Casual Sex with Soul Mate...

Here's what's going on in my life right now.
Well first let me tell you what was going on three years ago.
I was in love. I was a junior in high school and I met a guy who made me want to get married and he seemed gay but he wasn't (or so he said) so basically I was in love with a straight man, but I couldn't just leave him alone because he told me to go away. honestly i stalked him a bit but that was a long time ago so there's no need to hash on that. so three years go by and haven't heard from him, because by law i couldn't contact him for a year. so there i was that night. i saw him at a GAY club (i knew he was gay!) and i said hi. long story short we had sex. and did again the next day. and the next. we've had a lot of sex. i've swallowed about ten of his loads over the past 4 days. he's versatile so i took a cock for the first time, up until now i've been a strict top. he wanted a rimming so i did that for the first time too.

so here's the catch. he was just in it for casual sex. but i still love him, i never stopped. the sex is amazing. and i feel like marrying him. last night he gave me the best blow job of my life, 20 minutes long, and as i bred him, i said "i love you"
last night was so good it was a bit painful but it was worth it a million times over.
i want to try to at least make him my boyfriend. but how do i ask especially with the history we've had?

There was a court order restraining you from contacting him. Go get counseling before you wind up in jail.

its not like he went and got a restraining order... and that was ages ago when i was a idiot kid. he propositioned me for sex so that was then, this is now.

"Bred him"?

I'll never understand the need for gay men to apply heterosexual terms and ideas to the act of GAY sex.

I never use that term, ever. It is ANAL sex. Nothing more.


None of this sounds healthy at all. Especially at 19 years old.

I'm still a bit confused about that 90% straight thing you claim to be.

Casual sex becoming more isn't unheard of. Be upfront about your intentions. Tell him this past week has been aces and you'd like things to progress beyond the casual. You can't keep fucking and hope he'll bring it up first because he may never share the same feelings for you and all you're going to end up with is a world of hurt as you become more attached. Your first encounter with him 3 years ago may have been a scary time for him. Perhaps he was unsure of his own orientation. Perhaps he wasn't onboard with the idea of dating a stalker. Who knows. All we can be sure of is that he is currently, to some extent, gay and so there may be a possibility of having a relationship. I mean, he's obviously aware of the history you've had and that hasn't stopped him from having sex with you. He may be willing to try for more. All I can tell you for certain is that you've gotta be straightforward with him. The sooner the better

I think the confusion was from you saying:

"because by law i couldn't contact him for a year"

That suggests a restraining order was present. Usually if you're not allowed to contact someone, by law, it's a restraining order.

Here's what's going on in my life right now.
Well first let me tell you what was going on three years ago.
I was in love. I was a junior in high school and I met a guy who made me want to get married and he seemed gay but he wasn't (or so he said) so basically I was in love with a straight man, but I couldn't just leave him alone because he told me to go away. honestly i stalked him a bit but that was a long time ago so there's no need to hash on that. so three years go by and haven't heard from him, because by law i couldn't contact him for a year.

so there i was that night. i saw him at a GAY club (i knew he was gay!) and i said hi. long story short we had sex. and did again the next day. and the next. we've had a lot of sex. i've swallowed about ten of his loads over the past 4 days. he's versatile so i took a cock for the first time, up until now i've been a strict top. he wanted a rimming so i did that for the first time too.

so here's the catch. he was just in it for casual sex. but i still love him, i never stopped. the sex is amazing. and i feel like marrying him. last night he gave me the best blow job of my life, 20 minutes long, and as i bred him, i said "i love you"
last night was so good it was a bit painful but it was worth it a million times over.

i want to try to at least make him my boyfriend. but how do i ask especially with the history we've had?


You really don't listen. This guy had sex with you and it was casual. Who's fooling who?
Who is giving you permission to fall in love with this man? You are because he sure isn't.

How can you call this man a soulmate when he had you under a restraining order back in the day and now he used you for casual sex?

Why can't you find a man that you can truly call a soulmate? To have a soulmate, you and he would know that you are right for each other in more ways than casual sex.

I think that you have to learn not to fall in love with "straight" men or any good fucks you meet. If he is thinking that you are just a fuck...and you are out picking out china patterns and setting up wedding registries at JC Penney and Roberto Coin. This shows how intune you are.

seems to me like this is gonna end really bad...not to be negative...but you told him you love him? come on...he wants casual and you say i love you? thats the biggest turn off and awkward situation ever.

So why is it you list yourself as only 10 percent gay????

sounds like you still are an idiot kid.

All this can lead to a very difficult, painfull and dangerous situation... first of all, why did u told him "I LOVE U"? It's obvious that he's only looking for something ocational... save all the tears and more law process and find another guy dont' be a psycho.... AGAIN!

Sounds like the thrill of the forbidden has a hold on you, which is not good.

Don't know what to write. I have found myself in unpromising situations and always backed off.

Breeding obviously infers unprotected sex. You might well end up with the gift that keeps on giving if you don't start wrapping it (and insisting he do the same).

At nineteen, I'm sure you feel indestructible. You're not. I was infected with HIV some time between the ages of 18 and 23 and am extraordinarily lucky to still be alive. You probably won't be: none of my friends were.