Apologies to btrell, his name rung a bell so i checked his posts but not closely enough it appears :-)
I like your writing style, phrased as if you were talking to a friend and I don't really agree that writing should be free of foul language, sometimes the context of the story means that foul language is the only language that can be used in certain places.
'Softly I moved closer, inhaled the musky warm smell of her, as my tongue moved over her plumply pouting pudenda......' just doesn't have the same impact as calling a cunt a cunt.