The Ho ho ho season can be a little boring.

Time for some piracy!

Suggestions?!

Not_Punny

I had two older siblings, but it was me and my little brother who were inseparable.

We would spend hours hunting through rubbish dumps looking for spare parts for the space ship that we were building. He collected ancient Mad magazines, which we read over and over until the pages were worn thin by our laughter. We devised our own cartoons and had art competitions. (He drew better, but mine were funnier.)

He taught me how to shoot and gave me my first and only gun....

Not_Punny

Three nights ago, I announced joyously to my children, "I'm done!"

Then I retreated to my room and spent the next 24 hours in a state of almost perpetual tears.

No one was dead, and I hadn't suffered a mental breakdown.

I had merely finished a project -- a book series -- that had consumed three and a half years of my life.

Every little piece of me that could think, move or laugh was inside those books; living and breathing, and now marching...

Not_Punny

Everybody grows up, right?

Not me.

I grew down.

As a baby, I floated through the air with the greatest of ease. But with every passing year, the ground got closer... closer... and closer still.

Eventually, somewhere in my teenage years, my feet touched the ground for the very first time.

And with that contact, my childhood departed, along with several deeply held beliefs: that people on TV could see me, that animals could talk, and...

Not_Punny