Discovering Your Deepest Desires

bigcockluver2

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Chapter 1: Discovery and Giving in to Your Deepest Desires and Needs

The first day of anything is always a mixture of unchecked excitement, nervous anticipation, a smattering of fear, and with a dash of sheer horror. That delightfully odd mix of emotions, the one that gives you butterflies while making you want to throw up, makes you want to simultaneously pray for the whole thing to be canceled and for it to start as soon as possible just to have certainty. As a young adult, you begin to learn that you can feel multiple things at the same time and that you are not crazy. As you get older, it affects you less. No matter how old I get, I still feel Iike a hormonally imbalanced teenager on the first day of anything.

The first day of rowing camp for adults is a lot like rowing camp for the younger folks in high school and college. People getting together meeting each other for the first time, old friends reuniting, comparing recent racing experiences, and sharing in the small talk and personal revelations that help spark new friendships and sometimes more. The main difference is the sense of comfort that comes with a bit of age and life experience. You aren’t as worried about what your revelations might mean for your social status or much else for that matter. Most of us are also much more adept at filtering out the noise in group dynamics, sizing up the crowd, and zeroing in on certain people that might be potential friends.

This camp started exactly as expected. Say hi to old friends, shake hands with new people, and scope the crowd for the interesting ones. The first few minutes of the first day were uneventful and it seemed there might not be anything “interesting” in the crowd. That might have been disappointing but the scene changed soon thereafter. After dropping my bag and sorting a bit, I looked up to see a very interesting, tall lad who had just joined the crowd. He was standing nearly alone on the edge of the group. He was pretty much ready to go - hat, uni with the top rolled down to the waist, water bottle, socks for the boat. He looked serious, but not too terribly full of himself. He was stretching a bit and saying hello to various people who came by, but not engaging deeply. There was nothing particularly outstanding about him, but I caught myself watching him for what seemed like an eternity. Then I realized I was actually staring a bit and snapped myself back to reality. So after a potentially disappointing start, I found someone interesting in the crowd.

Getting to know someone isn’t really that hard because that comes after the potentially awkward first hello and introduction. Can you be smooth or do you go all chatty or utterly hystThomasal? Assuming the other party engages and doesn’t think you are crazy, you can quickly make small talk and explore. Standing outside the boathouse, my interesting person seemed like 100 miles away. I started my way toward him to say hello. I was experiencing the dash of horror which I do in most introductions. I came up beside him at the edge of the group and just stuck out my hand, “Hi. I’m James. Looks like a hot, humid day for a row.” He reached out, put his hand in mine and said, “I’m Thomas. It’s going to brutal out there.” Then there was a moment of silence as I combined and processed the sensory inputs. He is a half a head taller than me with a trim build and tatoos on both arms. For a rower, he had soft hands and they sort of swallowed mine. His voice was deep and confident yet gentle. Dark green eyes and a kind, young handsome face greeted me. As we exchanged these first few words, he took off his hat to seemingly show off his floppy black hair which was wet from sweating. That was a stunning moment, but there was no pretense, nothing made up, no gimmicks, just a simple warm hello. The whole experience left me completely disarmed and momentarily speechless. This was going to be an excellent weekend and best of all I was past hello.

As we sorted ourselves out, it turned out he was in my boat for the day and I secretly hoped for the weekend. Not only were we in the same boat, but he would be behind me. Rowing is a fairly intimate sport where your teammates are mere inches away from you while in the boat. As we got the boat down, we chatted a bit more, but I kept it fairly quiet. Out on the water, I was quiet for a while and then started cracking jokes here and there that he laughed at and reciprocated with his own. We got on well the whole day. As the day went on, I checked in on him to be sure he was okay in the heat and humidity.

After practice, we all parted ways for our hotels. Dinner would be later that evening, but everyone needed to freshen up and cool down. I could not wait to see him at dinner. I arrived early and met up with friends to toast to a good opening day. A short while later, Thomas arrived all cleaned up, floppy black hair and all. He wore black jeans and a well fitted black shirt. He probably could pull off any outfit, but this worked so well with his personality and laid back demeanor. We got to know each other quickly and talked about our jobs and our families. All the while, his leg kept touching mine under the table. Our discussions were inclusive of others at the table, but when our eyes met there might as well have only been two of us.

We finished dinner and the group was splitting up. As we walked out, he held the door open for me and we started walking towards our cars. I stopped and said goodnight, just as friends would, but we lingered a bit longer. The silence was clearly two people subtly thinking about what was, what might be, and what could happen next. Before I said a word he stepped a half a step closer to me, “do you want to grab another beer?”

“Sure, but we have to get up early,” I jokingly reminded him. “Let’s just grab one at the hotel.”

He smiled subtly and took in a deep breath and stretched a bit extending his long arms skyward, “you’re right. We should call it a night. Long day tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Understood.” I typically don’t press in these situations and just accepted that was probably best albeit disappointing. I don’t think I was hiding my disppointment either. He began to laugh. “I’m kidding. Let’s go. See you in the hotel bar in 10?”

I was so relieved and realized I’d given myself up. He had tested me and seen right through me. I now had no room to maneuver. It was a moment of relief followed by the dash of horror.

Back at the hotel, I went right to the bar. Thomas wasn’t there yet. Turns out he got back a bit faster as I cannot work the navigation on my phone. He walked into the bar having changed into shorts. I had to catch my breathe on seeing him.

“It’s still too warm outside and just need to be comfortable.” He smiled and joined me at the bar. Now we were just two guys sitting at the bar side by side and there were few others around. I bought us a round and we picked up our conversations from dinner though this time Thomas was sitting right next to me. I could feel his presence and something about him smelled so incredibly amazing. We worked through our first round and he bought a second. We had the best time chatting and covered a broad range of topics from rowing to work to music to our life experiences. Before we knew it, 2 hours had flown by. We both knew we had to get to bed or tomorrow would be rough.

“I’m headed up. This was the perfect evening. Thank you, brother,” I said putting my hand on his shoulder. I was trying to wrest some element of control back and sustain some shred of mystery. It wouldn’t last, of course.

“Ya know I had no idea what to expect.” Thomas looked at me and gave me that subtle smile which I was quickly learning was more of a sly grin.

I laughed a bit. “About what? The camp? The beer?”

“About you.” He said on quick reply and with a degree of seriousness as if he had just completed an assessment and I was going to be debriefed.

“Uh oh.” Again, I lost my leverage and was quickly read like a book with very large print. I was worried right off and my face was providing absolutely clarity on how I was on the verge of being potentially crushed.

“I saw you when I got to the boathouse and figured there’d be no way we’d connect. You looked so serious and honestly I wasn’t sure if you were friendly or not. I obviously know that’s not true now, but I have to say you are intimidating as hell. I saw you looking at me and figured there might be hope.” The assessment was delivered. I’ve heard this before and it always pains me when people pick me up this way.

“Oh wow. Yes. I’ve heard that before. Umm…thank you?” I laughed somewhat nervously. “No really thank you for not giving up. I try to smile and…wait…you saw me looking at you and thought there might be hope?”

“Yeah. I figured you’d noticed me so that must be some kind of sign but didn’t know until you came over and said hi that it’d be friendly.” He played back his perspective of my staring at him. I felt slightly odd and vaguely creepy at this point.

“Noticed? Well, yes. You are kind of hard to miss.” I gave up more than I wanted to there, but it felt good to get it off my chest. Now I had to see what he said in return. These tortures moments drive me nuts but they are fun in a way.

“Oh?” He looked at me with the sly smile again. “What do you like?”

“Who said I liked anything?” I desperately tried to reclaim control of the narrative.

“Come on! Too late.” He said laughinglg and moved closer to me. I could feel his presence as he got closer - warmth, confidence, and intensity. It was intoxicating. “You asked what I put on my tattoos to keep them from fading and then talked about how you thought they were cool. Remember that?”

“Oh. Yes. Well…I did say that didn’t I?” I said sheepishly.

“You did!” He declared. “And then I took off my hat…”. He kept going and I cut him off. “Okay! Stop. Stop. You win. You’re reading me like a silly book.” I sighed as a laughed and let my guard go.

He reached over and put his hand on mine. It was warm and reassuring. “Shouldn’t we get to bed,” he asked?

“Yes. We need sleep.” I said with resolution.

“What room are you in,” he asked?

I giggled a little. His hand still on mine, I asked him, “you have a room you big goof. Besides I just have a king in mine.”

“You are really dense.” He looked at me as if I had two heads.

“Why do you say that?”

“I am at another hotel.” He confirmed what I thought was the case since I had not seen him at this hotel.

“Well you shouldn’t drink and drive. I feel obligated to let you stay in my room…on the couch.” I smiled and started to get up.

“Big spoon or little?” He doesn’t waste time asking me how we’ll eventually be cuddling in the bed.

“Depends on the day, but right now I would say little.” I just smiled and kept walking. He picked up the pace behind me.

“Really!?!” We both arrived at the elevator and mercifully it was already there with the doors open.

“Yeah ya big goof. Problem with with?” We got it in the elevator and Thomas was standing very close to me. At this point he was in control or at least I wanted him to be. Before I knew it had maneuvered his ways behind me and put his arms around me pulling me in close to his body. He was so warm and I could feel his check and hips pressing into me. I felt so comfortable, safe, and completely disarmed. I could have stayed here for an eternity.

“How about this? Is this okay? Do you like how this feels little spoon?” He asked quietly in my ear with his warm breath moving softly over my ear. He was owning me.

“Perfect.” I sighed now giving in to his embrace fully. That was all I could say.

We got to the room and walked in. Before I could even get the lights on, he was taking off his shirt. I looked at him and his body and the obvious bulge now showing in between his long strong legs. I paused for a moment as I took the sight of him in. I trembled a bit but regained a bit of confidence.

“Ya know, Thomas, we’ve gotta sleep or we’ll get kicked out of the boat tomorrow.” I was partially protesting and partially worried we were going too far after just meeting. Also I desperately wanted this.

“Come on little spoon.” He used the words in a way that convey a sense of command and ownership. I liked it. It turned me on. I wanted him close to me. It exposed my vulnerability and I was okay with it. He continued, “I think we’re both big boys. We can handle ourselves.” He was right about being big and the comment made me quiver in anticipation though I wasn’t sure how or if I could the challenge of his size.

As he continued to strip down, he left little to the imagination. To say he was hung is an understatement and I am not even sure he was fully erect. He just smiled as he performed a mini striptease for his private audience of one. My mouth just went dry and my own loins were stirring. He walked over to me and began to take my clothes off. He was gentle and slow enjoying each small revelation of my body. Eventually we stood chest to chest only in our underwear. Next our lips came to meet and we settled into a deep passionate kiss, tongue intertwined. He stopped and asked, “are you okay?” I was trembling in his presence.

“Yeah”. I said softly and not really having much more to offer. I was in a trance, completely under his spell. His next words would take me away with no hope of getting back to being in control. It is what he wanted and what he needed and so did I. I needed him. The emotion was raw and essential. The resulting act would be the first and not the last.

“From the minute you said, hi, I wanted to be inside you.” He said in a low, soft voice. “Your eyes are so beautiful.” He pulled me back in by the waist and grabbed my ass with his large hands. “This has been calling my name all day.” His confidence and the clarity of his desire was intoxicating. My inhibitions were gone, but we needed to stretch this out a bit. Hell, I needed to stretch to prepare for him. Not sure I could execute.

“As I watch you arrive today, my heart skipped a beat. Now, who says I am a bottom?” I quickly moved to humor. This was my last attempt to disarm him.

“Oh I don’t know. I think that ass tells me everything I need to know about what you like and your reaction to me in my underwear is another big clue. Tell me I am wrong. Better yet, tell me what you want.” This was so assertive and confident. It didn’t quite fit the gentle personality from a few hours ago, but it was sexy as hell. I wanted him to keep up that sexual pressure. My whole body was feeling the anticipation and eventual release that at this point only he could provide. It was sheer, sweet torture.

“I am more than a nice piece of ass.” I scolded him playfully and kept up the act.

“Oh I have no doubt. Now tell me what you want!” He allowed my sass and countered with assertiveness. He pulled me back in and turned me around so his body was pressed against mine and his bulge was nestled up against my butt. He pulled down his underwear and pulled mine down exposing my bare ass. He wanted me to feel his throbbing, drooling manhood and clarify his intentions.

I had nothing left to keep me from falling under his spell. I tried. I needed to maintain my confidence and my own sense of masculinity, but it no longer seemed to matter. Thomas and I were connecting in a way that was so deep that those notions didn’t mattered. It was now about what I needed from this sexual God. “I love to be filled…deeply.” I couldn’t resist any longer and I felt myself submitting at the deepest emotional level.

“Uh huh. Filled with what?” He was pressing hard against me and wanting me more and more. I could tell he was preparing to breed me.

“With that…”. I could feel him pulling my pants and underwear down. His boxer briefs had a huge wet spot on the front.

“What is that?”

“That monster straining to get out. It needs release. All that cum built up.”

“Yeah? Where do you want that?”

“In me…deep.”

“So you want this stud rower to breed you?” He said with some excitement.

“More than I can describe.”

“Does that mean I own this amazing ass after I fill it with my baby batter?” He was now clearly in control and was going to get what we both wanted. At that point his 9” cock was pissing precum all over my ass and it was dripping down between my cheeks. He kept going, “I wondered if you were into breeding. With an ass like that and those legs…mmmm…it’s 100% what I live for. I love filling my stud up and as often as he wants. I cum in buckets.” The precum was now dripping down the back of my legs. “Do you want me to breed you now or do you want to wait?”

“I don’t think I can wait.” I was breathing deeply as his hands were all over my chest.

“Good because I have been saving up and I don’t think I can wait a minute longer to fill you, but I want you to feel all 9 inches of me. Can you take it? Can I go all the way? I need to deliver this deeply inside you.”

The next moments of our deep connection were truly electric and every part of my body was feeling the intensity of his drive and commitment to filling me. He would plow into me and ask how it felt delighting in my pleasure and thereby ensuring his own. 9 inches of manhood provide ample length to reach the innermost ring of a male partner creating pleasure that only comes in these rare instances of penetrations. He knew where he was going and that to own me, he needed to delve deep. I could feel his sexual heat and as he pressed into me I could feel the deep exploration. He knew his seed must be planted deep to not ooze out. It is exactly what I needed from a mate. Most men never get to feel this. He wasn’t just trying to have an orgasm, he was on a mission - one focused on our mutual pleasure and releasing his seed deep inside of me. It wasn’t simply a kink. It was a connection we were developing in a raw and animalistic way. We were creating what would become a lasting connection that neither of us could resist.

As we rocked deeply back and forth and as his hips pushed his warm manly length into me over and over his precum kept me moist and fluid. He was a man and meant for man breeding. He was intent. He kept telling me how much he wanted me to have his seed. He wanted me to feel it filling me and for it to stay inside. He said he’d never wanted this more and declared that I’d never need anything more. I asked if he’d let me drink his cum at some point. He said he wanted to be sure I felt filled in every way. I looked forward to milking him as he straddled my faced. That drove him over the edge and he started pressing even harder into me which I welcomed. I was his bitch at this point. Panting and begging for his seed to fill me. I could feel his cock grow longer if that was possible. His chest began heaving and he started to sweat. He was getting close to breeding me. He asked if I was ready. “Do you want this huge load inside you? Are you ready to be mine forever because this is going so deep?” I just pressed my hips toward his and asked him, “please make me yours forever and breed me!” At the same time, I lost all control and started spraying cum all over the place as if I hadn’t cummed in weeks and I felt him commit copious loads to me insides wave after wave. It must have been a half dozen pressure waves and I felt each surge of his seed cumming from his 9 inch cock and becoming part of me deeply beyond the inner most ring. It wa a level of satisfaction rarely felt.
 

Brian74

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I loved the premise and your vivid conveyances of the main character’s quick-changing thoughts and emotions.

Nice work bud.
 
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