Nostalgia, it's a bitch.
Posted 01-03-2008 at 08:17 PM by bobabooey69
My first blog post...here goes:
There once was this girl...
We were together for two years, they were amazing, she was brilliant, funny, warmhearted and amazing in bed. She was the first woman
that made me think about marriage and kids, but things did not work out and our breakup unfortunately was not very amicable, and we stayed out of contact for almost a decade.
Like they say, "everyone is on myspace". And lo and behold I found out so was she, looking at her pictures she hasn't aged a day. After much debate I sent her a message saying hello, and asked her how she has been, she replied within hours.
I found out she is a nurse and is married now, and I felt good for her that she was happy. We exchanged pleasantries, her great sense of humor still there...but the last email I received surprised me.
"Why did things go the way they did? I always loved you, I always have..even now."
My stomache dropped, and I feel like I have opened Pandora's box. Granted, I would not be in this situation if I had not sent her that message, but I would not dream of interrupting a marriage ( not to mention she lives across the country).
My question is, what do I do now? She sent the message around Xmas, so I had the holiday rush to stall, but I don't want to leave her hanging.
I can be such a boner sometimes.
There once was this girl...
We were together for two years, they were amazing, she was brilliant, funny, warmhearted and amazing in bed. She was the first woman
that made me think about marriage and kids, but things did not work out and our breakup unfortunately was not very amicable, and we stayed out of contact for almost a decade.
Like they say, "everyone is on myspace". And lo and behold I found out so was she, looking at her pictures she hasn't aged a day. After much debate I sent her a message saying hello, and asked her how she has been, she replied within hours.
I found out she is a nurse and is married now, and I felt good for her that she was happy. We exchanged pleasantries, her great sense of humor still there...but the last email I received surprised me.
"Why did things go the way they did? I always loved you, I always have..even now."
My stomache dropped, and I feel like I have opened Pandora's box. Granted, I would not be in this situation if I had not sent her that message, but I would not dream of interrupting a marriage ( not to mention she lives across the country).
My question is, what do I do now? She sent the message around Xmas, so I had the holiday rush to stall, but I don't want to leave her hanging.
I can be such a boner sometimes.
Total Comments 9
Comments
 |  Just tell her that's how life happened to work out for you two. You aren't going to potentially break up a marriage just because she said she still loves you.. |
  |
| |  I wouldn't necessarily read a ton into this, though her comment on still loving you is very leading. For example, if I were to talk to my high school gf,I would likely tell her something similar. I loved her (well, as much as any high school boy can love) and I still love her, though I wouldn't mess up my marriage or endanger hers by having an affair. If I were you I would tell her pretty much what you just said here. Admit that she still touches your heart, but you are glad she is happy now with her marriage and her career. Admit that she was the first woman that you ever considered settling down with. (Women love knowing they have touched a man's heart.) If you want to add some little hint that you are sort of still interested (if you are at all, that is), that is your business, but I would keep it vague and let her take the first step since she is the one who is married, and I don't think you want that on your conscience. |
| |
| |  "You also have a very special place in my heart. Your husband is a very lucky man." Just a suggestion. |
 |
| |  You split up for a reason, whatever that reason was it's still there. She's now married and probably perfectly content in her marriage, but it's always nice to think of 'what might have been.' For the sake of her marriage let the past be the past. |
| |
| |  Maybe I am reading too much into this. I would be lying if I said that she didn't stay in a special corner of my heart, but I would not dream of rekindling our romance, even if she were single. The reason being that she was the cause of our breakup 10 years ago...because get this:...she said she was still in love with her ex! And was seeing him behind my back. Isn't that ironic!? Oh the guy she married was not her ex by the way. |
| Updated 01-03-2008 at 09:01 PM by bobabooey69 |
| |  Wow. Very ironic. IMO, you're lucky to be off the hook. Let her have her dream, but realize that she is a great person, but needs to work on "flakiness" -- when you're thinking about marriage and kids, the last person you need is a flake. |
| |
| | Yeah well, I said she was great, but not perfect. She was very impulsive and flighty...it made her a fun girlfriend ( especially that one time in the park!) But I agree just leave things were they are and diffuse the situation with mutual compliments. I am writing the reply to her now...wish me luck! |
| |
| | Good luck :) |
| |
| |  You gotta stick to your guns. I've been in both your shoes, hers more recently. With you being single, don't let on that you may be looking for love. Keep things on a strict friends level. It also helps that she is far away. Don't plan any visits until you are sure you two are strictly friends. I think everyone else has had excellent insight. Just remember to take care of YOU! Keep moving forward, yet try not to completely lose sight of the past. Finding out you are moving forward in a circle is a very bad realization. |
| |
Recent Blog Entries by bobabooey69
- Who wants to be my Photoshop model? (01-25-2008)
- Nostalgia, it's a bitch. (01-03-2008)
