What do you do on Saturdays?

First of all, I have to apologize to kalipygian and DC_Deep, who were kind enough to answer my questions and I've let a week go by without any acknowledgment. I also want to thank everyone else who took the time to reply.

If I owned my own home, I think I would have a garden. My father has a gorgeous perennial garden and my mother is on the gardent tour committee in my home town. One of the things I love most about visiting them in the summer is sitting on the deck and just enjoying the beauty of their yard.

But, I live in an apartment. I am trying to grow potted tomatoes this year (including an experimental upside down tomato plant) plus some herbs.

kalipygian, I like to read, whether it be books or wikipedia or various threads on lpsg, and sometimes I like nothing more than to curl up with a good book. But on a sunny, beautiful Saturday afternoon, that's the last thing I want to do. I can relate to the problem of a lack of friends to do things with.

njreg and DC_Deep, some of the things you mentioned were exactly the sort of things I'm trying to avoid. There are no shortage of errands to be done, but after working hard all week, it's a bit depressing to start my Saturday morning unable to think of anything to do but a long list of chores. On the weekends I'd like to enjoy myself a little, and do something fun. In another thread someone said, "Work to live, don't live to work." I think I'd have more energy to tackle the chores if I felt like I was doing a little living and not just working all the time.

Hence, I'm hesistant to do any volunteer work. I'm so burned out at the end of the week, I don't feel like I have anything left to give. If I tried to take on any on additional committments, I'm not confident that I'd be able to meet them. I am tremendously impressed by and grateful to people like Dragonfly20 and Tardis_69 who volunteer their time.

For the past several years I've spent a tremendous amount of time thinking about what I can do to make my life more enjoyable and fulfilling. I haven't come up with anything. I notice that my neighbors aren't usually home on the weekends. They go out in the morning and don't usually come home until dinner time, or later. I wonder where they go and what they do. That's why I posed the question to this forum. I wanted to find out what people do on Saturdays. Where do they go? What do they do? I've gotten a few answers--thanks, everyone--but it's still a bit of a mystery to me.

Yes, a little bit. Thank you for asking! The day started as usual: checking in at lpsg while eating breakfast. I was determined not to spend too much time on the Internet, so that I could get out of the house and DO something. Well, I spent more time online than I planned, and didn't leave the house until about 3:00, partially because I couldn't decide where to go or what to do. I finally decided to go to Greenfield--a nearby town that I don't visit very often--and explore downtown. Well, it turns out that there isn't really much to downtown Greenfield, so I left and went to Shelburne Falls, which I have previously written about in this thread:

What Beautiful Bridges have you been on?

It was late enough in the day that I didn't have time to go into any of the shops (some were already closed), but that wasn't what I was in the mood for anyway. It was a very hot, humid day, so I went to the glacial potholes.

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Shelburne Falls, MA: Home of the World Famous Bridge of Flowers
Shelburne Falls, MA : Glacial pothole photo
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There were about a dozen hot young guys swimming and jumping off the rocks into the water, so I enjoyed watching them (trying to to be too creepy) while climbing the rocks. One of them was wearing white board shorts with no underwear. I got a good look at his ass through the fabric, but when I walked around to the other side of the rocks to check out his front, there was no visible cock or bulge whatsoever. Oh well.

One guy slid down these little mini waterfalls on his belly. Two of his friends were in the pothole below--sort of like a natural hot tub, but not hot, of course--and had to move lest he land on top of them, which he did with a big splash. The three of them looked rather cozy together in their little stone tub.

http://muddyriver.typepad.com/hearth/images/6-26b.jpg

I could tell a storm was about to break at any moment, but I wanted to enjoy myself for as long as possible. When I began to rain, I decided it was time to go--as did most people there--but that was easier said than done as the rocks are slippery when wet, and I was more than a little worried about falling. It would have been very embarrassing to slip, fall, break my hip, and have to be carried out by the hot young guys.

By the time I got out, it had gone from rain to torrential downpour. I was just as wet as if I had taken a shower with my clothes on. There was no point in ducking into a shop or restaurant to try to stay dry, and I figured they wouldn't appreciate me dripping all over the place, so I just went back to my car. I keep a towel in my car for just such an event, so I stripped off my wet clothes (fortunately I had the foresight to wear nylon shorts underneath my khaki shorts instead of underwear), dried off as best as I could, (the rain had lighted up by then), and drove home half naked.

After dinner I went to the movies and saw Wanted, which was disappointing. Then I went to the local gay club, which was also disappointing. Then I went home and went to bed.

Today I went into down and did some shopping. I usually hate shopping, but today I was in the mood for it. I was delighted to find some really nice crystal martini glasses at TJ Maxx. I also bought a pair of shorts, a roating pan, a cake pan, and a muffin pan. Then I went to the movies again, and saw The Incredible Hulk, which was pretty good. Then I went home, went for a walk, had a late dinner, and here I am.

For me, this was a very fun and active weekend. The problem is, I suspect that next weekend I will be bored again. I won't want to go shopping or go to Shelburne Falls again because I will think to myself, "I just did that last weekend" and there probably won't be any movies that I want to see.

I must admit that my lack of friends is a big part of the problem. But I can't make new friends if I don't get out of the house and find a way to meet people. I find it difficult to find a reason to leave the house, and when I do it never involves doing anything that would lead to meeting people. I like the idea of hanging out at the pool for a couple of hours, but there's no such place here.

Ah! I knew I'd forgotten to do something: try to take over the world. Right, got it. I've made a little note.

Oh, I agree, but the problem I'm having is coming up with activities. So what, dear vince, do you DO to fill up your days?

Did you go with friends? If I had friends who would do that I'd do it, but I don't.

P.S. You have quite an amazing pendulum. I'd love to see it swing.

That's true, and definitely something I need to work on. A couple of weeks ago I went to a drumming and fire circle because one of my few remaining friends insisted I be there. Of course, I arrived a couple of hours before she did and I didn't know anyone there. So I spent a couple of hours thinking, "I don't drum, I don't dance, and I don't sing. What am I doing here." When she arrived, the conversation when something like this:

Her: Are you having fun?
Me: No.
Her: Why not?
Me: I'm bored.
Her: Why don't you mingle and talk to people?
Me: Because I don't know anyone here.

So she took me around and rapidly introduced me to a few people, which was kind of pointless because I still don't know any of them, and they don't know me. The next time I see these people--if I ever do--it's not like I'm going to approach them and insinuate myself into their conversations. I doubt they'd even remember me.

Anyway, she went off to dance and I continued to be bored...until I saw a guy wearing a mask and a black vest with no shirt. I wondered who he was and what he was up to, and the next thing I knew he was holding a pair of flaming rods. Then he, 2 other guys, and one women (all of whom were quite sexy) proceded to perform with various flaming objects, including fire breathing and some other rather risky looking stunts. (There were a few near misses and dropped objects.) The entertainment value made up for the rest of the evening.

I don't know if I'll ever make friends with this crowd, but I will probably go back next month if only to watch the fire spinning.

If you don't think you can contribute to the conversation, and can't think what to say because you don't know someone, ask them a few questions. Most folks love to talk about themselves and it is a great way to break the ice and meet people.

You ask what I do on the weekends. It varies a lot. I don't mind being alone and don't really think of it as boring. However I do have some hobbies and sports that I share with friends. I own three motorcycles at the moment and like to go on one or two days trips either alone or with a friend. For dirt riding a want friends along. All my buddies have sold their enduros, which is the shits, so I have joined a small club that organizes weekend outings.

I have a small rooftop garden that I like to maintain.

I go out and hang with friends at cafes or at the beach.

Life is not all that exciting.. but if you are comfortable with yourself, it doesn't have to be boring.

You make sure to go back to that fire dancing thing. It sounds interesting and if you show your face more than once and can talk to some people you could make some friends. Ask questions about what and why they do what they do. It's sounds like lack of friends and loneliness is your basic problem.

I agree - asking lots of questions about the other person really breaks the ice. You find out what you have in common then take it from there.

I Love Lucy reruns 10-12 on TVLand if at all possible, followed by a workout at the gym. The rest is wildcard.

i usually work in the darkroom or studio
or i goto a concert or an artshow.

lucy was punkrock for her time...she opened a door for women.
i gotta say i love lucy as well. lol.

Saturday..... Saturday....

5am- Wakeup
6am- Out the door to the 52 Bus stop
6:30am- Stop for Coffee and a Sausage Sandwich
7am- Get on Train
8am- Get on Bus
9am- Work Work Work Work
1pm- Nom Nom Nom (Lunch)
2pm- Work... Work... Work...
6pm- El Autobus!
7pm- Train
8pm- Bus
9pm- Sleep

Yay for Saturdays?

Thirded.

It is difficult to meet new people, especially if you are shy or find starting conversations difficult. When I was first here I had the language barrier to contend with as well, still do sometimes, truth be told. You have to persevere.

I was glib in my first response because my actual weekend activities wouldn't be so helpful to you as I understand you don't have kids. I do recall a time before (just about) - when at a loose end, without friends or partner to entertain me, I'd often just wander into town, catch a movie and then eat out, maybe bring a book or buy magazine, or maybe just sit and observe. I'm one of those people who doesn't mind being alone in a crowd, I like watching people. Being alone at a social gathering is somewhat different - but I try to apply the same principle.

Here's a thought. Just do your typical Saturday in reverse order. Next week, why not try going out to breakfast or lunch - take a book or magazine so you have something to read while waiting for your food. After you've been out and gotten started moving, you might feel more in the mood to do something, be it going shopping again (maybe for a good book?) or just trying to soak up a little culture in the area. Then, once you've done something fun you can come home and "reward" yourself with some online time.

I'll admit that I'm far from cultured, whether it's theater, art, food, you name it. I got a wonderful suggestion from a friend today to make myself visit our local art museum. There is a display of the original scroll of Kerouac's "On the Road" (owned by Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay, btw) coupled with photos by Robert Frank at the Indianapolis Museum of Art. I plan to visit sometime within the next few weeks. Okay, so it ain't great culture, but it's something kinda cool. And while I'm there, you can bet I'll be checking out some "real" art and maybe even learn something.

I have a pretty boring job, so I try to make the most of my weekends, and I've found that a good quality weekend to me is just doing what I want. I can take as long as I want at a restaurant and not have to rush back to work. I can wander aimlessly while doing my errands and maybe look at a few different items rather than making my purchases in a hurry. I catch up on reading my too many magazine subscriptions, tearing out articles that I want to re-read or that I might want for future reference.

I grew up on a farm with our closest neighbors several miles away. I learned to play by myself or with my sisters. It's either entertain yourself or don't get entertained.

Years ago, when I was complaining about something personal while at work, my boss's boss's boss overheard me and said, "You know, I've always felt that a person is responsible for his own happiness." As simple as that sounds, it made a huge impact on my outlook, which is why I do what I can to make things interesting.

I hope you take these thoughts and suggestions to heart, Meniscus. I think we all get bored on occasion, but it's also up to us to remedy that situation.

It's true that in social situations I often can't think of anything to say, or I feel that I have anything to contribute to the conversation, so that's a good suggestion. But if I'm in a social situation with people I don't know, I have no idea how to approach people and enter into a conversation. I feel like I'm intruding.

You're right. I will go back. I'll be surprised if it happens, but maybe someone will remember me and at least say "hi." I can actually hold my own in a conversation pretty well, if I get the opening. Thanks for your help.

Well, yes, if I have anything in common with them, which is rare.

I hope you don't think I was offended by your first response. I thought it was funny as hell. I love Pinky & the Brain. Back in 1996 I wanted the Brain to run for president. "Put a Brain in the White House" could have been his slogan.

I especially loved the episode where the Brain joins Megalomaniacs Anonymous. After a while, he comes to realize that it's not wrong for him to want to rule the world; the world would truly be a better place if he were in charge.

That's another good idea. I have actually done that before, and I usually have a better day when I do. I just find it really hard to get moving and get myself out the door.

I've seen that! Several years ago it was on display at the art museum at my old college.

Ugh, I know you're right, but you've hit a bit of a sore spot with me. I know that I'm just as smart as many of the senior managers at my company, and more committed and hard working, but I've observed "success" is more about attitude, "emotional intelligence," networking, relationship building, and all those other things that I suck at. What you're boss's boss's boss said strikes me as just the sort of thing that I've heard from various happy, successful people. Hearing talk like that makes me want to get one of those buttons that says, "I love my bad attitude." I think what bothers me about that sort of platitude is that the people who say such things fail to recognize that they were blessed with certain talents that don't come so easily to the rest of us.

Honestly, any time I've dared to be happy, it seems like the universe has conspired to do something nasty to me. After a while, I learned to stop trying. I guess I need to unlearn that.

In spite of what I just said, I will try. Thanks.

Do you have any friends to hang out? Everybody bring something for a potluck, and play games. We used to play cards or dominoes every single Saturday night. I sure miss thoies times. We had a lot of laughs along the way.

The first thing that I do every day is make a liter of coffee and play on the computer for an hour or so while I savor the coffee. Then I try to fit in as many of the following activities, alone or with friends, as possible:

1. thoroughly clean my bike and lube the chain
2. clean the apartment
3. go for a bike ride
4. work in the garden
5. do the laundry
6. go food shopping at Costco, Trader Joe's, and Henry's
7. cook something to bring to work for lunches
8. go to the beach
9. go out to lunch
10. sort the mail and clean my desk

I'll go with you to Costco. We can buy a case of giant condoms, and split it.