GAY OR BISEXUAL PARENTS -- Any preferences regarding your child's sexual orientation?

So, this question is for gay or bisexual parents, or for gay or bisexual people who plan on having children eventually.

Do you have any preference on whether your child grows up to be gay, straight or bi? Do you prefer they grow up totally straight? Or would you like them to be gay or bi like you? Do you do anything to try to influence your child's orientation, or at least their attitudes about sexual orientation?

I don't have kids, but I think when I have kids some day, I'd encourage them to be bisexual. That way, whatever gender they feel attracted to, they don't have to be ashamed about it, at least around me. I may even try to influence their orientation, or at least their attitudes about orientation, by showing them films with gay/bi characters and relationships almost as frequently as regular straight films so that the idea of gay couples seems normal and natural to them.

You know... I wonder how many more years it will be before Disney finally makes an animated fairy-tale film about gay characters? I can just imagine a plot similar to The Little Mermaid but instead of a mermaid going to a witch to transform into a human so she can be with her human prince, a young man goes to a witch to transform into a girl so he can be with his prince (who turns out to be gay).

You never should encourage your children to be gay, bi or straight, that is wrong. Let them be what they are, but be open and don't say negative things about being straight, bi or gay!

You shouldn't prefer them to be anything except happy about who they are and happy about how they live their lives, as long as they're not harming themselves or anyone else.

Pieterjoke and Auron have it right. As a gay dad of a 7 year old, I find one of the greatest joys of fatherhood in creating enough freedom and space for him to develop into his own person, which is a challenge with the necessary demands of parenting. Trying to guide something as trivial as his sexual orientation is wasted effort.

My boys happiness and health are my main concern as a parent. Whatever path their sexuality takes is of no concern to me (within reason). I work on keeping the lines of communication open about this stuff, especially with my older son, because I want them to make decisions based on fact, not schoolyard myths.

Straight, bi or gay...I encourage you to talk to you kids about this stuff. There is some SCARY misinformation going around MIDDLE SCHOOLS these days

I would hope that when I have kids (someday I hope to) that I will not influence them in any way, shape or form. Whatever their sexuality is, that's what it is and as their father I would think that full acceptance of whatever and whoever they are (unless they are thieves or liars or something like that) is part of my job as a parent. I would not influence them one way or the other or middle of the road (bi). If that is what they are, who am I to say it's wrong or right or whatever? Whoever and whatever they are is right, and if I as a parent have a problem with that, isn't it more my problem then theirs anyway?

Why would u want to influence u child to be gay or bi I think thats so wrong thats what gets them confused an then they grow up feeling sexualy confused, its like if u were gay and ur dad tryed to influence u to become straight by giving u playboy magazines how would u feel about that u wouldn't like it so why would u do that to ur kid its just so wrong and thats why many people are against gays adopting

I just want my kids to grow up to be good, honest people. Their orientation is a non-issue for me.

My son decided his own way, despite having interacted in groups with gay couples in them. He's probably straight. Likes blondes. Finds men kissing one another not anything he needs to see, but can deal with men and women.

I'm bi-gendered and I would love to raise a gay son. But that is just me.

Well, I guess in a culture where there is a lot of homophobia and stigma that goes along with being gay, it would be wrong to try and "train" the child to be gay.

But... I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to be constantly commenting around them, "That's a handsome dude," or "That's one hot chick," or saying things like, "It's cool to be bi!" Raising them on musical films, putting them in drama or dance classes (if they were interested), displaying same sex affection in front of them if you have a same sex partner... just to let them know that it's OKAY to be attracted to either gender.

When I was about eleven, I did have a therapist who suggested that I try sexually experimenting with my male cousin (even though I didn't have any gay attraction at the time) because it was "normal" and "common" for kids around that age to be curious and to experiment with each other. The idea certainly seemed WEIRD to me and I never did it, however... if I had the urge to try it out, I wouldn't have found any shame in doing so because of what my therapist told me.

But I guess the main thing I want to know is...

Most straight parents prefer for their kids to grow up straight and they'll do whatever they can do create an environment where the kid can establish their gender identity and straight orientation.

For any gay or bi parents out there, do you have the same preference that straight parents have and want your kids to grow up straight, or... because you're gay or bi, you have a hidden preference to want the kid to grow
up to have the same orientation as you?

For me... being bi... I'll honestly say this... if I had a son, I'd love it if he grew up to be bi, too. I know that I can't choose his orientation, but... I can certainly help to create an environment where he feels safe and unjudged if that's how his orientation develops.

In general you don't want to confuse children with adult concerns. They'll be confused enough when they are adults. Let them be kids.

This is a very interesting topic. Actually one that I may have to deal with soon. I have one daughter. And to be completely honest, because of how society is, I would not "want" her to be gay. Simply because I would not want her to feel what I have felt from society. But speaking deeper, I would want her to be whatever makes her happy, whether it is straight, gay, or bi. I would not influence her in any way. Which also brings up a question. Last year was the first year that she spent some substantial amount of time with me, about a month and a half. My mother was here with her. So it was me, my partner, my daughter and my mother. At first things were a bit awkward, but my mother knows I'm gay, my daughter doesn't at the moment, and she always went to bed before my partner and I did. I was always the first one up. This year, I want her to come up here alone, we are working that. If she does, I plan to explain to her that "daddy is not like other daddys". Has anyone else had any experience in this? Any suggestions on the best approach to this?

I think her Daddy is like other daddies. You sound like a dad to me. Give the kid some credit. She'll figure out what she needs to on her own in her own good time.