Just did the most obvious math ever. 1+1=2.

The question about How did porn come into your life? just sparked the most obvious association I've never made before. I know I was molested as a child but I don't know who did it. I remember hands, acts, body parts, but no faces. Now I may have the scariest link of all and the implications are very, very, frightening to me. I can't believe I never thought of the porn I found as a possible link to who did those things to me. I'm so fucking...

jason_els

‘There has to be more than this. There just must be. If I’m going to be open and self-accepting, then I have to push ahead, take risks, like Earl said.’ My need for change had become so immediate, so intense, that I didn’t quite know what to do with it. Between a few hook-ups and the bathhouse, I was left wondering what to do next?

About a billion years ago I had seen HBO’s Real Sex and remembered they did a segment on some men’s group that focused on positive touch in a male environment....

jason_els

My last foray into the world of the bathhouse had gone well but not as well as I had wanted. Leaving with a full load was just not why I had gone there.

So I decided to try it again two weeks later.

This time I didn't pop any Cialis and instead just let things take their course. This time the baths had many more guys and I was quite pleased with the pickings. Now that I was an old pro I figured something had to go right. I bandied about for two hours, cruising around the...

jason_els

In the spring of 1984 I was sound asleep in my dorm room in Millbrook, NY early one morning when I found myself being shaken violently and shouting at my deceased uncle to stop it. I awoke absolutely terrified from my dream but to my horror, the bed hadn't stopped shaking. It was shaking and hard, squeaking loudly.

Immediately thoughts of The Exorcist flew through my brain and I jumped out of bed and ran into the hall of my dorm where other sleepy and half-naked boys were standing in...

jason_els

Shrink Day!

My shrink, Don, is in the city. For me to get there, I have to leave the house at 9:30 for an appointment at 12:30. Then I have to come home, with luck, before traffic gets bad. It's a lot of work and costly. Gas is about $20. Parking is around $36 just for two hours. The worst part is he's on 56th between Fifth and Sixth. Right in the heart of midtown and the traffic on 56th is just unbelievable. Last week when I drove in the guy behind me got out of his car and started...

jason_els