Do NON-EFFEMINATE gay men still exist?

Every gay guy i've ever talked to that made the claim to be "straight-acting" was a total flamer, and even Ray Charles could easily see that they were gay. The more "straight-acting" men who have gay sex seem to actually identify as bi, or are living a "straight" double life.



Thoughts?

I think a lot of gay men say they're "straight-acting" because they're afraid of the consequences of being too gay. Femmy guys bear the vast majority of homophobia in society and so it's no surprise some would identify with this "straight-acting" internalized homophobia silliness.

Also, homos who do not "act gay" are basically impossible to separate from the rest of the world until you a) live next door to them b) see them with cocks in their mouths. These guys go uncounted when people think of homos.

Oh Hell yes they still exist and in large numbers. If you aren't finding them then I suggest you're looking in the wrong place.

Terms like "effeminate" and "straight-acting" are basically meaningless... what we're really talking about here is whether, and to what extent, some segment of the population fits into a stereotypical view of prescribed gender roles.

This question misses the whole point. Being gay is all about freedom--the freedom to be exactly who you are, to express yourself in whatever way you are comfortable. Being gay is precisely about NOT conforming to any stereotypes or artificial constructions about how a man is "supposed" to act.

I hope that one day more people will come to realize that diversity is our greatest strength and that they should celebrate difference instead of judging or questioning it.

Maybe you just have a gift for bringing out a gay guy's inner-woman. Seriously, though, there are lots of non-effeminate card-carrying gays who aren't hiding from anyone or anything--it's just who they are. Perhaps you just can't spot the butch ones.

yup theyre definitely out there.

I'm as "Straight-actin" queer as they come :)

I agree. I think the poster's problem might be 'looking' too hard.

Maybe stop asking if a guy you are interested in is 'Straight-Acting' and just start hooking up. I think the 'menu-item' way of looking for sex/ love/ partnership is a bit ridiculous. Just see where your initial interest takes you.

I also think the Straight-Acting label is bullshit. There are as many ways to act Straight as there are Gay. What are you REALLY interested in??? Sounds like you might not be clear.

with superman as your icon? just kidding.

they are out there, you jsut have to find them.

hey! superman is nerdy, not homo

clark kent was nerdy... superman is a whole nother story :-)

He's WAAAAAAY homo, dude. Wears tights..with a CAPE???? That's about as Gay as you can get. Elton John used to wear capes in his concerts. Batman wears a cape (also way Gay).

And Superman changes clothes in a closet! Well, a phone booth, but it's kinda the same.

LOL

I disagree. The only effeminate gay man I ever met was a drag queen by night and asst. manager of a womens clothing store by day.

I'm not saying all effeminate gay men are drag queens. But I know a heck of a lot of non-effeminate gay men in real life. Maybe it's their careers that are gay and I just never knew it? Nah, last time I checked lawyers, investment bankers, and real estate were not "gay careers."

I'm sure there's plenty. You just wouldn't suspect from looking at them that they're gay, for that reason.