anal sex, safe?

Of course, that's a personal decision for you. There are innumerable couples who are monogamous and free of stds and who have engaged in anal sex without condoms and have never experienced a bacterial prostatitis or a uti. Again, I highly recommend the book because it provided a plethora of information on this subject and it helps to dispel or manage many myths or misconceptions. It may be possible for the scenario you described to occur, it has never happened to myself and none of my friends have shared that it's happened to them or inhibited their behavior in their committed monogamous relationships with their partners. Your experience may be different though.

It's believed that between 80 and 100% of gay men around the world have intestinal parasitic infections. In separate studies, the parasites gay men carry -- E. dispar (formerly E. histolytica), other so-called "nonpathological" amebae and Giardia -- have been shown to be specifically associated with a suppression of cell mediated immunity, elevation of IgM, depressed CD4:CD8 ratios, and increased risk for seroconversion to - and seropositivity for - HIV.


Anal sex and analingus has been clinically proven to be the most common cause of giardia infections. This is why it's important to have anal sex AFTER a shower, and with protection. Practitioners of alternative medicine also recommend a parasite cleanse.

As a side note: Thrusting - even with lube - causes the breaking of tiny blood vessels in the vagina or anus. Even when tiny, these can become infected and lead to hemorrhoids, infections or even prolapse. This again reinforces the necessity for HYGIENE and DISCRETION.

I'm not going to spend too much time on this. Considering that not 80-100% of gay men engage in unprotected anal sex or rimming, I can't even imagine where you got those figures from. So if you're gay, you're infected with something? Um, ok. You have your beliefs fine; I have my experiences and my beliefs. There is a lot of hysteria when it comes to anal sex and much of that is homophobic even in some gay people. If you want to have safe and pleasurable anal sex, arm yourself with expert knowledge, the book I suggested is a great place to start.

Some people here might let this slide by without comment but it's this kind of attitude that really pisses me the fuck off.

Would you also suggest that a straight married couple who don't have an STD between them use condoms for the rest of their lives as well?

If you don't also suggest straight people in a monogomous relationship do the same then you're obviously implying that gay men are a bunch of lying whores.

Either that or you work for a condom making factory.

I've been with my boyfriend for going on eight years and we don't use any condoms and have never had any kind of STD scare. But then, when I call him my boyfriend, I mean that we live together and we're monogomous and there's earned trust. I don't call someone my boyfriend if I just met them five minutes ago at some bar although I know plenty of guys who do.

As someone else said, you just have to be careful (i.e. not fuck like a maniac) and you'll greatly reduce any bleeding or other problems that might be associated with anal sex.

But to suggest (although it was more like you were demanding) that all gay men should use condoms during sex for the rest of their lives even in a truly monogomous relationship is on the hysterical side.

Almost as hysterical as the OP in fact who seems to think fucking an ass is any filthier than fucking a bloody yeasty vagina.

Yes. STDs, infections and shit on your dick knows no gender or orientation, so don't get your pants in a bunch over nothing.




Yeah, that would help.

I'm not "hysterical" just because i've researched the subject of viruses, bacteria, parasites and the risk of being infected with them. I've had A LOT of people - mostly gay men - cuss me out and tell me that i'm offending them because I insist on using a condom. Just because you don't want to use a condom doesn't mean that I don't, and i've had to turn down a lot of sexual offers simply because they "couldn't get hard in a condom," and they took it out on me. I've talked to A LOT of men and women who said that they had a friend that died of AIDS, and i've also known people that have died, or are currently infected with it. I simply don't want to catch something that's known as horrible and incurable.

I'm willing to bet that if anyone here found out that they were HIV+, that they would go into a severe depression and freak out about it, am I right? Every sexually active person has had at least one instance where they felt that they could have been infected with it, and this is why STD testing is so popular.

you don't get out much, do you?

I didn't take issue with you saying people should use condoms. It's common sense if you're not monogomous or you don't know them that well (although that begs the question about why you'd want to sleep with them if there was no trust).

What I did take issue with was your implication that people should use condoms for the rest of their lives even in a monogomous relationship. That's hysterical.

Where do you hang out and who are you meeting? I've had lots of sex around the world and have never ever had anyone say something negative to me about wearing a condom when fucking. You wear them to protect yourself and others, I don't even see it as an option, you do it. However, if you're in a committed, monogamous relationship where trust and respect for each other's lives has been established and you've been tested, you can make rational choices about not using condoms anymore. Otherwise, if guys don't wear condoms I presume they are either HIV poz or want to be. So having anal sex can be done quite safely. There is no need to exaggerate the risks for unprotected anal sex among monogamous committed couples.

I agree with Big Swinging Dick and Hyperhulk. Obviously if you're not monogamous or if you're in a new relationship then condoms are pretty essential. But if you're in a committed monogamous relationship and have both been tested then it may be perfectly reasonable to decide not to use condoms.

I've been like that for the past three years or so with my boyfriend. I wouldn't be with him if I didn't trust him and part of that trust involves unprotected sex. Some people may have relationships in which they are not as confident, which is fair enough. But I really don't think the risks are nearly as bad as has been made out in a monogamous relationship, especially of the parasitic infections that have been mentioned. I've never suffered any ill health from unprotected anal sex with my boyfriend and neither has he, nor have any of my friends (gay or straight) in a similar situation.

Wash yourself, wipe yourself, have fun.

Here's a true story from a hetero relationship.

My lady and I shower - A lot.

We shower before, after and even during sex.

We were having sex one night and she was in the mood for anal. I never ask for anal from her it has to be up to her. I enjoy it, but if it were never offered again I wouldn't cry about it (but I do enjoy it when she wants it, cuz it's obviously getting her off and it is "naughty").

We were both in quite acrobatic mode - switching from sucking to fucking to foot-jobs to wanking to tit-fucking to all-sorts. In other words, it weren't a normal lie back and think of England fuck.

We showered between bouts, but not between all bouts, of penetration (guess we got carried away a little).

Next day, she felt ill but went to work.

Next day, she felt worse, but still went to work.

Next day she was sent home from work and I left my work to pick her up.

Next day she was feverish and I took her to the doctor. He took a blood test and we went home.

A couple of hours later he phoned me and asked if I was OK to drive.

I said I was and he said that was good cuz she had to get to the hospital fast and an ambulance travelling out and back would waste time.

Within an hour, she was in hospital and under more drips than a melting glacier.

Her kidneys were on the point of shut-down and even an hour or two later could have spelled her death.

Message to the girls:

Always wipe front-to-back.

There are some nasty bugs in there.

Bollox to all this plastic-porn-film ass to mouth nonsense.

A terrible story that happened to ONE person.

Not exactly the norm though is it which is what you've been implying all along.