You Did What???!!??

What's the most embarrassing sexual experience you've had? I'll start-- once my wife and I got frisky and were going at it. We ended up on the floor. Her legs were high in the air and I was thrusting into her with my ass and balls pointed in the direction of the door. We didn't hear the door open but heard a gasp my my wife's niece (who was 8 at the time). She got a clear view of my ass and balls.....

It was an instant mood and erection killer!!!

Then we had to explain to niece's mom.....

A couple years back when the wife and I were selling our condo in NYC, we had an interesting run in. The listing agent had planned an open house on a week day and didn't bother telling us because she assumed we would both be at work. Well, on that particular day, we had both decided to play hooky and have ourselves a "Naked Thursday."

By 10:00 AM we were in the middle of some rather spirited love making. All the neighbors on the floor were at work, so we weren't holding anything back. When the agent brought in the first couple for a showing, we were on the living room floor, the wife's legs were behind her head, and I was balls deep and just banging away. They turned around awfully quick and went back to the lobby.

We finished up quick, got dressed and went out for brunch so they could actually try to sell the place. Our agent was much better about scheduling after that.

But here's the punchline - That's the couple that ended up buying our condo!!! I like to think that it was because of how well we highlighted the hardwood floors.

Well, you know what they say, "SEX SELLS"! lol

I was getting a mind-blowing hummer and farted. Not some little squeaker either, but a nice, long frappy one.

My girlfriend was riding me at her parents' palce, they were downstairs.

All of a sudden, as I had my face buried under her skirt, the door opened and somebody breathed heavily. My heart stopped beating!

It was just the dog but I was soooo scared!

... Most embarrassing. Huh.

Waking up the next morning to hear that he hadn't been as old as I thought.

And a virgin.

Being playful with my wife (girlfriend at the time), tried to lick her and missed. I ended up licking the bedsheet and doing the "bleh! Bleh!" thing with the taste of cotton in my mouth :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by TooWet ... Most embarrassing. Huh.

Was he at least old enough to drive? I'll have to add that to my list of potential sexual nightmares.

While trying to get into an inverted position depicted in the Kama Sutra I slid off the bed and sprained my thumb.

geez, so many to mention!! But one time we were going at it in the front seat of his little mid 80s mustang, I got my high heel caught in the ash tray and ripped it out. He was not happy! Hmmm, could that be why most ash trays now are removable??

I was going down on a woman, and she had her legs around my neck. When she came, she squeezed her legs together and choked me out. Next thing I know, I'm in an ambulance looking at two paramedics stifling laughs.

I had that happen too.

She was over 18 but still using a fake ID and still living at home.

How'd I find out. Her phone rang in the night. Her parents were pissed off when they woke up and she wasn't there. I had to drive her to her girlfriends house because they were going to pick her up.

My girlfriend and I were taking a shower at my parents place, thinking we had the house to ourselves. All of a sudden we hear a door close and stop what we're doing and stare at the bathroom door, then kinda give that look to eachother.

Turns out it was the wind closing another door in the house vv

My ex-wife really liked one sex position in particular. She would lie face-down on the bed, and I would lie face-down on her back and enter her from behind. I'd put one of my hands underneath her and rub her clitoris while thrusting. She said that would cause her clitoris to be rubbed both from above and below, and that double-barrelled action would cause her to have really intense orgasms. We were doing this one time and she began to orgasm. It was so intense that she started bucking like a bronco and literally threw me off of her. Unfortunately, this happened at the worst possible time, as I had just reached the "point of no return" and proceeded to spray the bedsheets with semen. It was quite a clean-up job....

My wife perforated (aka burst) one of my eardrums in similar fashion several years ago.

Thighs can be pretty dangerous :p

My x/bf was lying face up on the kitchen table and I was driving him pretty hard. The table collapsed at the same time I was exploding!! We both laughed like hell!