male virgins

well, if it's any consolation, Sir Isaac Newton is the world's oldest virgin. He was in his 80s when he died, back in the late 17th century

If you don't count men/boys that died young of unnatural causes and only consider how many men die old and virgins, then...

I see some guys in their 20's or older that are extremely overweight I would believe that they never have sex and probably never will, unless they are willing to go to a prostitute. I guess a lot of them were overweight as teenagers so probably never lost their virginity then.

After a while I believe someone that is still a virgin just comes to accept it, so it may be true that after a certain age it becomes likely that they will die a virgin.

Among the men that are decent looking but still virgins into their 20's or later, I believe it's because of the way they were brought up. They were made to feel guilty about wanting sex, or that sex is bad, so they hold back from making the first move that will lead to sex. It's kind of like they act like women expecting the other person to make a move first, but women are expecting the man to make the first move. So it never happens. The woman just thinks he is not interested in her.

I don't believe the idea that some people are just asexual. I think almost everyone wants sex even if they appear to not be interested. It's just that they are to shy about appearing sexual because of being conditioned by society to think sex is a bad thing.

I'm still a virgin and proud of it! By choice, but sometimes I regret me not losing it yet but most of the time I'm glad I didn't... I know a lot of grils that like the fact that I'm a virgin, so I don't get all sad over it because it's not a shame, unlike some of you say... Guys pride themselves in taking a girl virginity, so I guess girls don't do the same?

I agree with you Jovial. My overweight nephew is 28 and thinks he has no chance of ever getting laid because of his body. It's too bad because he is a really good guy. He has no sexual confidence and is depressed by his situation. I think he may die a virgin.

One of my best friends didn't lose it until he was 29. He wound up marrying the girl too. He was normal acting guy, but extremely shy around women and had anxiety about "not knowing how to do it". Sex was a topic that was taboo in his parent's house. I would introduce him to girls and double date and he could barely think of a thing to say in the situation. After he lost his virginity, he really changed and became a much more relaxed guy.

[quote] Have you tried to help or encourage him to do a fitness program to lose weight? There is a young guy that comes into chat and he often obsess' about the fact he is a virgin. Then he admits to being approximately 85 lbs. overweight. He thinks people should accept him as he is and weight shouldn't matter. We have tried to explain to him that this is naive on his part. Let's face it fat is the last 'acceptable' prejudice.

IMO, Overweight male and female virgins have made a choice. They have chosen food over intimacy due to fear. The 'what if' scares them. What if they lose weight and they still don't meet the right person and have sex. What if their life doesn't improve, they don't get a promotion etc. etc. Remaining overweight is easy.

Quote:

One of my best friends didn't lose it until he was 29. He wound up marrying the girl too.

Did he marry her because it was easier than asking another girl out and starting over again from scratch.

Quote:

He was normal acting guy, but extremely shy around women and had anxiety about "not knowing how to do it". Sex was a topic that was taboo in his parent's house. I would introduce him to girls and double date and he could barely think of a thing to say in the situation.

I have talked to quite a few guys here that say the exact same thing. I'm quite frankly mind-boggled by this recent trend of grown men being almost panic stricken at the thought of talking to a woman. Some of them come from large families and have older and younger sisters. I know that talking to a sibling is nothing like speaking to some one you 'like' but it is at least practice so that girls aren't such a mystery.

It's not because of how I was brought up (not very religious at all), and it's not really taboo either, I was just never talked to about sex by my parents (my school offered a speaker to come). So I never felt that comfort from them to pursue the whole girlfriend thing. I don't know how else to explain it. Partially it was me that never wanted to talk about it with them either. The whole embarassment thing.

I am a decent looking guy, I mean people certainly tell me I am. I am just painfully shy around anyone I don't know, that includes men too. So it was always hard for me to make friends, I have had very few friends in my life. With friends comes confidence and all those important life skills. I never had that. I'm just now starting to gain that confidence, but it's slow. I know it won't happen all at once anyways.

I have always had anxiety in social situations, ever since I was very little, I can't help it. I'm just trying to deal with it the best I can.

I don't think for a minute I will die a virgin, I just know it will take longer than the majority to lose it. I've always been a late bloomer.

[quote=njqt466;1491672]My nephew was overweight as a child. I have encouraged him to exercise and eat right. I actually had him jogging for a couple months when he stayed with me four years ago. He lost about thirty pounds, but as soon as he returned to the U.S. he put it back on. I wouldn't say that remaining overweight is easy, but you are right it could be a good cover for the fear of failure.

My 29 yo virgin friend fell in love with his first sexual partner before she popped his cherry. He wasn't consciously saving himself for the right woman, but that's the way it worked out.

Well... yes and no.

I've always had that sense of not being the same as other guys when I was growing up. Other men had an instinctive desire for women, they could be complete arseholes, classic immature bastard stereotype but women loved it and were always attracted to them. I just never understood how or what they had or where doing.

I was desperate to know to, I didn't want to be some odd freak. A friends once said to me, as a man either you have a warrior's instinct and women want you and men want to be with you, or you don't and that I didn't. I was really hurt by that as other guys seemed to understand and I didn't.

But whenever I tried to get close to a women, within minutes they just perceived me to be not as sexually threatening like other guys and bang, I'd fallen instantly into the 'you make me laugh' or worse 'just good friends' category.

The more you try, the more you butch up and have a go, the more 'awww, you're cute' rejections I got and there is a point you stop trying.

Then in my mid twenties, I started to make sense to me that I was most likely gay. I sure as hell wasn't expecting that epiphany and I was distressed, shocked and disgusted with myself for a fair few years. I was attracted to men but would never have spoken to one sexually, I wanted to but I had grown up being told that was sick and wrong. Real men just didn't do that.

Now, although firmly in the closet, I know in my heart I'm gay and I fell I'm almost read to try and see if I can find someone to love me. I am effectively at the same stage as many straight 16 year old guys are.

Yes I am afraid to try, ironically men also intimidate me, but basically I do understand how women can induce a panic attack in a bloke, I just wish more women understand how they do that too. I would rather have played a video game then be told I'm a cute funny friend while my mates were getting shagged. I do believe in fate and destiny and yes, I guess in my heart I would rather be alone than suffer the odd desperation in see in so many straight people to be with anyone, doesn't matter who, just anyone than be alone.

I want 'someone' not 'anyone' or the 'next one'.

I hope to be brave enough one day to fully accept myself and find someone but until then, perhaps you are right, I am choosing to be alone.

Pup, x

No one should assume that you either need to be physically unattractive or socially awkward to end up like this. I'm neither. At 6'3" 175 lbs, I've had girls say I'm cute (which I've heard through the grapevine). However, when I actually when I actually tried to get with these girls, nothing ever came of it. They'd act like we were just two pals hanging out, when what I really wanted was to get them into bed.

Although I'm fairly introverted, I can force myself to be social and approach girls without any anxiety. Things go pretty smoothly; I have no trouble getting them to laugh and open up. It just never escalates. At best, we become "friends."

Having gone 21 years without being intimate with a girl, I feel like my only option is escorts. Attracting a girl and having sex with her... it all seems so implausible to me, like winning the lottery or something. And it's not like things are going to get any easier as age takes its toll.

Being what I'd consider an average guy, I can only assume I'm not an anomoly either. I also believe this is a relatively new phenomenon. 50 (maybe even 30) years ago, pretty much all guys had at least one woman. Now it seems that you either have many or none at all.

Guess that puts you in the 'either physically unattractive or socially awkward' lot as well, though, perhaps you dont' know it yet.

I agree with Rugby. What is 'physically attractive' today is held to a much higher societal standard.... Also, 50 years ago women had less independance. They are now more free to pick and choose a man. Granted, 50 years ago is almost 1960 now and I'm refering more towards 1950.

Oops. I was actually referring to the guys whom some posters were speaking of, not the posters themselves, though perhaps my writing didn't get that across. I just fixed it.

And yes, you could be right. Based on my life experience, I don't think you are, but it's possible I guess.

Women have the hymen which is proof that they are a virgin, men don't have the same thing as virginity amoungst men is presumably of absolutely no value as far as evolution or society is concerned.

So as far as the question is concerned, who cares - we men are disposable.

I will say on ething though, when a woman is with me, its always her first time.