Is it worth it?

So, recently (as in the last year or so) I've noticed a noticeable decline in my interest in sex. Could be because of the bf or could be something else. I don't know. I'll get an erection, but without constant stimulus, I won't stay hard. When I want to ejaculate, I can. But I'll still be half hard.

I'm dreading it being impotence coming on. Do you guys think it's worth it to go and see a sex therapist? I mean, are they serious or just some gimmick?

If you're not able to maintain an erection (without your boyfriend in the room) then don't blame your boyfriend. Something wrong with you.

My question was about a sex therapist. Not if my bf was the problem. AND, you know nothing of my bfs and my history. So, reread and try again.

While still young, a guy in his mid-thirties is old enough to have occasional problems with erectile dysfunction. The best way to make sure everything's all right down there is to go a Urologist. It won't hurt, and might lead to the discovery of an underlying problem.

If the issue turns out to not be physical, then the only other options are emotional/mental. This is not to say that a therapist dealing with sexual-specific issues is required, but it might not hurt.

From personal experience, I can say that my mid-thirties were a time of sexual/psychosexual limit-pushing and a time of resetting what had always been unbreachable boundaries.

Experimenting with certain pleasures that you'd previously considered off-limits can open the door to whole new avenues of sexual self-expression. This will impact not just you and your sexual response, but will likely stimulate your partner's interest in his own repertoire.

I would think stress/worry issues.

When work is really grinding me down, interest in sex is not very high.

There's no need to get all uppity.

I reread your post and I think it's just smashing (insert eye rolls) that the first reason that you list as for your lack of hardness is your boyfriend. Niiiiice.

I stand behind my previous post.

You are 36... you do NOT need a therapist. You need a urologist.


Its NOT in your head... its in your veins... its in your heart function, its in your genes.


You may need to try a boner pill.... they work by counteracting the effect of aging on your arterial system.


Seriously... from 36 or so on, for the majority of men, decline in sexual response and performance is purely a physiological issue... not a psychological one.

Get checked out... decline in sexual function can be an early predictor of High blood pressure and/or diabetes.

maybe its time for some viagra.

how is your health? exercise? this all plays a factor in how you perform..

active guys cum more and get harder... is this you?

Your decline in libido could be a warning sign of any number of conditions, from depression to hypertension to diabetes. Before you go see a sex therapist, I would go to a medical doctor--preferably a urologist--to rule out any physiological problems. The most likely situation is that there may not be any serious problems, but it doesn't really pay to take chances.

Ok, thanks for the helpful ideas. Gonna make an appointment with a urologist. There are some other things that were listed that may have something to do with it.

I would see the GP if I was in you.

Low libido could be psychological too, do you do a lot of sport?

Well, I'm lifting and such. I'll be going back to my sport probably in the fall. There have been some psychological stressors going on. I do have issues with depression, but it's never caused this before.

Start with a urologist. If he can't find a physical problem, then it could be just stress and you might have to see a doctor for that. Good luck.

Have your testosterone levels checked. I statred to have the same problems in my mid-30's. After five years of searching (GP, Shrink, Urologist) finally found a Endo who discovered I had low testosterone. Treatment is easy and effective. The most common in the US is either patches, gels or shots. Most insurances will pay for treatment. Most people think of low testosterone as an "old man" problem, but in reality mst men's levels start to decline by age 30. The rate of decline is influnced by many factors. By the way, it is a REALLY GOOD idea for all men to have there level checked so they can establish a baseline for future reference. It will make getting treatment, if the need ever arises, much easier! I am in my mid-40's now and have the sex drive and abilities I had when I was 20! I'm not pushing "medical intervention"...just a thought.