The question of if being gay is a choice

Ok, just a question that i had. I know that some (not all) religious people believe that being gay or lesbian is a choice. I am wondering if anyone here is or knows someone who is not religious but also believes that homosexuality is a choice.

Personally I dont think its a choice. I didnt choose to be gay, i simply am. But i am curious as to other perceptions.

FYI i was prompted to this by the following link
Homosexuality: Is It A Choice?

i don't think the desires are a choice, but acting on them is

I've always thought that if homosexuality is a choice, so is heterosexuality. And to CHOOSE to do something implies that you are not naturally (or automatically) whatever it is that you claim to be. So if someone "chooses" to be gay, another way to look at it is that they no longer wish to be straight. So therefore -are all straight people not actually straight, are they just CHOOSING to be?

Its like choosing to be african american, I believe. YOu aint got a say in the matter.

i think this is a matter of interpretation because there seems to be differing views on defining homosexuality. i'm old school, if u look at your homeboy and think about anything other than playing basketball, you're gay. i think another perspective that mainstream and especially religion tries to imply is that gay as a choice means to act on your desires, which can be considered a choice. if that's the case, you can have homosexual desires and not be gay if you don't choose to act on those desires

Meerca, there are quite a few on LPSG, actually, who (aggressively) assert that it's a choice, and claim their views are not influenced by religion. They cite example after example, mostly anecdotal, and their reasoning is often self-contradictory. They also tend to use behavior as non-negotiable proof of orientation (thanks, marleyisa), and argue whichever one (behavior or attraction) they think makes any point they have stated.

I have had relationships with women in the past (behavior), mostly in an attempt to choose to be straight; it didn't work. I am still gay (orientation).

I did not choose to be gay; I simply am, and always have been.

But again, this is confusing the orientation with the behavior. That logic breaks down if you think about it rationally. By those standards, a straight man is asexual in between fucks, right? If he fucks a woman at 8:00 in the morning, then again at 2:00 in the afternoon, if he's not fucking in between those times, he's asexual? The behavior does not necessarily define the orientation.

like i said, i'm old school, if you get horny thinkin about dudes, you're gay. i was just trying to see it from their perspective although you REALLY broke it down. i guess in the case you're talking about they'd simply call it bisexuality, there really isn't a definition for your sexuality when you're not engaging, it's a general term for lifestyle, not defining every waking moment

Well, it depends. Is liking the colour blue a choice? Sort of, I mean, you can condition yourself a certain way, just by thinking you like the colour blue. If I look at a lot of pictures of Sienna Miller, and think about all the attractive things I like about her face, I get almost smitten, for a short while, and it does have a lasting effect. And then if I think about certain things as unattractive, then I get a bit of a bitter taste. But is the underlying nature a choice? Can be, if you have high will power, know your personal psychology well/are very self aware, and are intelligent enough, yeah, you can take control. It's like the man from a few years back that stopped his heart from doing yoga. Yeah, you can take control, and ultimately affect how you perceive everything, but for the average joe, no. Now do we wanna make this extra cliche and ask if it's environmental or genetic?

no, but wearing a blue t-shirt is. do you understand what i'm saying?? i agree with you a hundred percent, i'm trying to explain/understand the other side. from a christian perspective and i'm only speculating, you can have all the desires you want about men but being gay isn't defined by that so much as by pursuing the lifestyle. i guess some religious fanatics view gay as more of a lifestyle than a sexuality because how many catholics have you heard refer to their predatory priests as gay?? none that i can think of, because i think their point of view about "gay" is that it's a choice in the sense of choosing to go to gay clubs, choosing to sleep with men, choosing to act on something you can't control is still a choice

Yeah, marley, you and I are in complete agreement. It's what goes on between your ears that defines your orientation. Straight men just simply do not spend lots of time thinking about having sex with men.

That's what is so dangerous about buying into the "orientation is a choice" reasoning, or the "the choice is to act on it or not" reasoning. And don't get me wrong here, but I'm going to take you to task for the use of "lifestyle" in your post.

Generally speaking, one's choice of behaviors does not determine one's orientation, but rather, one's orientation will influence one's choice of behaviors.

Another way of looking at it is, I love chocolate. I didn't choose to, but I do. I can choose either to eat chocolate or not to eat chocolate, but neither of those choices affects whether or not I love chocolate. I wish I could choose otherwise, but I cannot choose to dislike chocolate.

i'm with you 100%, looking from the other side i imagine that they condemn us not because we desire men, but because we choose to engage in behavior that caters to those desires, just a guess

Well I can safely say that you're fairly right, among the reasonable Christians who believe that sodomy is wrong, that is along the lines of what their logic is. There's also a bit more to it than that, at least for some, and it has to do with the beginning of Genesis, and the belief in marriage. A man is complete when he finds his wife, and all that, the belief that it takes a man and a woman to join souls, and create a child out of that marriage. But yeah, that still ties into the idea of you're actions defining you, not what you "are" to begin with.

I think both sides of the arguement are theories and can't be proved or disproved, much like religion.

It's as much a choice as your eye color was.

Contact lenses disprove your point.