What's a Guy To Do?

Hello ladies and gents -

I thought I would share with you something that has been on my mind of late and welcome your thoughts and comments.

While at the market on Saturday evening I saw a former PR client of mine. She opened an art gallery and I did a bang up job on the PR for the place and brought it widespread acclaim. At the time five years ago, she was married and I was in a serious relationship. She intimated about having an affair (she is very attractive and has a super personality btw) but I declined.

She has since divorced her husband and I am single and she hit on me like a pinata and asked me out.

I love it when this happens. The thing is - she is in her early 40s, has a 17 year old daughter that lives with her father and has no intentions of having another child. She knows I called off my wedding b/c fiancee would not have children.

However...she still wants to go out with me and (I am not being arrogant b/c I know her) well, have great sex. Now if I can just have the great, casual sex and leave it at that it would be wonderful while still being her friend. But I know her well enough to know if it starts out with the casual sex thing that she will get attached and when I find someone with whom there is a possibility of settling down with it would be difficult for her.

In talking with friends I have asked 'why is it that women see me as nothing more than a party boy they want to have sex with'? And friends are very honest and they are like 'you ARE a party boy that is good for sex. You don't exactly present yourself like domestic/husband/dad material.". Well how in the hell do I do that?

But my party boy days are waning and I am looking to settle down and can't seem to find the right one that all the pieces come together perfectly.

I somehow hope that in the party scene I will run across a party girl who does want a devoted and loving husband and father who will love the domestic thing while still being able to entertain and socialize. It seems this is a crazy notion and not at all realistic.

I have even 'dated' women who go to church thinking that might be a good route to go. I am not dating a virgin and getting married to one so that is out of the question.

So I guess what I am asking is: what's a guy to do?

Plenty of parties and casual sex and being wanted for those things is fine. I enjoy them. It's just that I am at a point in my life that after 20 years, those things are not fulfilling to me anymore.

So, all I have is more parties and charity things to attend and will keep looking I guess. Anyone else been in this sort of situation? Thanks.

Aye. Sounds like quite the sticky situation.

From what I've read, you called off a weddin' with your former betrothed because she didn't want kids? From what it sounds like, this relationship isn't going to work out either considering she already has a daughter o' her own.

If you're looking for another romp 'n go, she might be the ticket. But from what you're sayin' about a more meaningful relationship, this isn't going to be the one for you, t'would seem.

I say throw another party for the two of you and have yourselves a ball. What could it hurt?

A party girl who will love the domestic thing! You're correct, it's not at all realistic. You basically want to have your cake and eat it too. Reminds me of all the online personals where women write that they want 'a man who knows what he wants and goes for it' but he should also be 'respectful, courteous and know how to treat a lady'

Get realistic.