In the spring of 1984 I was sound asleep in my dorm room in Millbrook, NY early one morning when I found myself being shaken violently and shouting at my deceased uncle to stop it. I awoke absolutely terrified from my dream but to my horror, the bed hadn't stopped shaking. It was shaking and hard, squeaking loudly.

Immediately thoughts of The Exorcist flew through my brain and I jumped out of bed and ran into the hall of my dorm where other sleepy and half-naked boys were standing in...

jason_els

Shrink Day!

My shrink, Don, is in the city. For me to get there, I have to leave the house at 9:30 for an appointment at 12:30. Then I have to come home, with luck, before traffic gets bad. It's a lot of work and costly. Gas is about $20. Parking is around $36 just for two hours. The worst part is he's on 56th between Fifth and Sixth. Right in the heart of midtown and the traffic on 56th is just unbelievable. Last week when I drove in the guy behind me got out of his car and started...

jason_els

Something that should have clued me in to what was happening was my waistline. It was right after I got back from (eep) Vermont (which is NOT a bathhouse) that I realized I was hiking up my jeans nearly constantly. Walking the dogs, standing up from the couch, just doing anything, I was hiking-up my pants.

This disturbed me quite a lot because I was just on the verge of having to shop at The Big & Tall stores. Finding anything in my size was difficult as it is so moving-up a size...

jason_els

The drive up to Troy takes two hours in good traffic. That was what I needed. I loaded the iPod with some good tunes but I didn't listen to them at all. I found listening to Rush Windbag much easier as it kept my mind occupied. I bothered to dress well , shaved, got cleaned-up. There's a visceral feeling you get when you're going someplace where you know you'll get sex. You feel better yourself, like you know a secret that nobody else does. You pass cars wondering if they can tell. It...

jason_els

My nephew, Sam, had kept me very busy in Vermont. I suppose every mother is mercenary when it comes to good childcare so Abbie had me watch Sam while she tackled some outstanding chores and caught up on her work backlog. Sam's three and a lot of fun. His vocabulary is amazing for a child his age so speaking to him isn't necessarily simple. He has a fascination with keys and cars, always demanding people give him their keys after which he drills them over what each single key is for. Then he'll try...

jason_els