Best Quotes

Haha. StapledShut, that was a good one. Made me laugh!

"Unable to suppress love, the Church wanted at least to disinfect it, and it created marriage."
Charles Baudelaire

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"I don't let my mouth say nothin' my head can't stand" -- Louis Armstrong

"You'll never find yourself until you face the truth" -- Pearl Bailey

"It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop" -- Confucius

"Experience is not what happens to you, it is what you do with what happens to you" -- Aldous Huxley

"My favorite kinds of pussy are big 'ol good ones and good old big ones" -- My brother

This one is especially appropriate for Et Cetera-

"The height of stupidity is most clearly demonstrated by the individual who ridicules something he knows nothing about." -- Albert Einstein

Pervs and Deviants, please Click Here

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I like your brother...

this river's full of lost sharks

" Any fool can know. The point is to understand " - Einstein

" If you tighten the string to tight it will snap , but if it is too loose it will not play " - Two sailors speaking overheard by Siddhartha Guatama (Buddha) (this lead him to realize walking the "middle path" and led directly to his "great enlightenment".

" ...better just deal with whatever comes your way...while we speak , time is envious and is running away from us. seize the day , trusting little in the future..." - Horace (carpe deim)

"...now some of these new rappers got they caps flipped backwards with they fingers intertwined in some gang sign madness, I got an exam to see if ya pass it, let's see who can quote a Daddy Kane line the fastest..." - Nas

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"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." --George W. Bush

"Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas? ... That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." --George W. Bush

"Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction. Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit." --George W. Bush, addressing Australian Prime Minister John Howard at the APEC Summit, Sept. 7, 2007

On the first day of creation, man created god

Proof or it didn't happen

Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
- Douglas Adams

Uncut and loving it

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He's wrong.Dental treatment without anasthetic is worse!


Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. - W.C Fields

Dandelion Radio

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright

On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright


I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg

I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.
Mitch Hedberg

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
Mitch Hedberg

I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Mitch Hedberg


The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Mitch Hedberg