Don't sell yourself short TK. You may well cross his mind more than you are aware. As one who has abused booze and various medications, I can tell you that when I was absorbed into those elements, I did indeed think of certain people--often fondly and always with remorse for what I had become and how I had hurt them. Not one day passed when I did not think of my children or my sister, but I went years without any contact because anytime I would start to dial the number or pen a letter, my shame and guilt would prevent it from happening. On the positive side my sister Olivia and I did have some good moments while I was initially sobered up and I talked with her twice more after I got cleaned up again last year before her passing. My son Jimmy is closer to me than ever and has been the glue which has held me together--more than a few times.

What I am saying here is, that he is in a place right now, but hoepfully that place will not be his place forever and one day you may be able to set forth together on the next leg of your companionship. Things change and people change--do not despair.