantee an erection.
Not all of us have been afforded a Heartstopper (never seen it, just guessing its premise) style secondary school romance and sex/love/intimacy/romance is significantly harder to come by than it is for our straight peers.
In terms of my body, I’ve finally accepted that I’m happy with how it is. I keep fit in other ways and whilst I’m not focused on building muscle, I’m more about keeping myself healthy and able, rather than for an aesthetic viewpoint. Life circumstances aren’t currently easy and dedicating time to getting an Instagram body just isn’t feasible.
I think part of it is wanting to fulfil a fantasy/sexual experience and the other part is wanting a relationship. I don’t know, my mind and life are complex haha.

@omitt313 Thanks for sharing your experiences as a slimmer guy, it gives me hope haha!
I think as a slimmer guy in the gay community, you feel like you’re meant to have twink certification like Troye Sivan or Timothée Chalamet in order to be seen as desirable and if you’re just more regular like myself, you tend to feel more invisible.
Hopefully that will change haha.

It might be hard to find but I guarantee you that someone is out there who is your type and who also finds you their type, trust me....I've met quite a few. Not a lot, but I've definitely met them. You just gotta get out and look for them.

 

[blondemuscledreamer]

It might be hard to find but I guarantee you that someone is out there who is your type and who also finds you their type, trust me....I've met quite a few. Not a lot, but I've definitely met them. You just gotta get out and look for them.

Thank you so much I’m not an app/online dating user, which seems to be the only route most people recommend these days.
I meet lots of different people in my work/social life, but no luck so far! Any tips from yourself on how to attract these guys?

 

[omitt313]

I highly recommend apps. Tinder, Grindr, Jack'd, etc. Actually, just as I was typing this a muscular guy in California messaged me and he is CRAZY hot! but you're gonna get a lot of nos but don't let that discourage you

 

[blondemuscledreamer]

I highly recommend apps. Tinder, Grindr, Jack'd, etc. Actually, just as I was typing this a muscular guy in California messaged me and he is CRAZY hot! but you're gonna get a lot of nos but don't let that discourage you

Thanks! Good luck!

 

[omitt313]

Thanks! Good luck!

Strike that, it was a catfish. That happens a lot too

 

[blondemuscledreamer]

Strike that, it was a catfish. That happens a lot too

Ahh that’s not good. Fingers crossed for next time

 

[omitt313]

Ahh that’s not good. Fingers crossed for next time

But you should get out there. I'm gonna be frank, I've never met anyone outside of the apps. You're more seen there. That's just me tho. If you want a change, you gotta make a change.