Dating married men

It's kinda scary how many people automatically assume that married=monogamous. Not saying that such a conclusion is wrong - in most cases it is, sure. But it is the case that there are married people out there who are not monogamous and who aren't cheating. Just for example:

• Swingers
• Polyamorous couples
• People who are gender-monogamous

Not saying you have to agree with it, just that such things exist, and these things are not the same as cheating.

Face it dear, some of us are hedonistic bastards, not to mention pec, tit and crotch pigs, and we don't expect women to understand. In my buds' cases, neither of them have children. As for redemption and all that other santimonious crap, tell someone that cares. Personally, I really don't want to hook up with anyone (male or female) that wants commitment. My life is fine and I like it that way. I swear your judgemental retorts sound as if they were written by Italian1 before he left and you appeared on these forums. Otherwise, like I implied, you sound as tho you been victimized.

They will get whats coming to them??????????
Hey, kitten with a whip, been cheated on much?

[quote=Ms.Teacher;1454525]You're right. But he is having sex with his "friends" behind their wives backs. That is not being a very good friend when he's part of the deceit, and it's not swinging, polyamorous, or gender monogamous; it's cheating, plain and simple.

If their wives are fine with it, cool, but it's apparent they don't have a clue what is going on. I could understand it happening a few times, since nobody is perfect, but allowing it to go on for over 12 years is crazy.

Quote:

He and others in the same position will get what's coming to them one of these days.

Quote:

Karma can be a bitch.

What exactly do you think is coming to them? You make it sound as if the wrath of God shall smite them. As for Karma being a bitch you are correct. However, if I were you I would be more worried about my own sanctimonious butt landing in eternal damanation.

I have no interest in married men. Why should they get bonus sex? I'm single and I don't really see what married men would have over single men unless you're trying to avoid emotional attachment. But it's easy enough to find guys who aren't into emotional attachment who are single. Unfortunately, I've had sex with married men and women because they've lied about or hidden their marriages. As soon as I find out, I'm gone and I end up thinking the people are scum for the deception to me and their partner. But that's just my personal experience.

No, you don't want to hook up with with anyone who wants commitment, but that's what their wives wanted when they married your friends. There are a lot of other fish in the sea. And just because they have no children doesn't make it right. And if they have children you won't have sex with them anymore? Yeah, right! You have a good thing going and you don't want it to ever end no matter who gets hurt. Someday their wives will find out and they will be hurt.


No, I haven't been cheated on, but you can only do wrong for so long before it catches up with you.

Whoever said the wrath of God? Atheists have decency, too. Do you treat people with respect and expect the same in return? What he and others are doing is very disrespectful to the wives involved. I doubt if you'd want to be the wife of one of his friends, so I'm not sure why you would defend it.

He can put me on ignore if he doesn't care to read what I have to say. As long as he puts that kind of crap out there he is fair game. I don't cheat and I never have, so no, I'm not worried about my butt.

[quote=njqt466;1454547]Thanks, njqt! Well stated!!! My own thoughts: Ms. Teacher's probably another one of those guys that's pretending to be a woman. Regardless, it's really got a judgemental tude!

I am - almost certainly - deeply in a minority but I've never had a one night stand. Am I missing anything?

[quote=Primal_Savage;1454578]
Pretending to be a woman? Do you think your friend's wives would be cool knowing you're having sex with their husbands? I've asked you that a few times, but you don't want to answer.
If NJ can honestly say that she'd be fine if she found out her boyfriend or husband was having sex with a gay or bi man for over 12 years, I'd give her a lot of credit. Sorry to bust your bubble Primal, but most women would not be cool with that at all.

[quote=Ms.Teacher;1454587]I don't think Primal is asking any of us to approve of what he does, nor is it relevant. He and his friends appear to have worked out viable, safe and fun relationships which include sex that does not pull from their primary relationships.

I'd be more concerned if my partner chose NOT to spend time with me, than that he spends his personal time doing what he wants to safely with a friend.

My partner was married when I met him. We started out meeting for 'fun' only. I didn't know he was married, although him and his wife were separated and not living together at the time. I really didn't know anything about his personal life, but I could tell sometimes when he came over that he was a little down about something. As the relationship grew and we became better friends, I asked him what was going on. Out of embarrassment for lying to me, he didn't talk to me for several months. Finally we began speaking again, and he we are today.

I probably wouldn't have continued the relationship had I have known, but I can't say that I regret it. A more conventional start to the relationship would have been nice, but it is what it is. He was married/military in denial about his sexuality, but eventually came to terms. Everyone has their own process and way of dealing with things.

His friends should be honest and tell their wives what's going on. If they're cool with it, then so be it. Primal wants validation for his wrongdoing, that's why he keeps bringing it up, but he can't explain why he doesn't find other guys-- unattached guys--to have sex with. I looked at some of his posts and he's mentioned this sexual situation with his friends numerous time. I'd say, yes, he does want approval or he'd just keep quiet about it. And it's fine to get approval from strangers on the internet, but it's likely he doesn't tell people in his real life what going on with him and his married friends.

His friends are having sex with him when they could be spending time with their wives. Sorry, but I don't think any wife would be happy if she found out that when her husband was going out with Primal, or any other bi or gay "friend", that they were having sex.