a thread for those shot down

[hootie]

Originally Posted by 15shooter

At least the money will buy lots of Viagra!

aww that's sad. Okay, turn off the lights, take off your shirt, jiggle your manly boobs, and stand under the artwork of the lioness.

[15shooter]

Originally Posted by eastbaydude

Sklar, thanks.

"Actually, yes. You're really not my type but I'm trying to build up the courage to ask your incredbily hot friend out." OR "Yes, that was a pity hi."

I think I may use that line. In fact, all your lines were prtty good. Hey, you up for joining me one night and feeding me lines. Maybe we can pull a Cyrano e Bergerac thing.

I agree with some of the other posters here. With as HOT looking and in great shape man as you are and living in THE CITY, it is hard to believe that *you* are not hit on the minute you walk through the door. Perhaps, instead of you trying to do the work, let them approach you?

If that doesn't work, it's time to use that 10% and find friendly gay establishment where you *will* be hit on the minute you walk in the door!

[hootie]

Dang! I was hoping he'd find that to be a turn on.

[Draconis71]

Originally Posted by eastbaydude

Guys -

Gay men are lucky. Those all sound like really good, valid excuses. You can't beat a committed relationship or being straight. Even prefering small Asian guys is a dead end street if you're not small and/or Asian.

Try going to a str8 bar and hitting on chicks...

"No thanks. I'm just here with some friends". Two minutes later she's giggling with some other guy.

"I'm here with my boy friend". Two minutes later she's giglling with her girl friends.

"I already have a drink" is her response to "Hi."

"What do you do for a living?" is her response to "Hi."

"Want to by me a drink?" is her reposne to "Hi."

"Who is your friend?" is her response to "Hi."

"You're kidding, right" is her response to "Hi."

There is a distinct power disparity between the sexes. Two girls or two guys are already on the same plaing field. Just once, I'd like to have the upper hand. Maybe I shuld hang out at bar next to the theater showing Sex in they City.

Ok, yeah, I've been shot down more than a few times.

Heh, ya missed the "buy me a drink"... she slugs back the drink, and vanishes... to be seen, giggling with the next guy... telling him to buy her a drink.

[Lito]

I've been shot down for numerous reasons... I don't think I could expect to get my way everytime. Sure, some will hurt more than others, but I've learned to pick myself up and keep walking.

[d-low1]

Originally Posted by Draconis71

Heh, ya missed the "buy me a drink"... she slugs back the drink, and vanishes... to be seen, giggling with the next guy... telling him to buy her a drink.

ARGH yes, one of the most irritating things ever especially if you've been talking to them a bit and you think you've broken ice and gotten a rapport going. I HATE being hustled.

[davidjh7]

Women seem to play more games than men in the mating game--although men do their fair share. I have gotten shot down so many times, I have just given up completely. I don;t go to bars at all anymore--it's a total waste of time and money for me. Usually, men are more direct.."Fuck off, troll" is always a favorite, or a simple "EWWWWWWWW" gets the point across.

[AZBiGuy]

Originally Posted by d-low1

ARGH yes, one of the most irritating things ever especially if you've been talking to them a bit and you think you've broken ice and gotten a rapport going. I HATE being hustled.

d-low1 - you could hustle me ANYday!

[d-low1]

Originally Posted by 15shooter

1. I agree with some of the other posters here. 2. With as HOT looking and in great shape man as you are and living in THE CITY, it is hard to believe that *you* are not hit on the minute you walk through the door. 3. Perhaps, instead of you trying to do the work, let them approach you?

1. I'll throw in my agreement as well.

2. Eh, I can't speak for him, but I can say that while the city has it's advantages (more options, more people) but its got drawbacks (more competition, higher standards). You can the Brad Pitt of a small town and have your pick of the crop, but once you hit the metro area as a straight guy you're up against tens of thousands of guys who can match or exceed you in every category.

3. Here's the problems with the "lay-and-prey" (aka hold back, let them work for your attention, then strike) strategy: It can come across that instead of "lay-and-prey" what you're really doing is "lay-and-pray": in other words, you're coming across as desperate, hoping, and not really that worthwhile.

Or it looks like you're just "laying" without the "preying": in other words, you're out there, but it looks like you're inaccessible, intimidating, aloof, or just disinterested and bored. I notice this seems to be a problem especially if you're rolling around to new places solo, where you know nobody, nobody knows you, and you're not a flamboyant or extremely out-going personality.

And of course the other big factor is where you stand in relation to the rest of the eligible meat that's floating around out there. It's one thing if you can look around and know that you're the best option in there; it's another when you've got dozens of comparably worthy peers surrounding you.

If that doesn't work, it's time to use that 10% and find friendly gay establishment where you *will* be hit on the minute you walk in the door!

No doubt . But we don't know how far his gay 10% extends to. If the thread on that topic is any indication, it could be one of like a dozen possibilities.

[psosandra]

Originally Posted by Sklar

Here you go Eastbaydude - -
"I'm here with my boy friend". Two minutes later she's giglling with her girl friends. From what I've learned, talking to my straight guy friends and girl friends, when a gaggle of girls go out together they mainly just want to go out and dance and have a good time. Not seek a sexual encounter. It's the girls that are by themselves or in groups of 2 that seem to want to play more than girls in groups of 3 or more who just want to go out and have a good time dancing and socializing.

Hope that helped!

Sklar

this is so true!! My friends and I follow a local band. When we're out, there's usually at least 6 of us, and we just want to dance and have fun. None of us are ever knowingly rude to guys who approach us, but that's not why we're there. And I will dance with anyone who asks, I figure it takes balls to come up and ask, and I love to dance.

Now when one of the girls is looking for a guy, just she and I will go out somewhere, I'm a great wingman!

[ntstatic]

Originally Posted by ChockoKittie

For me it isn't really a case of being shot down.
I just can't believe the one person I really, really like, puts his mother above everything.

He says it is a Greek thing, a tradition. I realize he is the youngest in his family and the only male child still near her, but still. He sees the problem and won't fix it. So, I tried. We can't be together, and I am now being open to other men.


Is it that bad?
This makes me never want to turn anyone down again.
Does it matter if it is done in a nice/friendly manner or just any rejection hurts?

ChockoKittie - you must realize that the person who respcts his /her parents so much in this day and age really values his relationship. Imagine how faithfull he can be to you.

This kind of a relationship of a parent / child is totally different from any other kind. i know not many here will appreciate it. only certain cultures - or you can say - only we "backward" ancient cultured people know what it means and believe me you would find it lacking even in those cultures.

There is always some kind of an envy where the spouse or the lover always feels that he/she is not getting all of the love.

If you can, respect him, and his respect for his mother.

[Peaceful-Kancer]

Originally Posted by eastbaydude

Guys -

Gay men are lucky. Those all sound like really good, valid excuses. You can't beat a committed relationship or being straight. Even prefering small Asian guys is a dead end street if you're not small and/or Asian.

Try going to a str8 bar and hitting on chicks...

"No thanks. I'm just here with some friends". Two minutes later she's giggling with some other guy.

"I'm here with my boy friend". Two minutes later she's giglling with her girl friends.

"I already have a drink" is her response to "Hi."

"What do you do for a living?" is her response to "Hi."

"Want to by me a drink?" is her reposne to "Hi."

"Who is your friend?" is her response to "Hi."

"You're kidding, right" is her response to "Hi."

There is a distinct power disparity between the sexes. Two girls or two guys are already on the same plaing field. Just once, I'd like to have the upper hand. Maybe I shuld hang out at bar next to the theater showing Sex in they City.

Ok, yeah, I've been shot down more than a few times.

Sounds like a synopsis of my life...

[d-low1]

Originally Posted by AZBiGuy

d-low1 - you could hustle me ANYday!

Well if it were pool, I'd say alright. But when it comes to other areas, I like to work an honest game, so I won't hustle ya there.

Anyway, one of the more darkly humorous things when I started posting pics lately was that at least 5-6 people sent messages roughly along the lines "how do your girlfriends like your cock dude?" or "WOW the ladies must love you" and it's like wait, what? I have a girlfriend? The ladies love me?

Somebody must have forgotten to tell them that. Because with a few exceptions, that's not been case at all, at least on the IRL dating scene. I've had better luck since going online to find my ladies but it has been about 4 months since I last got anything, and then 2 years before that, and then before that, nada.

If it's any consolation, most of the people I know think I must be getting laid like you wouldn't believe. It's somewhat annoying to find out actually.