I should reiterate with each of these posts - they are satirical pieces written by Chris Morris for a UK newspaper a few years ago.I doubt many people outside the UK have ever seen them and they deserve a wider readership so I thought this would be a good place to put them.
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Time to go.
`There was a touching card from Harold Pinter, and Julie Burchill had sent me next year's diary (ho ho)'

Sunday

...

Yorkie

So, i'm looking for a way to increase my sexual stamina without paying for HIGHLY expensive pills, pumps, herbs that don't work, etc. Something that can be bought at a drug store or vitimin shop. That's it....simple question. if anyone knows....and it REALLY WORKS...please feel free to answer back....BUT ONLY IF YOUR SERIOUS.....KEEP YOUR JOKES AND BULLSHIT TO YOURSELF!

THANKS

adophius

I wrote another "poem" please tell me what you think.

It must be nice to be wanted....
It would be nice to feel that warm and fuzzy feeling inside where you know
That someone wants you
Someone that gives you the time of day
A loving voice that says hi once every so often
It must be nice to have someone want to be happy with you
Unfortunately i spend most of my days alone wandering through my brain
Waiting for someone
Anyone to...

Smooth88