Camp, Effeminate Men Why ?

Why do you care?

Hi.

Are you formerly/still on medication?

This a penis dicussion board.

"Wimmin's Rights" are catered for elsewher on the internet.

You might wanna try allmenarebastards.com or similar.

Who rattled your cage?

Fuck off unless you wanna actually discuss the issue, rather than merely cut and paste a selected sentence and add a brief, purile, respons.

I'm not sure why gay men choose to act this way, either. Gay people always want to be accepted and tolerated into society, but if they keep "trying to piss straight people off," throwing huge colorful parades that shut down the city for hours, and carelessly spreading disease? You're going to stick out like a sore thumb and no one's going to like you. You can't keep playing the victim and forcing yourself to be judged for your sexuality.

Let people judge you for YOU, not for who you have sex with. There's more to life than sex, and the more people understand this, the better.

I was wondering when you'd launch into this. Nice try.

Nonetheless I get the message. Have a nice day.

if they gonna be a sissy be a big sissy.
I love all kinds of people
from big women to big men
from butch to fem it all depends on what i am in the mood for.
not really into twinks but it takes all kinds of people to make this world go around.
for me fem is for friends and butch is for fucking but thats just me

I was a really big sissy when i was younger i have gotten butch as i have matured

I take it that's a yes, then to either/or.

Shouldn't you be wrapped in your Parka, sat outside Guantanamo Bay or some airfield or nuclear power plant or proclaiming your right to abort (murder) the foetus you knowingly got fertilised?

Maybe you should take a lie down in front of daytime TV with a candy bar (or 6) close to hand.

Wow, it seems like Marina and STD have some...tension between them, but I do have to question whether that tension is related to the actual topic of this thread. Its okay to disagree and maybe not like some one else, but do you need to clutter a discussion with derogatory posts towards each other? Just wondering.

Anyway, I think that the reason we find gay men acting effeminate or straight men acting like the stereotypical plaid-and-beer guy is because of the overdominance of 'community.' I think that, initially, when gay rights first started to become a vocal issue, the gay community was a powerful tool that enabled people to come to terms with themselves and find acceptance and support. However, eventually that community has to stop being a 'community.' Why? I think its because that the structure of a community around a certain trait or quality only accentuates that quality. Why should sexuality be that big a deal? Isn't it more disarming to homophobes to just make sexuality a non-issue? I am not saying that we should just push sexual orientation under the rug. I just think that it shouldn't be the dominant element in one's life.

For me, I like guys and girls, and I don't feel the need to broadcast it. I try to define myself through my beliefs, through my thoughts, through my actions - things that people can't really use to just lump me into a larger, anonymous category. The problem that some gay men, straight men, black men, women, Christians - any people that share a perceived common trait or quality - is that the respective community breeds exclusiveness. One is either 'in' or 'out' of the community. And that seperation only fosters the development of stereotypes by those outside the community. And once the stereotype exists, it becomes all to easy for the community to inadvertantly adopt it at some level.

Community can be good. For example, look at us at LPSG. We all share the common trait (well, most of us, anyway [some posters have stated they are average or small]) of having large genitals, yet we are open for anyone that wants to talk with us. For example, women discuss on the boards, even though they definetely do not have large penises (thank god, that would just be awkward). Our commonality just becomes a piece in the overall collage of who we are, and a springboard for developing connections, instead of the sole focus of the group.

I havent even understood why camp guys are so hated. If you don't like someone because of something so basic as they way they act then its my belief that the problem is at your end.

To quote Black Sabbath, we need to "Learn how to love and forget how to hate"

I'm assuming Zayne is a youngn' and still has time to learn and grow. But his "guess" is textbook nonsense from the 1940's-1950's that has been stomped to death and discredited.

I know just as many straight men who you'd swear were screaming, effeminate queens, but lo and behold are actually straight -- REALLY STRAIGHT -- and have no idea they are looked upon as screaming queens.

As for camp: Susan Sontag dealt with that phenomenon years ago in an essay in the early 1970's and before her recent death admitted to being completely wrong. Why some men are effeminate and some women are butch falls under the same category as why some people have red hair and others are brunettes. It's just the way it is.

Still, it's never a good idea to get caught trying to run in high heels; regardless of your sexuality.


Lordy, lordy, lordy,

In short, I hope you grow out of your current biased views and learn to be accepting of decent, kind people regardless if they are screaming queens or double-clutching dykes.

Good luck with that.

Ok, I'll venture a guess here since whatever anyone says is conjecture and personal experience. I have known quite a bit of gay men and have friends that run from camp to very butch. My guess is that some of this comes down to role models and how one relates to society. Many boys don't really get into all of the "boy" stuff (cars, bugs, cowboys and whatnot), and they like stuff that is traditionally "girl" stuff. When they start to understand the differences and sense the conflict with their own gender, they start to see themselves closer to the gender where their interest lies. So if you're a boy who likes unicorns, easy bake ovens and playing "house" you might start to identify a bit with women.

Another possibility are the role models we have. Many young gay guys don't have role models for being gay--not open ones who are celebrated. But for these guys they realize that they are attracted to men and since they don't see masculine role models who are attracted to men, they are left with women who are attracted to men. So some men start to model their behavior on women because it's socially acceptable for women to like men.

I have one group of friends that refer to other gay guys as "she", as in "oh no she (about a guy named Mark) didn't". And another group that has all adopted women's names as nicknames. I personally don't really get it. But again, for many gay men I think they just identify to women who seem to share many of their interests and most straight guys seem like an alien species that many gay men have never really felt like or understand.

And some do it because they figured out that by doing it they can be the center of attention, say what they want and because it lets people know who are they dealing with right away--you never have to worry about coming out cause you were never in.

Just some ideas based on what I've seen, don't take it as gospel. And not meant to offend.

This is an excellent post. I have a close group of gay friends and they range from butch to fem. I can say that I love them all because they're being themselves. One of my closest friends is very feminine. I've known him for years and it used to get on my nerves. We've been friends since college and I've come to accept him for who he is a person. I think that he's just a very "gay" dude. I think that he also has big balls to be himself and don't give a shit what people think about him. He is very campy and by no means a bitch. I also have friends who are very butch and you'd never know that they're gay. I love them as well because they're being themselves. I've also known some very masculine guys who are very butch and can be the biggest queen bitch that you've ever seen. That sometimes takes me be surprise. I just think that gay men should be comfortable with themselves...Campy fems or Malboro butch. I doesn't matter to me as long as you're not fake. It takes great courage to come out and accept yourself. Don't fit into another role that the gay community is telling you that you should accept. As I mentioned...some of those girly boys have bigger balls than some of the so called masculine men will ever have. I just love men too much to really discriminate. I love all my boys!

Good thread. I've wondered that myself. I'm gay, and unless you know I'm gay, no one would be able to guess.

I've got friends that are gay and are effeminate. I also have a friend who is straight and is also effeminate. Does this mean anything?

It will be interesting what others think. I think it's just genetics

Alex - yes, I have 2 friends that are straight and gayer than some gays that I know. They both have said that that about themselves. One of them say that he's more comfortable being himself around his gay friends. His wife even admits that he acts gay. Acting "fem" is as far as he'll go. He's happily married with kids. I guess that's why his woman is comfortable with it.