Gay? straight?

ok, not being TOTALLY out for yourself isn't GOOD.. you should, first understand about YOUR own sexuality, and them bother with others. OK, IMHO you should just talk things over with him. JUST explain that YOU'RE gay [or think you are!] and tell your secret, cause it seams he's trying to understand that from yourself too...

BE true to yourself, THAT'S my aadvice to you! :D

Hey Stomry

I would have a few beers with him at your house, just talk casually about relationships and general stuff, get the conversation around to films, then porn, and say have you got anything you want to watch, I find a bit of bi stuff gets me horny, you get the best of both world, see a cute girl getting fucked, by a fit guy or two with a big dick
That would be acceptable to most people, whilst watching say something like, fucking hell, this is really turning me on, I'm could do with jacking off, (who knows that may be the start of a beautiful friendship.)
Obviously judge his reaction at each stage, I reckon most guys would go for bi porn without fearing they have to admit to being aroused by the guys.
You might find, a hand comes across when he gets steamed up and starts feel your dick, then you've got the green light..
Make sure the doors lock and his gf is not gonna come around.

Let us know if it works..

Dude,
Plenty of men have gfs and even get married and produce kids while knowing damned well that they prefer sex with men and getting cock and ass on the side. That said, you need to just come out in a very natural way. Talk about some other guy you find hot or going to a Gay club.... that's a lot less stressful than "letting" him catch you jacking off to Gay porn. If the roomie can't handle it, he'll let you know, and you can move on to a situation where you'll be Out from the start.

Best,
Darren

so true...
I know someone who is about to go through that whole process! He's recently gotten himself a gf, and is already talking about getting married...he will do anything to keep his family from knowing the truth about him...he's the youngest of 5 brothers and is the only one who isn't married & doesn't have kids...

Quote:

Originally Posted by offroad8x6 in the realm of my experience i would say that these situations are tormenting for all concerned.

No shit!

I speak as someone who has had a very recent experience with this sort of thing; at work, of all places. Without a doubt, the worst interpersonal experience I have ever had!

It's been almost seven months since the denouement, I left my job two months ago, and the thing is still bothering me.

This is really difficult.

At a guess this guy isn't confident in his own sexuality. He wants to be 100% straight, as that is what society pushes us all to be, though it sounds as if this is not actually his orientation. Or maybe he just doesn't really know. To conform with society expectations he needs a girlfriend, and might even get round to marrying her.

I think the move has to come from him. What you could do is give him the chance to make this move. Watching a (straight) porno dvd together might help - though whether you will go into a male-bonding wank session is far from sure - probably you won't. It would at least give you a proper opening to talk about sex.

If you have had straight sex try to have an explicit conversation about it with him. Maybe work in some comments about how much hard work girls are. Maybe he will open up. Is he fucking his girlfriend? If she is not giving him much (or any) sex, then maybe he will confide. Maybe he won't.

I think you need to talk with the guy. Push the envelope - talk more and more explicitly about sex, wanking, horniness. See how he responds.

My good friend married his girl. They seem to rub along. I've seriously wondered if they have ever had sex. Relationships are weird.

Stormy, if you're going to follow this advice, you'll need to get a SAG card, or at least join Actors' Equity!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hey, look, I have real acting experience but I know a WHOLE lot of very manipulative non-actors who put on much bigger shows than this when they wanna steer a situation to their benefit. Besides, that was just one of a handful of ideas. If he doesn't think he can pull it off, he doesn't have to try it.

Yeah, i'm a bit of a shy person myself. Well not really shy just takes me a looooonnnnggg time to fully open up to people. I've had a long history of drama filled friends in my past so I guess that's why I am so cautious. But I really like him and I have even walked out in my tight briefs that are just as revealing as a tightly wrapped tile. That's what really made me think, cause after that he kept glancing at my junk but I just pretended not to see it. Also once I was a actor in one of his movies were he fights me for a diamond. The fight scene he came up with seemed like porn, we fell to the floor together, and he kicks his leg up and gets on top of me, then I somehow roll and get back ontop of him O_o I was sooooooooo nervous about doing that scene, cause I didn't want to get a hard-on haha because I really like him..

I'm 19, and yes it is very very hard to be hidden. I'm the middle of two other sibblings, and both of my brothers know and are supportive of me, but my family is a very religious family and although I know they would still love me, I just don't want them to look at me any different as they are really proud of me right now Also my oldest bro. is completly out and I am holding my time to see if they treat him any different than they have. I don't know, I just feel that I should wait to come out when I am fully independent because right now my mom is helping me through college ya know? And that's what makes me nervous about telling him that I am gay, cause my fam. visits us often.

Yes many of times. When I first met her I was really supportive of the two of them, like you would never have noticed that it was really killing me. But she realized (i guess) just as I did that he does not want her. He only has her because she is female, he loves my personallity and looks better. He laughs with me till like 3 am even on his work days. I have only seen them kiss once, and get this it was a day me and him had an aurgument. After we talked alittle he was soo mean to her, almost as if he wanted me to be pleased with it. He didn't answer the door and she just knocked for like 5mins till she left. I was going to answer it, but I thought (nope stupid move). Also he stalks me, like he somehow knew my entire schedule last semester EVEN MY WORK SCHEDULE O_O. He also goes through my room when I am gone, he thinks I don't know but one day I found a deja vu water bottle in my room when I got in from work, and I know that's his favorite water I only drink auqifina so... but yeah that's what I am trying to figure out atm if he trully is straight or gay, if he is straight it will hurt me alittle but I will get over him...but it might make our friendship abit awquard

O I understand my sexuality completly, I am gay 100% the 1% that I have here is because I am not complelty out due to my family. They are very religious, my uncle is a preacher, my mom is the church secretary, my grams and grandpa are both decons and my aunts all do something for the church. It's really scary cause I love my fam. soooo sooooo much and although I know they will accept me cause my oldest brother is out and they accept him, i'm just scarred they will not be the same with me as they have always been. See in my fam. I am like the smart one, the one thats going to make lots of money createing something new and soar through life. I've always been looked at as an "over acheiver" and with that title comes jealousy. Alot of my family are jealous of me and will jump at the opprotunity to bring me down. so I have this shield up and it's really strong, but if I am at a despreate state it is weak and I just can't afford that ya know? I have always thought of coming out when I am completly independent, but I am looseing my best years and my years to experiment ya know? I don't know I feel so....blah. I have had a GF in highschool, but it was all for show, I never liked her and I was sooooooooo happy when college came cause I had an excuss to dump her and an excuss to be single. I say it's cause I want to dedicate all my time on my work. I've also kissed a guy in highschool once, funny never would have expected him to be gay, but it just happened randomly but he moved our senior year T_T

Funny you should mention that, because he is always saying something about porn around me. I would love to try this, problem is i'm kinda shy myself. I am the type of person that usually just wants the moves made on me, but I guess since I really like him I will have to change my strategey abit hmm.

I know right, I had a gf in highschool and you wouldn't have ever expected me to be gay. But I did not like her, I feel bad but it's just the truth. And once we had to fill out this packet for our school and it required everything from age to nationallity. He saw that I was french creo. and one day he was like "Creos are so fucking hot" the next day out of the blue, that really got me thinking. Also he was just in the living room sitting on the couch listening to me talk on the phone with my friend and she was like should I get a tan? and I said yeah you look better with a tan so the next day i'm at school I get a pic. text from him and it's him at his house in the pool and i'm like ok. Then when I get home he's all read and I was lke wth happened to you he was like (I got a tan) D: but that kinda made me sad cause I really love his pale skin much better, it's so smooth and perfect and it really defines his abs. yeah I think I love this guy -.-

Hey dude - tough call but if I were you I would make it all about jackoff or even sex if it gets that far - but don't go the fallin in love route. I think that would be too heavy. I like a lot of the suggestions so far but my thinking is that the porn (str or bi only) would do th trick... plus a few beers never done any harm.

light, harmless fun and then leave it up to him .... loving n kissing is a sure killer at this stage

just my opinion - no expert - whatever happens enjoy yourself and try not to get hurt.

Later (and we all waiting for the report backs hehe)