Question for the "Bisexuals"

I agree, I seem to gravitate towards the bi men, some of them admit it, some have hid it, but i always know somehow, its hard to explain really, Its not black and white like people want to believe, I think you just love who you love for as long as your with them.

That took a lot of courage for you guys to admit that, its much harder for men to admit being molested by other men, i was molested by a female babysitter when I was a child, I hook up with woman when i feel the need, but I dont want anything else from them. I've never felt like i was gay, I love men and would never be romantic with a woman.

Although most people think of themselves as normal, the majority of human beings, worldwide, have mental hang-ups of one kind or another. The chief causes of mental illnesses are religion and sex. The fact is, all humans, male and female, are bisexual to some degree. Even well-adjusted bisexuals are often forced to hide their true identities most of the time because of the attitudes of society.
If anyone wants to gain true happiness and spiritual enlightenment, they have first to realise that ALL religions are bad. The Buddha and even Jesus Christ were anti religion. They were trying to tell people to open their minds.
I don`t have room here to write a book, and I know it`s going to take many more centuries of education before we can all throw off our shackles.
I give thanks to some of my present day heroes such as Richard Dawkins, John Lennon, David Attenborough et al.

its quite...relieving and moving to see you share your stories. I have the had the fortune of not having trauma in my childhood like molestation, for example, and yet your experience still provides comfort. My thing was always being called a faggot and all such other things when I was little. I wasn't even thinking about sex at the time, and yet I was labelled by my peers. That has been the ultimate source of why I don't confide in my friends sexually.

Also, I thought I was strange in that I am also just focused on physicality. For example, I am really bothered by the image of two men kissing, yet the idea of male-male sex is a major turn on. I have only ever sought romance with girls, and out of choice. It strengthens me to see that others have the same sort of attraction that I have. Thank you all for sharing.

Actually, the concept of all humans, male/female being bisexual to some degree is NOT a given fact! Drives me BONKERS when people make up facts! I have a sneaking suspicion that there are many more bisexual people in the world than we really will ever know about due to the stigma of it all, but that doesn't make it a "fact." :)

Now, back to the gentlemen who said he was molested as a youth, and that he was now conditioned to love cock. What he said made some sense & I think that's how it is for some people. But I wasn't molested, I didn't choose to love guys as well as girls, it is just how it is. I'm like Greek Dude, I had tremendous crushes on girls & boys as a youth. Now I've settled into crushes on guys only, because I think it's because that's the one thing I've never EVER had reciprocated. But I've come to a time when I refuse to feel shame or "wrong" about it, it just is what it is but this doesn't mean I'll tell everyone in my life about it. It'd be more mentally healthy if I could.....but it could also be damaging so I don't.

I actually was molested when I was in 3rd grade by a female gym instructor, she kept on rubbing my penis and balls and telling me that one day I would be a big boy.
I never felt like a victim nor do I now, it just happend. I never told anyone but you guys.
Is that why I have no interest in a female relationship? I have no idea, I just know that I do not want a girl friend, but I do want a relationship with a man.
Landon

I was never molested and had very little in the way of religious education when I was a kid. I tend to agree with poster who said these may be the two of the chief causes of mental illness. They both seem to involve a lot of guilt. But I really can't speak from direct experience. It's just an opinion.

As far as attraction to other men goes, I am really not into cock that much. I am attracted to men who are similar physically and mentally/emotionally to me. I have been in love with a few guys and I do check them out almost to the same degree as women. My head is in swivel mode all the time! LOL

For me, the intimacy with a women is different than that with a man. With men there is a feeling of some barriers that never get taken down. There is kind of a steeliness in my male relationships. With women, I go into more of a "mind-meld" mode where there are no secrets and no inhibitions. The male male love gives me more space, which is nice. Also, I would say that men are easier to talk to about personal problems. I think there is a shared perspective that allows us to understand each other and be more non-judgemental. With women I get lost and become totally consumed in the fog of love. Both are great!

I think people like you are genuine congential Bisexuals... ( as opposed to those like me who are conditional bisexuals)

As I have mentioned before... my theory... the only thing I can think of that fits all the reports, is that human beings are born with a hardwired preference in ATTRACTION.

And that preference can vary anywhere from nearly 100% straight to nearly 100% gay.

If you are genuinely 50/50... you are one of those who can as easily bond with a male as with a female.

But I think MOST folks fall in the 90/10 category... one way or the other.

However... that is not the end of the story of sexual development.


I think Men in particular are far more sexually driven by testosterone than women... and that this results in men, even those born nearly 100% straight, being able to have sex with a cantalope, if they are horny enough and no other outlet is pending...

Men, moreso than women, can mentally separate pure sexual activity from emotional attachment.


So- take that fact... that the majority of men who are born wired with an emotional response to women... nevertheless have the innate capacity to separate sex from that attachment...

And then... during a phase of childhood where sexual curiosity is growing... and brain structures developing... that male child gets exposed to some kind of sexual situation. ( or situation that seems sexual by being forbidden, shameful or otherwise conflated with social norms regarding sex)


It could be seeing Aunt Mildred's garter belt... ( or seeing garters in a catalog) it could be an inappropriate touch... of jerking off with other boys... seeing farm animals do it... watching a girl pee...

it could be getting sexually molested by a man or a woman...

Whatever it is... this affects the way the child's brain get's wired for SEXUAL response... but not necessarily emotional response... which is hardwired at birth.

How can some Gay men live closeted and married for so many years?
Perhaps because their early experience centered around heterosexual imagery and opportunities...
Which enables them to RESPOND physically with a woman, even though it may not be emotionally satisfying.

I suspect that this is how all of us get our own peculiar mix of sexual quirks.


I suspect that all sexual fetishes can be traced to some early formative experience that simply soldered a connection between that image, that idea, and your groin.

Every guy I know who's into watersports has SOME story, when they were really young, involving pee.



The mistake we make is to think that any of it is unusual, or wrong.

Like a photograph... its simply a reaction to what we were exposed to.

PS-- and, of course, the more significant or persistent or traumatic the event, the stronger a connection gets formed.

Getting touched once when you weren't even thinking about sex might have no noticable effect on you at all.

But seeing your aunt's garter belt while you were over her knee getting spanked, with your crotch rubbing on her thighs... that might make a more lasting impression.


Those who are serially molested, over long periods of time... would have the strongest effect... and the more harsh and violent the molestation, the more excruciating the effect.


To have sexual sensations correlated with horrific pain and fear and anger at a very early age could make adult sex nearly impossible. Traumatic and agonizing.

Exactly the way I am!

I'm really interested in learning something here.

If you consider yourself truly bisexual with experience, as opposed to a teenager weighing options, would you explain the difference of what you feel in a relationship (sexual, dating, long-term, whatever) with a man as opposed to a woman. Are there different emotional stimuli, triggers, and bonding experiences?

If I had my way I'd be with a hot girl and have a harem of hott muscular hung blond studs in my basement to play with. What's wrong with having desires for both sexes. I've always had these desires going back as far as 9 years old. If it's as natural for you as breathing as it is for me, then what's the problem with not letting your feeling have a voice. Even if it is being with one sex and fantasising about the other while masturbating. I almost got married to a girl I deeply loved when I was 16. I was committed to being with her and yet thought about same sex desires too. Anyone of any orientation can be monogamus. It takes commitment and will to do so, not being sure of yourself is not a reason to be with someone. If you truly love them the desire to not stray takes care of itself.

I am. It's almost nonexistent in men. Most end up going fag eventually, even though they may LIKE women A LOT.

Bette, you simply could not be more wrong.


Only 10% or so of the male population shows any decided preference for males only.
Of the 90% that identify as straight... more than half have had occasional homosexual contact with men.

The remainder may have no bisexual tendency at all... or may simply have not had any opportunity in which to have a homosexual contact.
( or, given the stigma, may be lying about homosexual contacts they did have)
A look at history and other, less sexually hysteric cultures shows that men having sex with men was common, and actually thought of as pretty normal.
Further, a look at the sexual behavior of our nearest relative- apes, indicates that males without access to females engage in homosexual contact, and that in the closest related species, most males will engage in homosexual play with other males even in the presence of females.
These males still generally prefer females when available.

Therefore... all the available data suggest that the vast majority of human men are CAPABLE of bisexual activity, with the number increasing with the scarcity of access to females.


Sorry... you are simply wrong. Most men prefer women. Most of those men would be willing to have sex with a man if they had no access to women.
And a lot of those female preferring men are willing to have sexual contact with men under the right circumstances.

wow this is a really interesting thread....Ive learned a lot. I'm especially kind of surprised by how many of you guys were molested as kids....and you feel that experience hard-wired you to be bi ---- or at least, to respond to men sexually, tho not emotionally. I'm not at all disbelieving you -- especially since more than one of you has the same basic story -- but I just want to know: how can you be so sure that your early molestation by adult men is responsible for your interest in guys' cocks?