GAY OR BISEXUAL PARENTS -- Any preferences regarding your child's sexual orientation?

9incut · 07-03-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by dxjnorto

I think her Daddy is like other daddies. You sound like a dad to me. Give the kid some credit. She'll figure out what she needs to on her own in her own good time.

Thanks, I thought about just letting her come to me and ask, but then I know how her mother is, and I don't want to talk bad about her, but even though her mother doesn't know (and I'm not being conceited) but because she couldn't have me she has done some hateful things, there is no telling what she is feeding my daughters thoughts. And I would rather she hear something like this from me and not her mother's version.

dxjnorto · 07-03-2008

Kids figure that shit out. If someone is feeding you hateful shit don't you figure it out? Counterpropaganda is more confusing if you ask me because then she has to sort out two people's versions. (Just don't let her know that you're a Steve-O fan.)

9incut · 07-03-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by dxjnorto

Kids figure that shit out. If someone is feeding you hateful shit don't you figure it out? Counterpropaganda is more confusing if you ask me because then she has to sort out two people's versions. (Just don't let her know that you're a Steve-O fan.)

lol true
and i watch jackass cause i can't believe some of the stuff they do to themselves.

DaveyR · 07-03-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by pieterjoke

You never should encourage your children to be gay, bi or straight, that is wrong. Let them be what they are, but be open and don't say negative things about being straight, bi or gay!

Quote:

Originally Posted by _Auron_

You shouldn't prefer them to be anything except happy about who they are and happy about how they live their lives, as long as they're not harming themselves or anyone else.

QFT. No more needs to be said.

RLSteve · 07-03-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by 9incut

This is a very interesting topic. Actually one that I may have to deal with soon. I have one daughter. And to be completely honest, because of how society is, I would not "want" her to be gay. Simply because I would not want her to feel what I have felt from society. But speaking deeper, I would want her to be whatever makes her happy, whether it is straight, gay, or bi. I would not influence her in any way. Which also brings up a question. Last year was the first year that she spent some substantial amount of time with me, about a month and a half. My mother was here with her. So it was me, my partner, my daughter and my mother. At first things were a bit awkward, but my mother knows I'm gay, my daughter doesn't at the moment, and she always went to bed before my partner and I did. I was always the first one up. This year, I want her to come up here alone, we are working that. If she does, I plan to explain to her that "daddy is not like other daddys". Has anyone else had any experience in this? Any suggestions on the best approach to this?

You know, there are children's books that talk about alternative lifestyles, like kids with two daddies or two mommies that love each other. There's even a children's book about the gay penguins at the San Diego zoo.

When I have kids, I plan to read books like these to them when they're young, so that it's not a culture shock to them when they find out about it when they're older. Because I remember the first time I learned about gay people when I was eleven, and I thought, "Ew!!!" I'd rather not have my kids have that kind of reaction, so best to teach them about it when they are younger before they develop any negative judgment about it.

flaman · 07-03-2008

I agree with Dxjnorto. Your daughter will figure out what she needs to know on her own. My daughter was only five when i came out. She is now 27, and had done well accepting my lifestyle, and her two brothers have too.

Not_Punny · 07-03-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by 9incut

This is a very interesting topic. Actually one that I may have to deal with soon. I have one daughter. And to be completely honest, because of how society is, I would not "want" her to be gay. Simply because I would not want her to feel what I have felt from society. But speaking deeper, I would want her to be whatever makes her happy, whether it is straight, gay, or bi. I would not influence her in any way. Which also brings up a question. Last year was the first year that she spent some substantial amount of time with me, about a month and a half. My mother was here with her. So it was me, my partner, my daughter and my mother. At first things were a bit awkward, but my mother knows I'm gay, my daughter doesn't at the moment, and she always went to bed before my partner and I did. I was always the first one up. This year, I want her to come up here alone, we are working that. If she does, I plan to explain to her that "daddy is not like other daddys". Has anyone else had any experience in this? Any suggestions on the best approach to this?

The father of my three teenagers is gay.

I let them find out for themselves in their own time. I had 'the talk' with the older two when they brought it up. The oldest had the talk with the youngest, when the youngest brought it up about 2 weeks ago.

They're fine with it.

Don't worry.

If YOU "bring it up", I think that it becomes too much of an issue.

Usually, when someone starts a "there's something you oughta know..." conversation, it's bad news.

Since when was being gay (or having a gay dad) bad news???

- - - - - - -

Oh, and to answer the OP -- don't worry. WHen you have kids, you just want them to be happy. I couldn't give a rats ass what their orientation is.

9incut · 07-04-2008

You all bring up very good points and it seem that they all center closely around finding out for themself or being introduced to different environments at a young age. I guess it wouldnt be playing so much on my mind if my daughters mother had not kept me from her in her early childhood. She is just now realizing that she should be in my life....that and the fact that she asked my mom if I could actually "take" her until she realized she would not be getting anymore child support, but that's another story. My daughter turns 13 on the 17th of this month. She was raised those 13 years in the deep part of South Carolina where if one man was to even give another man a hug, he was thought to be gay and condemed for it. This is what I am worried is instilled in her mind, the hate of homosexuals.

GAY OR BISEXUAL PARENTS -- Any preferences regarding your child's sexual orientation?

Originally Posted by dxjnorto I think her Daddy is like other daddies. You sound like a dad to me. Give the kid some credit. She'll figure out what she needs to on her own in