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Not sure about my friend

I have recently become friends with a married man. Until recently I believed him to be absolutely straight. (by the way, this is his third marriage-according to him, his first two wives cheated on him

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Old 06-09-2008   #1 (permalink)
joe1 is offline
Not sure about my friend

I have recently become friends with a married man. Until recently I believed him to be absolutely straight. (by the way, this is his third marriage-according to him, his first two wives cheated on him several times prior to divorce) Lately, however, I am beginning to wonder about him. I don't think he has reason to believe that I am bi, but when we are alone, he often turns the conversation to sex, sometimes giving intimate details about how hard he was and for how long he was erect before and after intercourse. He doesn't actually describe the act or his "equipment" although he has mentioned several times that he sometimes suffers from "numbness" due to a surgery. The other day in the car he made a joke and he actually grabbed my leg about mid thigh and sqeezed. And when with his wife, after I hug her hello or goodbye, he usually does the same to me
but sort of a full body contact hug. He also is often a little "touchy feely" with me even while we are just sitting around chatting. Not sure how to take this. He is really hot and I would not mind a j/o buddy or even an occasional BJ, but not at the expense of our friendship. What do you guys think?
 
Old 06-09-2008   #2 (permalink)
eastbaydude is offline

Hey Buddy -

If you're interested in getting together with your freind only you can decide what you're going to do.

But... guys who are totally striaght do talk about sex, do touch other guys, and do hug.

If you're looking for clues, don't count on these as sure things.
 
Old 06-09-2008   #3 (permalink)
BBTM is offline

I think you are reading too much into it. So people are just the touchy feely type and like to give full hugs... Does he do that to other guys?
 
Old 06-09-2008   #4 (permalink)
AZBiGuy is offline

Quote:
Originally Posted by BBTM View Post
I think you are reading too much into it. So people are just the touchy feely type and like to give full hugs... Does he do that to other guys?
I agree.. observe his behavior with other guys. You may be reading too much into it because you want to (believe ME! I've been there my friend.)

And you've got to let him make the first move. If you want to, hint about being bi ("Hey, I only did that in college..." "Only when I'm really drunk..." type stuff)... see if he bites.

Be careful! :)
 
Old 06-09-2008   #5 (permalink)
killerb is offline

he might just be an affectionate person...
but if he's thinking about making a move on you, he will eventually make it.
 
Old 06-10-2008   #6 (permalink)
Kaicho is offline

Heh, this is interesting. I have a friend (i'm in the military) who's married and when I met him... he did very very similar stuff. Except, the VERY first night we drank together, he popped out his dick and was tryin to get me to look at it. So, I thought to myself while drunk... "Ira, do you look and stare? or do you realize his wife is standing right behind him waiting for you to react?" ... I pretended not to notice and stare at their TV.

Later on, he had a full blown hard on and walks up to me while i was on his computer, and presses it into my right arm.... very hot. But i pretended not to be interested. Something about not wanting to mess with married guys, despite how hot they are, etc.

Then it happened... he says "Hey man, let me show you something." i turn around, and he's holding his meat in is hand... showing me scars (if any) from circumcision he'd gotten 2 years prior, but then he started to squeeze it a bit and got rock hard.... i leaned over the counter to hide my erection, thanked him for the view, and headed out the door. As I texted him after I left, he said he wished that I had reacted a different way. We're still good friends with tremendous sexual tension, but I kind of enjoy him wanting me. hah!

So, to answer your question... if he IS interested, then he'll definitely let you know eventually. Give it time man! Also, enjoy it... the chase is half the fun.
 
Old 06-10-2008   #7 (permalink)
dc9
dc9 is offline

If it were me, and I have been that guy in this situation, I would let you know, not play games.
 
Old 06-10-2008   #8 (permalink)
dreamer20 is offline

Quote:
Originally Posted by joe1 View Post
...I am beginning to wonder about him... he often turns the conversation to sex, ... he has mentioned several times that he sometimes suffers from "numbness" due to a surgery.
The other day in the car he made a joke and he actually grabbed my leg about mid thigh and squeezed. And after hello or goodbye, he usually does a full body contact hug. He also is often a little "touchy feely" with me even while we are just sitting around chatting. Not sure how to take this. He is really hot and I would not mind a j/o buddy or even an occasional BJ, but not at the expense of our friendship. What do you guys think?

He's a "touchy feely" friend who trusted you with details from his sex life. That is all. Be "touchy feely" and intimate with him too. Yet don't risk losing his friendship.
 
Old 06-11-2008   #9 (permalink)
The Greek Dude is offline
Banned

Quote:
Originally Posted by joe1 View Post
The other day in the car he made a joke and he actually grabbed my leg about mid thigh and sqeezed.

This is usually a a guy's body language for "i'm into you," but some guys are just closer and more open than other guys. . .this doesn't necessarily mean that he's bi/gay/curious. The safest bet would be to play "tennis" with him by mimicking his actions when given the opportunity, and see if it goes anywhere from there.

Example: He talks about his hard-ons, so you start talking about yours.

Example: he gets touchy feely with you, so you start hugging him longer. . .

As long as you don't out-right hit on him. . .I don't think it could go too bad. If all else fails, bring alcohol into the picture and pay attention to how he acts towards you; alcohol is Truth Serum, and lessens inhibitions.
 

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