? About Initial Penetration

Issue with an ex that has been bugging me so I'm hoping to find out the meaning behind it.

When I asked her how she liked it she said she was used to being thrown on the bed with 3 minutes of just slamming which was cool with me, so thats what we would try to do. But I like going for more than 3 minutes ( if I can that day ).

Heres where it got weird when I would pull out to replace the condom she would never let me back in, but if I initially lasted for 10,20,30,40 minutes she would never say a thing and seemed to enjoy it. After months of me nagging her and her giving BS excuses she finally gave a serious answer( I thought it was ) that my penis hurts her. I know she would always hold me back from slamming even though she said thats what she liked.

I'm clueless with this I just think she wasn't into the sex and didn't want to make me feel bad. My penis isn't THAT big 8" x 5.25" def. not that thick to hurt.

Lube! After a while, women do get sore, but if you use plenty of lube, especially with a condom, it helps! When you are in the heat of the moment, a woman doesn't necessarily realize just how tender she gets, and if things get dry, when you take a break, it kicks in. Don't set your goal longer than 20 minutes unless she wants it for that long....

Couple of things here... first, you said that she was used to 3 minutes of just slamming, not that she said she liked 3 minutes of slamming. Is it possible that you misunderstood her? Perhaps her last lover had no stamina or was totally selfish in bed. 3 minutes of slamming does not sound like fun to me. Just because the last guy was a dickhead doesn't mean you have to be.

Slamming isn't enjoyable at all with a large penis. The vagina is only about 7 to 8 inches long at the most, usually shorter. The only time slamming feels good is after very stimulating foreplay and sex when the woman is fully lubricated and aroused, even better if she has cum at least once and you want to do the big band and cum together. Thats when slamming feels good, and ONLY for a few short moments - like 2 or 3 minutes.

When you hit bottom, pull back and thrust just a bit less. If you are hitting bottom repeatedly you are bruising her cervix, and it does not feel good. You're probably lucky she even let you have sex with her at all. I'm sure you weren't slamming her the whole time when you had sex for the longer periods - 10, 20 mins or more - so maybe she did like that better.

Perhaps that's also why she's your ex...

Be a bit more gentle next time big guy. 5 inches is average. 8 is huge.

1.She said she liked and was used to 3 minutes of slamming. ( maybe her ex was smaller?)

2. I could never really slam her, she would hold me back whether it was 3 or 40 minutes, hence I rarely hit bottom.

3. "Perhaps that's also why she's your ex..." I broke up with her and although I appreciate your help keep that last Post menopausal remark to yourself.

That was nasty. I will have you know there are women who dont go into menopause until their late 50s or later. Even if she is, what the heck does that have to do with the question?

"PERHAPS THATS WHY SHES YOUR EX"

IF YOUR GONNA DISH IT BE WILLING TO TAKE IT. I asked for advice not a wise-ass remark

You should take your own advice. Honey had a valid point. When your former partner said she was used to getting 3 minutes of slamming, perhaps that was an observation (of past sexual experiences with men) rather than a request for the same from you? I do find myself wondering if you listened fully to what your former partner was telling you at times? I also wonder how good you are at reading body language.

You were given some pretty big clues that she was not enjoying 'the slamming' as much as you seem to think she was. Two things in particular stand out:

1. A major sign was she would not let you in after you put a condom on. After a while, she admitted that she would not let you in because you were hurting her but I am not being rude, her body language should have told you this long before 'months' had elapsed.

2. You said your former partner gave you a bunch of 'bs' about not letting you in for months and then eventually admitted that you were hurting her. Perhaps she gave you bs because you are not the easiest person in the world to talk to about these things? The clues are in how you dealt with Honey's reply. A nasty comment and unwarranted anger for no reason at all. God only knows how you would deal with a woman who dared to make a negative comment about your performance in the bedroom.

It is a fact that this woman is now your ex. Of course only you (and she) know why she is your ex but Honey is right to suggest that this may have been a factor in why she is your ex. This and what would appear to be some communication difficulties. Or maybe it wasn't. Whatever the case may or may not be, there is no reason for you to have a personal dig at Honey on the grounds of her age and potential menopausal status (which, at the end of the day, has sod all to do with the debate at hand). That is just mean and unnecessary and tells us a lot about you as an individual.

You said you were looking for help with this issue. Be aware that the advice you may get may not be what you want to hear at times. That is the risk you take when you come to an open forum for advice from women and is not grounds for a personal attack on anyone, least of all a woman who is sexually experienced enough to be able to give you sound advice about what goes through a woman's head in these situations.

Hmmmmm. I'd say there were definitely communication problems.

And to label your ex-gf's actions as "bs" also displays an attitude problem, a tendency toward belligerence, and probably overall insensitivity to women.

Maybe anger management classes are in order?

I can absolutly understand your exes point of view.

I can`t think of anything worse than 4o minutes of penetration, particularly with a very large penis, but if my partner took that long I wouldn`t deny him. However I might suggest we try something else to get him off.

In my opinion penetration is very over rated, and there are so many other things you can do together. I know that all previous partners have been more into penetration than me, but I am equally into sex as they are its just that I like more variety.

Maybe I'm not making myself clear here( revert to post #4). She said thats what she liked( to be thrown on the bed and slammed) she also said thats what she was used too. So thats what we did. I wasn't trying to slam the entire time but after I felt her vagina contracting I figured she was done and I'd then go for the slam. I did what I felt was appropriate in a relationship which was talk about things and find out what works. If she lied to me well than I don't know. As far as remark I made, I'll say it again, I'm looking for comments good or bad but not wise-ass remarks.

There is still the issue of why your ex didn't feel able to tell you that you were hurting her immediately - and why you could not tell that you were hurting her. As to Honey's remark, I didn't think there was anything wrong with what she said. But your response was a bit OTT (did she strike a nerve?) and, frankly, a bit too personal bearing in mind what was being said and the fact that your reply to her had NOTHING to do with the points being discussed.

Again like I said in previous posts she would hold me back when I would slam or go in deeper, which would be towards the end of the session. I didn't try and slam every time we made love but she still wouldn't let me in again if I wanted to change the condom. I knew it hurt her when I would try and get rough which I told her to try and get used to it, or I would wait untill she was really wet and relaxed. But even without the slamming,deeper,pain sessions I can't figure out why no re-entry. Her Exact words where " I'm sore, it hurts cause you're too big, god damn it!"

uhm if you haven't finished yet, why do you need to change the condom?

i cum multiple times during sex, i dont like cumming in a woman even with a condom on.

Thank you someone actually read the post before posting, thank you for you comment it make a ton of sense.