Things are still very quiet around the house. There is little talk about what has gone on. I've looked into a couple of avenues for getting myself out of here.

And it's funny. Somewhere in the back of my mind, reconciliation remain a possibility despite my overall assessment.

I'm getting very aggravated about being jerked around by these staffing companies. Either you've got me a job or you've not. There is very little grey area.

Kimahri

I'm so used to having negative emotions when things like this come up, I find myself feeling anxious. No arguments have ensued. The bf....how much longer will he be that? Anyway, he's not had a whole lot to say to me. He told me this morning before he left for work that he really did love me and stuff. And ya know...I believe that. That wasn't the problem.

Lord knows when I was younger, if I could get a guy into bed, I did it. I never did it in a relationship. Kinda disrespectful....

Kimahri

Well, there hasn't been a lot of posting here. Though there's been a lot going on. Nothing all that interesting except for what I discovered this morning. See, I'm not sure if he succeeded or not, but I found 9 emails over the course of the last 28 days where my bf has been trying to solicit sex from these guys that are on the site with him. In fact, the last message was a mere 20 hours ago.

Everyone keeps telling me that I'm mad. I'm not mad. I was very cordial to the bf when...

Kimahri

Are my wants that alien to other guys? None of the guys I've dated have understood. Many of the guys I've encountered don't understand. The only guys I've found that understand are the ones from my fraternity or Lacrosse team. Wouldn't the world be a better place if guys were able to have close ties and feelings for other guys? Not talking about the sexual aspect. Ever had a good hug from a close buddy? There is nothing like it. The day Matt and I fell asleep on the same bed, that was awesome....

Kimahri

I wish I'd never had any success in picking guys up in "straight" bars. Maybe if I'd gotten my ass kicked or something I wouldn't keep flirting with these guys that I think are straight. I'm not trying to sleep with them. I just flirt very heavily with them. I guess I got somewhere with these guys because I'm not that much different from them. I was a Lacrosse player, I'm in a fraternity, I'm masculine, I love to drink, I love to horse around and other stuff. I'm not what they expect...

Kimahri