Dogs 'n' Dicks

Okay, not sure where to post this one but...(and no this is NOT the bestiality thread so don't start)


I have an old bassett hound...(great dog, dumb as a box of rocks but...)

big dog, bigger tail (smaller brain)

other day sitting in frort of the computer (nude as usual), hanging off the chair (as usual), dog near me with chew bone (as usual) when sudenly I start getting 'worked over'...huge tail wagging happily, knocking the hell out of my nuts... told the dog to move...then got the dreaded 'bassett hound eyes)


Another dog n dick story...me on the sofa, kicked back watching tv, the dog (a puppy at the time) under the sofa) suddenly get a cold chill....the dog, now awakeseems to think my 'hang' is a ...well I suddenly did the 'stand and flip under' in .00002 seconds...

Waking up, full woody under the sheet, throbbing, and the puppy then thinks "look a play toy- its moving! whew.....decieded it was time to sleep on my stomach OR go 'work it out' in the shower...

older dog, now (for reasons that baffle me) terrified of thunder....me on the sofa (nude as usual) dog at my feet trembling...a BIG boom of thunder and suddenly the big bag of rocks is a LAP dog....fine, but big paws with nails and naked dick and nuts do NOT mix...(try telling that to a terrified 50 lbs 'puppy' lol!


anyone else?

Dogs 'n' Dicks just dont mix

I think it's a sign(or series thereof), warning you to wear pants in the dog's presence.

Fucking funny, though.

oh another one....checking something in the oven (I wear an apron sometimes to cover up splatters) bent over, check temp on a tenderloin (chefs DO cook at home folks) and getting a GOOSE under my nuts/dick as a nosy dog tries to peer under the apron at the tenderloin to...scared the crap outa me!

vulnerable position to say the least...

gotta love a (moronic) bassett hound

Men are called dogs often by women. I wonder if theres a connection.

One of my male dogs (now deceased) use to go to my store with me.
Sometimes he would lay around in the office, other times he'd come up front and sit behind the counter. On occasion when a male customer came in, he (the dog) would go over and sniff the guys crotch. Boy...was I jealous!

Some dogs apparently have a thing for dicks? I used to live with a dog would constantly bury his face in my crotch (while I was clothed), to the point where I was chopping him in the throat to keep him at bay. I couldn't masturbate in the open because he would come running as fast as he could and I would have to stop everything and relocate because he wouldn't quit (seriously). One time he surprised me and got my nuts with one quick lap of his tounge and got me with his teeth. I knocked him in the throat pretty hard too, poor thing... I would have done just the same to a person though, I guess. Some dogs, like people, just like dicks. I learned real quick that being naked around that dog was probably a really bad idea, considering what he might have done if he thought it was a toy. And even if he was just being curious, I really wouldn't really want a dog putting his tounge on my dick, considering where it goes (all over their parts) and what goes in it (including feces, ). Watch out for UTI's!

If I had a dog (I don't), and I happened to be on the living room floor on my hands and knees, while naked, like to look for something under the couch, etc., and a dog was there, I wonder if the dog would try to fuck me up the ass?

Just letting my mind wander a bit..........

I had a friend whose dog would constantly bury his nose in your crotch. What's the reasoning behind it, perhaps they smell pheromones?

My kids dog is in the room when i'm getting out of bed to feed her(i sleep nude), she sees it swing and jumps for it, i immediatly covered up, and lucky she's a mini mutt or i shudder to think of what she could have done to me. tiny but sharp teeth. now i make sure i have my dick covered in her presence.

Dogs to cats....I'll lay in bed at night nude and watch the late news, no covers and the cat will curl up at my side. Then she'll slowly wag her tail that gently brushes over my cock, just every now and then. Feels great...never get hard from it though.

This is kind of gross, but I'm going to share it anyway.

When I was a teenager, one day after masturbating on my bed, dressed but with my jeans pulled down, after my climax I slowly drifted off to sleep...to be awakend by my dog lapping up all the fresh cum on my belly! After that, the dog sort of connected me lying on my bed with my looks and motions of beating off with the fact that a "special treat" would appear at the end. The dog started jumping on the bed with me when I'd start masturbating and would friggin' watch me do it! Then, when I was done, the dog would come over and lick up all my fresh cum! (If there was any cum still on my penis, the dog would lick that too. I had mixed emotions about that because while I felt it was disgusting, the tongue-action on my dick felt fantastic. This was a few years before any girl would do anything like that to my dick.)

It was "our little secret", and I guess it did save me a lot of Kleenex!

thats wierd dude lol