How to move from 'friendly' to sexual?

Most of the time a girl decides if you're fuckable within the first 5 minutes of knowing you. My advice would be to start meeting new women, and to be confident from the start. You should be kind and caring, but at the same time don't act like you're trying to get them to like you. Make it clear that you are interested, but at the same time don't act like you'll be crushed if she rejects. This might sound a little cold, but you'll have time to be nicer later once a strong interest is established.

Don't try and work on girls that have put you in the friends category, consider them lost causes. Of course you can still be their friend, but don't expect anything more.

Your beer pong situation- just be a bit bolder. This can be hard, but you have to just hold your breath and make a move some times. Next time when you score a cup try putting your arm around her hip (and maybe brush her ass "accidentally"). Don't be disrespectful, but take charge.

Just continue to be confident, it'll all work out for you before you know it.

Yeah i get friend zoned a lot.

My biggest problem was pretty much all of high school i was infatuated with this 1 girl that saw me as just a friend, because at the time i didn't know, but i made the mistake of telling her how much I liked her the first time.

I've learned now that i should NEVER do that!!

I went out with her again recently after a couple years of college, and after the 2nd date she would always happen to be 'busy' whenever i'd ask the next few times and what she told me was she was 'looking to have fun and not a relationship' on the 1st date, and then in the next 3 weeks she's now in a relationship w/ a dude (according to facebook) so that was a load of shit.

I took it hard at first but it didn't hurt as much this time because now i've realized how she sort of led me on and uses/used me as a 'confidence booster' whenever she'd just get out of a relationship since she knew I liked her, and since she knew I was incapable of going to the next lvl i guess she'd get the validation for free and then pit me in competition w/ other guys. (As in use me so other guys know there's another guy interested in her)

But...after realizing all this a couple days later it no longer hurts, it's more of an anger that she'd appear sweet & innocent yet treat me so badly.


So i'm trying to do what I think is best lately to get through it, and that's meeting other women. Luckily through my bandmates i've met a lot of their female friends through them as we're going out more. However, none seem to be interested in me. Then again I haven't had many conversations outside of a couple longer then "Hi, how was your day?" so maybe some of them do hah.



anyway, just the random venting musings of a lonely hobo at 4:30am.

1. get them alone

2. whip it out

The girl that you just described sounds like bad news. I've known a girl that's exactly like what you said- and go figure, I liked her at that point in time. I figured out fast that she wasn't worth it. We still hang out and talk occasionally, but strictly as friends.

If she ever gets flirty or if I feel that she's trying to use me (she's an attractive girl and knows how to get what she wants from a lot of guys) I just plainly tell her to stop. I guess I'm trying to say if you can handle being platonic friends with the girl you mentioned then cool, but don't stress out over it. There's always going to be that hint of tension, but you can't act on it. Even if it does work out temporarily, you won't be able to trust her knowing what she's like.

Sounds like you've done the right thing by moving on. Sometimes getting a girl is just a numbers game, so hang in there.

I wish it was as simple as a math problem.

OK hobo - first of all i am sorry you are so frustrated. But for what its worth, every guy here is giving you good advice.
Every time I have tried to get laid with a hot, girl who was a friend - never worked. Every time I was just myself and paid no attention to trying to get laid....BOOM! The women were/are wanting me to fuck them. It is the weirdest thing. It's not a virgin thing - it happens even to us old guys.
After a dry spell a friend of mine told me 'quit trying so hard!'. I quit trying and got laid immediately.
When I act like a clueless, happy, social guy - all of a sudden women want to have sex with me. The only thing is - I can't act to save my life. lol. So when I am a clueless, happy, social guy...that is when I get laid.
You will be just fine and when you LEAST expect it....you will be reporting back that you got some.
Until then - do what you do. Have fun. And don't forget to flirt and smile and act bashful, but desirous and confident of yourself.
Keep us posted.

This all depends on how mature/well-adjusted she is. If you two can level with each other on some "I exist as you do, and I enjoy pleasure" type shit, then you're in.

If not... you'll be making metaphors and allegories until you can't stand it.

if it's still in print, read the book "Pairing". helped me. for those of you who might think otherwise, this is a significant issue for some guys. it often stems from growing up in a very straight-laced family which put females on an untouchable pedestal. sometimes visiting a therapist or counselor will help a person make changes in those attitudes.