| Reasons why jail sucks
-13 hour booking process (pretty much involves moving from one metal bench to another every few hours or so, by the end my ass was so sore i felt like the entire NFL league had plowed me
-straight guys grabbing their penises and playing with them right in front of you. if they were gay it woulda turned me on but since they were straight it just made me uncomfortable trying not to look
-THE SMELL
-THE FOOD and i'm using the term 'food' loosely. more like a milky substance with bread crumbs and a juicebox that wouldn't fill a 3 year-old
-the CRAZY people. everyone on my floor thought they were rappers and i couldn't sleep the first night because one inmate after another would launch into robust, LOUD rap solos. the old guys who mumble incoherently, and the young guys who LOOOOVE bragging about how many houses they've broken into
-the priveleged inmates. not to say people who come from well-to-do families don't have problems, but they certainly have no excuse to be robbing people or committing crimes just for the fun of it
-the RUDE PO's. they assume you've done this before, call your name and get mad when you don't know where to go or what to do. uhh, all you said was my name
-the narcissistic cell-mate who has to tell you why he's incarcerated. the story doesn't start at the actual crime, he tells you everything from age 7 up to when he got arrested. LOVES talking about himself
-THE SMELL, had to mention this one again, my bf' let the window down as soon as he picked me up
-breakfast at 4:15 am
-being released. i was technically released by the judge at 4pm. got all happy and did my "i'm gettin out" dance, didn't get processed and physically released until 10 pm
-strip searches. you'd think a stranger fondling your junk would be fun but, nope, didn't get any pleasure out of it
-guys who tell you they love their kids then say they haven't seen them in half a year. maybe all these dads being locked up is part of why kids are SO FUCKING INSANE nowadays
-homophobia. when a dyke was put in the holding cell next to us, one of my cellmates asked "what we'd do if a faggot was put in our cell" and a 16 year old insisted that the "faggot" would "get his ass whooped" the 16 year old moron was in there for robbery (though he didn't even have the balls to commit the robbery, he just broke the window and ran cuz the guy was home)
-not realizing your blessings until its too late to appreciate them
in a nutshell, small cold rooms, straight, unattainable roughneck hotties, STUPID criminal stories and guys swearing they'll never be back. not to mention cells that smell like piss and windows that throw sunshine in your face, reminding you which side of the bars you're on.
did i cover everything?? | 
