Has anyone here had a mid life crisis?

invisibleman · 07-04-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveyR

Thanks for your comments guys especially invisibleman. I can assure you it's nothing to do with confidence . I just can't put my finger on it.

It is simply called "maturation". And you still got it.

invisibleman · 07-04-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by jason_els

Oh and this

My grandfather was temporarily in a nursing home because he broke his arm at 93. He was in his private room with his private nurse and heard a knock at the door. The nurse rose to answer it and while she was busy, my grandfather saw his late mother and two late sisters outside the window of his room. They were waving to him and the sight filled him not with dread, but with happiness. He recalled that they all appeared far younger than he remembered. My grandfather had once said that he believed, despite going to church many years, that, "...when you're dead you're dead and that's it." Less than two weeks later my grandmother told the aide she had to go to the hospital to visit my grandfather. She awoke her nurse and ordered the nurse to take her to the hospital. When she arrived, my grandfather who had faded rapidly since his vision, awoke from his coma and greeted my grandmother. She professed her undying love for him and with just that, he died moments later. I'm a man of science, I don't believe in supernatural things. I believe that my grandparents had a connection, married over 75 years, that science cannot yet explain. Someday science will explain it, yet however it does, nothing will match the dignity of privilege that love holds over any formula or theorum.

Burn the candle however it feels is right for you. Our time here is short by any means. If you can die without regrets, you'll die happy.

By grace and providence, I have been blessed beyond any measure and I marvel at the quality of extraordinary people I have been privileged to hold me in any regard. One of them is here.

When I die, my first night in heaven will be spent at the table of Thomas Jefferson at his Monticello-In-The-Sky. After that, I'm anybody's guest.

You should read a book called "Into The Light" by Dr. John Lerma. He talks about people in hospices having similar experiences to your grandfather.
Death is a transition towards something remarkably better.

hootie · 07-04-2008

I remember an elderly french baron's view on love and life. Being older was a beautiful thing. The changes happen, you adjust to them, you get comfortable in your skin, you learn to see beauty in people who are older, wrinkled, and slower. In part it's all in your perspective.

DaveyR · 07-04-2008

I have to admit that I really wasn't sure about starting this thread but I'm so pleased that I did. You guys are a powerful combination of support and wisdom.

My mind is a bit fucked up right now and I know exactly why. It's something I can't share here. I know what the outcome will be and I'm happy with that. Lets just say it's a bit difficult in the meantime.

Jason you especially have always been a great support and listener. If I can ever return the favour then just say the word and I'd only be too happy to lend an ear and help if I could.

Phil Ayesho · 07-04-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveyR

Thanks for your comments guys especially invisibleman. I can assure you it's nothing to do with confidence

. I just can't put my finger on it.

You are grappling with the slow realization that you are closer to the end than the beginning... that life is not full of limitless opportunity and that many of the things you fantasied you might accomplish in life are unlikely to occur.

You may have gone as far, professionally, as you are gonna get... may be having to accept that you will not be the great director, CEO or rockstar you might have preferred...

You are beginning to realize that you HAVE a body... because it is starting to show the strain of living... and this is making you aware that you WILL age, you will become less able, in every measure... something that seemed an abstract idea is now really happening to you..

If days were dollars, you only get 27,000 of them....and you have spent more than 16,000 of them already... and the remaining 11,000 are not going to be as fun, frolicksome, and pain free as were the days that are behind you.

Your libido is on the wane.... probably your hair, too...

When we are young, we think of life as a limitless well from which we can draw as we please...

But at a certain age we begin to be painfully aware that we will only really watch the sunrise a handful of times in our lives... only have so many first kisses.... someday buy our very last set of tires... of shoes.... of concert tickets.

Say not cease for cease is soon enough, and lasting....
And no measure of time is time enough by the measure of any man.

Phil Ayesho · 07-04-2008

PS- you know you are middle aged the very first time you realize you parked your car in the sun and the seats are going to be scorching hot...

And you like it...

hootie · 07-04-2008

DaveyR · 07-04-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phil Ayesho

PS- you know you are middle aged the very first time you realize you parked your car in the sun and the seats are going to be scorching hot...

And you like it...

Well we've had a heatwave here for the last week and guess what I've done that every day. That's me well and truly fucked then isn't it.

whatireallywant · 07-05-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by naughty

I dont think that really is a midlife crisis. I think that can happen at any age as you just expressed. I think we have a number of these "How am I doing?" moments throughout our lives. I also think comparing your life path with that of friends and family can only lead to additional low self esteem. THink about all the time you wouldnt have wasted worrying about the husband and children if you had known you would still be single at this point. I know I had to get to that point as well.

I've had this too, but mine was different. I compared myself to people around me in the community, and although I was still living with my parents and working dead end jobs to pay my bills and put myself through school for my second degree (one that I later really did use for professional employment!), I felt that I was BETTER off than most of the women I knew there. Most were saddled with kids, abusive husbands/boyfriends, and little or no job skills. Plus there were not that many job opportunities there anyway, especially for women (sexism was REALLY bad there). So while I thought I was better off for not being stuck in an abusive relationship and having kids to support, I wanted something better - a good job and to be on my own. I got that later (in my thirties), but it didn't last. Now I have one of the two. I am still managing to be on my own, but no longer have the good job. I have a few prospects, and have worked jobs that may have been temporary, but were not nearly as bad as the jobs I had when I was in my twenties.

As for the husband/kids thing, I have never wanted children, and have never looked upon anyone who had them with envy. I was more likely to feel that they were probably a lot more stifled in their lives than I was. I would maybe like to have a husband but I want someone I'm truly compatible with, and of course who is NOT abusive!

stacy · 07-05-2008

i remember when my dad was around his mid 40s he went through a mid-life crisis. it was difficult because brought on a lot of changes for the whole family. however, the good thing is he eventually snapped out of it and things have gotten a lot better for him and the family since then.

Mr. Snakey · 07-05-2008

Every day i do for a couple of minutes. Then i snap out of it. Im getting older. Thats what im supposed to do. Im also very luck to be around to get older. So im thankful for that.

DaveyR · 07-05-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Snakey

Every day i do for a couple of minutes. Then i snap out of it. Im getting older. Thats what im supposed to do. Im also very luck to be around to get older. So im thankful for that.

That's the right attitude Mr S ;)

pdxman · 07-05-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveyR

That's the right attitude Mr S ;)

I'm gonna be 49 next month and it just staggers me as to where the time went and how quickly it took to get to 49. Someone older told me time seems to go by faster even as you get older. Maybe this contributes to the anxieties of mid-life crises. But I guess the alternative is death,,so,,,,why not be the best 49 you can be? Ive dealt with cancer twice and im still here....so I'd like to believe there is still some purpose for me being alive.,,,but maybe there is no purpose and its all just some grandiose idea in my head that i have a purpose..who know,,,but why not find out and live it out.

Lee_M · 07-05-2008

Apparently scientist now believe their is a quoter life crisis. I believe it because i think maybe im just finishing having one. You know the time 25-30 when you start getting worried about being old, how things haven't gone quiet how you planned and you start panicking and/or doing silly things in a vain bit to still be 'young'

TarzanKingOfMars · 07-05-2008

We're all watching a film, shown on gravestones...we're all in debt, we owe God a death

Has anyone here had a mid life crisis?

Originally Posted by DaveyR Thanks for your comments guys especially invisibleman. I can assure you it's nothing to do with confidence . I just can't put my finger on it. It is simply called "maturation".