Need advice: What makes you sexually comfortable with guys

The girls I've befriended some of them I have a sexual attraction to but Ive never even been remotely close to getting in someones pants. The one time I've recieved head was on a dare. I rarely talk about sex with my friends because theyre not comfortable enough with me to talk about it and if they are thy say theyre not comfortable enough with me act with me. Im just confused as to what makes you guys comfortable enough to have sex with someone. I'm a decent looking albeit very shy, and aloof person. But I just dont get why I dont attract any girls.

I'm afraid that is a somewhat impossible question to answer.

As with men, different women have different comfort levels. What is true for me will not be true for your female friends.

Are you talking about wanting to have casual sex or are you more interested in having a girlfriend?

From what you are saying it sounds like the girls in your social circle are not into having casual sex. You have two choices, go outside your social cirecle or date within it. (Or both, which is actually a third option - dating outside your social circle.) If you do the dating thing, as opposed to just hanging out together, you will be showing a level of commitment beyond just wanting to get in someone's pants, that may be what the women you know are looking for.

Not much of an answer - but about the best I can do.

I really want either or. More so a girlfriend. Im going on craigslist but I dont understand why all of my friends are able to attract girls and form relationships friendships etc. while I cant.

I know I actually have serious social issues where my personal communication skills are poor and i tend to be very avoidant and oblivious or so my friends say.

Girls talk to my friends all of the time. I never get approached at all and I dont understand and it depresses me because I'm really lonely.

Damn.

Trust and attraction are the keys for me.

keeping your head up like you're not ashamed of being alive would be a great start for you.

The more you can showcase how comfortable you are with yourself, the more women will be comfortable with you. Confidence is key. It shows you are not worried about proving anything, cause you already know you are awesome. Shyness portrays uncertanty and trepidation, neither of which turn women on.

It's not your time yet. I know it sounds trite but you have yet to say anything which leads me to believe you are emotionally ready to be in a serious relationship.

[quote=Smooth88;1601607]I really want either or. More so a girlfriend. Im going on craigslist

Quote:

but I dont understand why all of my friends are able to attract girls and form relationships friendships etc. while I cant. I know I actually have serious social issues where my personal communication skills are poor and i tend to be very avoidant and oblivious or so my friends say. Girls talk to my friends all of the time. I never get approached at all and I dont understand and it depresses me because I'm really lonely.

I only know you from chat and a few postings. I'm not a matchmaker or a therapist; but as a woman I can tell you that girls are not attractsed to lonely, depressed men. My guess is that you come across as a nice enough guy; but also as the black hole of neediness.

Im needy but I dont really act like Im needy around new people. I feel like I do the right things but I dont know why I'm unsuccessful.

You will probably need to do more to build a relationship with a girl before she will even consider sleeping with you. As a guy, you need to be confident and fairly assertive (rather than shy and aloof) to attract girls who want to be with you. The girls that you have liked before now probably think you weren't interested due to the aloofness that you have described. If you were aloof with them and then tried to get to second base, that would be even worse from their point of view - akin to a stranger trying to stick his tongue in their mouths! Alright, you probably didn't try this but you know what I mean.

You can't go from zero to 60 with a girl without some sort of rapport on BOTH your parts, even if that interest is purely sexual. It is possible that you had a sexual attraction and thought your interest was returned but the reality is she either thought of you as a friend or she didn't think of you at all (due to the aloofness). That is why you never get them into bed.

If I were you I would forget about scoring for now and focus on improving the way you interact with the opposite sex (i.e. talking to them, learning to flirt with them, learning to read signals and all the rest of it).

I know where your at, man, and I sympathize. When I was there I think the intensity of how you feel is what turns girls away. My best advice, although hard to put into practice is forget about it. Don't worry about getting a girlfriend, don't look, just relax and be happy with yourself and a good one will come your way at the right time. Girls like guys how are clearly comfortable with themselves.

Yeah but, you dont have to be "emotionally ready" to have sex if you are a male!!!!!!

I think he has to make it his time.

I think your problem, Smooth, is that you don't demonstrate value to girls.

This is my problem too. I'm in the same situation man, or at least a similar one.

Being low confidence and depressed is a major turnoff to girls. Its equivalent, to girls, to being a very good looking girl and all of a sudden you put on 50 lbs.