As things quieted down I lay sprawled on the floor, gasping and giggling, covered in my own jism, for a handful of minutes, totally idle and relieved. Until. Until I realized that, astonishingly, my dick hadn’t even started to get soft.

I jumped up from the floor, laughing like mad pirate, and struck the same pose Joe had two nights before, my hands casually on my hips. The comparison didn’t do Joe any favors: I was a divinity of sex. Visions flashed into my head of women: women doing anything I wanted, passing out under my pole, paying for the privilege of pleasuring me, lining up to suck me off. “Hell,” I said, “I could probably suck myself off.”

The words in the quiet tiled room made it obvious that I would do so. I frantically grabbed some more lotion and sat down on the toilet, wrapping one hand around my shaft and grabbing my right nut in the other because it just felt right. I leaned over partway and addressed the single enormous eye of my purplish quivering new best friend. “Penis,” I said calmly, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

It took so little effort to get my dick in my own mouth it seemed I had been built for it. Despite the enormity of my head my jaw seemed to expand around it and the next thing I knew I was about four inches down. I hummed in astonishment and then screamed in pleasure from how good the hum felt and then screamed again from how good the scream felt. My hand started to work my exposed shaft as I started to bob up and down on the top four inches, and I had presence of mind to realize that the part of my dick I couldn’t suck was larger than Joe’s could boast, “Fifth” and all. I laughed even as my tongue found the ridge of skin below the head and I screamed again and then screamed about the scream…

This went on for about ten minutes until the orgasm-train roared down my spine again. As I lost bodily control I faced a critical decision about swallowing or not swallowing my load, and chickened out at the last second, sitting up and grabbing my head to repeat the pleasure of the last occasion.

The few seconds of this change, and of the exposure of my hot wet shaft to the cold air, brought my hips off the toilet in one violent buck where they froze. I stared, goggle-eyed, at my schlong as it swelled incredibly even larger and then began to spit it’s cannonades of cum all over my shower door, thickly covering the expanse of glass in white juice.

I collapsed back to the toilet, my head lolling, and then did it again.

I was seeing spots when my peter finally began to soften after the next and final orgasm and I lay weakly on the ground, recovering. Finally, when I felt completely soft, I wobbled to my feet to measure it again. This brought my energy back in a wave as I stared disbelievingly at my flaccid cock lying with it’s tip at the eight and one-quarter mark. “My noodle-soft cock,” I whispered, “is longer than that fucker Joe’s blazing erection.”

This brought back to my mind the ordeal facing me the next day at team-building. Now, of course, I realized that nothing could possibly be more exciting. I stood, gazing at my bronzed muscles in the mirror, my taut pecs and my pebble-like nipples and my rippling eight-pack abs and my finely muscled thighs and calves, and stared worshipfully at the thunderous vision of sex hanging between my legs: my giant dick and my huge balls, capable of three orgasms in an hour.

I had visions of the life that was to be: of orgies, and circle-jerks, and banging legions of girls at once, and mastery over men and women. I couldn’t wait, especially to walk into that locker room for the first time and pull off my shorts.

Thinking all these things, I realized that I was actually getting hard again. I looked in the mirror at my shaft beginning to stretch out down my leg and shrugged. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, I thought, and screamed in absolute joy. I grabbed the lotion yet again and settled down on the toilet. As I bent for another swallow of my immense and glorious penis, I paused again, looking challengingly at my slit, and said, “This time, motherfucker, I’m swallowing.”