Relaxation and dilation. Repeat as needed.

Increase the diameter of the dildos gradually and use lots of lube.

Vaginal infections, candidiasis, etc. may be present.

There may be a history of abuse, whether the abuse is sexual, emotional or mental it has a nasty affect on a womans ability to be emotionally and sexaully receptive.

It has been nearly 33 years for us and she is still trying to figure/work it out.