Intercourse orgasms

Thanks Ms Teacher. I'm accepting that it's not entirely up to me for someone to orgasm. I'll always be patient, and I wouldn't get frustrated in front of her. I just want to make sure I'm doing everything I can, I mean I'll bend over backwards to give a lady an orgasm somehow. And it's not problem orally with her, I guess, I just wish my partner was vaginally or G-spot orgasmic b/c she's really the only person I've been with...Could it be her age too? She's only 21, and I'm 22. I heard women in general can develope later than men as far as being in tuned with themselves and their sexuality. I'm hoping that's it, and that I will giver an orgasm through intercourse some day soon. Modesty aside, I last long, I pump hard and slow depending on what she wants, and I'm endowed...I admit, that part of my frustration is feeling a bit inadequate for this...but like I said I'm going to stay patient and who knows how many more partners I'll have in my life, maybe none (in which case I hope she becomes vaginally orgasmic badly), anywho, thanks for the feedback guys.

You're very welcome 007baby.
Hugs,
Dragonfly.

Couldn't have said it better myself. However, once you locate the "spot" another way to describe the motion of your finger while rubbing this area is to use the "come here" motion with your finger. Also, gently rub the clit with your other finger....this gives the mrs. mind blowing orgasms when I finish before her.

I don't want to say you are doing anything wrong, in fact from what I have read you are putting in a very honest effort to make sure your girlfriend is satisfied. However with that said experimentation and verbal communication can go a long way to solve this issue.

I have never met a girl that I wasn't able to get to orgasm through intercourse even when they said previously that they never have and "couldn't" orgasm during sex. I think the majority of the "only 30% of women can orgasm vaginaly" is contrived to help male self esteem. Just like saying a guy with a small dick can satisfy a woman just as good as a guy with a big fat cock because only 3 inches is needed.

With so many techniques you can try its hard to suggest just one; however the best technique is VERBAL! Change up angles and ask her how it feels, try to keep a constant rhythm (very important) when you hear her starting to get more vocal don’t slow down! Women function different then men do; I have often found that women are very conscious about the changes in rhythm and at times self control is what can bring them over the edge if you can keep a constant pace.

A few women respond to putting pressure on their pubic area, try to time it with your strokes when she’s on her back and ask if she likes it. I find it best to lean myself back to increase the friction while doing more of an upward thrust. I could list 100 different things to try but as I have stated, verbal is the best technique in your arsenal. If you can get your girlfriend to achieve an orgasm through oral clitoral stimulation then honestly NOTHING is stopping you from getting her to orgasm clitoraly during penetration. You already know she can orgasm through clitoral stimulation; now you just have to find a technique that stimulates it during sex as much as through oral.

Also your girlfriend might have some psychological issues as well, not saying she does but maybe shes more self consious during sex then when shes laying on her back just recieving. Your problem isn't as strange as others I have heard about, some women can orgasm clitoraly through intercourse but not through oral.

Good Luck,

Dregun

How old is she, 007baby? I have found that as I age I am far more orgasmic, and my orgasms don't even feel like the ones I used to have. I could not possibly have these orgasms 13 years ago when I became active, or even 16 years ago when I started masturbating to climax. I think they are going to keep getting better. Heck, I couldn't climax during intercourse until 2000, maybe 2001! I couldn't have a g-spot orgasm until 2002! And in the passt few years I've started to ooze so much during sex that I sometimes have to be wiped down in order to maintain an appropriate level of friction. Age and experimentation are definitely factors.

My husband couldnt possibly be a better lover and in 10 years it hasnt happened. No psychological hang ups. It's about where the nerves are located and how sensitive they are. Everyone is different. All the techniques described in this thread have been tried many times in our bedroom. No orgasm. I'm not alone in this.

And whats wrong with a little stimulation on an area that is made on the outside of our genitals to reach orgasm? Why do we place such an emphasis on getting it to respond by indirect stimulation? Makes no sense to me. I think if we were meant to orgasm that way the clitoris would be inside of our vagina getting direct stimulation from thrusting alone.

Not all women can or will do it. I'm ok with that. Some guys wack off by rubbing down low on their shaft and are able to orgasm without stimulating their head, most don't do that because its frustrating or doesnt work. Same concept for us women.

Put a vibrator in her ass while your pounding her -

Sorry I might be confused, are you saying you can climax through oral stimulation of the clitoris but not clitorally climax during penetration? If so doesn't that seem a little "odd" considering it can be stimulated by both oral and penetration but you cannot climax through penetration?

I'm not saying your husband is a bad lover or that something is wrong with you; however I'm very curious on how this could be considering without a mental or physical differences the cause and affect should be the same.

Again I'm just curious and am in no way shape or form trying to ridicule or belittle anything you have said. It doesn't matter what I believe as it is your experience and nothing I say or do can change that.


Dregun

Hey I can count on one hand the amount of times I have gotten off from head. Feels great but never pushes me over the edge.

I can jerk myself off within a minute if I concentrate, but even if I think it feels the same when a woman does it to me I never get off.

Only vagina and oddly enough titty fucking with a well endowed woman do it.

I imagine it's somewhat similar for a woman who can only get off one way...

I would rate this as a psychological problem and not a physical problem IF IT WAS A PROBLEM. This whole time I have been just questioning the idea that only certain stimulation can get people off; I realize many emotional and mental attributes contribute to this and as I said its not a problem. However I think for anyone to say they can get off one way but not the other even though the same stimulation is present shows that its not a physical issue.

Lets flip this issue on its ear and say a particular women can only get off when she's rubbing her clit clockwise while holding a carrot. If she rubbs her clit counter clockwise while holding a cucumber she cant orgasm. Everybody assumes its because shes going counter clockwise but what about the cucumber? Many sexual problems are psychological, thats why men can have nocturnal emmisions with no direct stimulation and some people can have an orgasm through tantric practices.

Now the big question is; who is more satisfied with sex? The individual who can come with ANY stimulation or the one that requires specific stimulation <-- I actually believe its specific but hey..thats just me.


Dregun

A lot of it is also the fit (between the cock and the woman) and how the guy fucks her. Not every girl who CAN cum from intercourse will cum with every guy.
A big cock with good stamina helps, but isn't the instant cure. My best friend is a lot smaller than me but he has made two of my previous gfs have multiple orgasms from intercourse and I never was able to, but then again I had sex with one of his gfs (we've shared since we were 16 haha) and made her cum by going deep against her cervix and grinding my pelvic bone on her clit (as described above) and gave her an orgasm he never had.
We all fit differently.

You hit the nail right on the head! It is absolutely about how young you both are! When I was her age, I could climax during intercourse but only in the missionary position with my legs so close together that my partner was sometime forced up and out. Obviously, I needed his pelvis to grind against my mons & clit. As I approached thirty, I had enough confidence to teach my lover to get me off manually first, with my legs mostly closed. After that, missionary-style intercourse with legs mostly closed would produce the rest of my orgasms. At thirty, after I'd had my baby, I was finally able to enjoy doggy-style without any pain or fear of pain. This is when I discovered my G-spot...

Suffice it to say, now that I am nearing 45, I can say that over the last ten years, I've climaxed maybe ten times from oral, about a dozen with me on top, and one precious time doing doggy. The most important thing I've learned since I began having sex at 15, is if I want to be able to climax in more than just one way, I have to relax and just enjoy the ride, orgasmic or not. I can do this because I trust my partner to give me at least four orgasms manually afterwards if I don't happen to catch any during sex. With the "performance pressure" off of me, I can relax and enjoy all the different sensations that often result in finding new methods of orgasm.

So many girls at her age are still "pre-orgasmic" and not able to climax with a partner at all (or have not yet had their first orgasm), that you should really be celebrating each one of hers that she has by whatever means. She will continue to develop at her own pace for at least 25 more years.

Either that or starting hitting up the MILF crowd...

ITA with Mushroom Maniac...

When I was in my early 20's I had much more random orgasms, actually did not come from oral sex and only once in awhile on top. (This waS partially psychological partially lack of experience I believe.) Now (early 30's now) I almost always come during sex when I'm on top, often from oral sex (although not always) I would love to come in other positions...sometimes it seems I am close but it hasn't happened. One thing I don't like though...is if I don't come sometimes, let it go. It's ok and it's not a personal statement against my man. I hate pressure to come..like MM said, I'd rather relax and enjoy it and if I get an orgasm, great, if not that's Ok...if I want to try more, I will let you know!

Point being, some of it may be age, experience and personal feelings on the matter. You're really doing well being patient!

obviously this is another example of a man trying to tell me how my body works. Let me suggest you look at Grey's Anatomy or any other diagram of the clitoris, there is a very thin hood that often has to be pulled back to give direct stimulation to the actual clitoral glans to reach orgasm. Simply tapping this area doesnt quite do it for most women. It takes an intense focus and consistent rhythm and pressure. Women also don't have the "point of inevitability" that men have when they get close to orgasm and they can stop stroking and continue onto an orgasm and ejaculation. Women can have their orgasm stop before or during a peak if distracted.

I know a lot about masturbation and i can give myself dozens of clitoral orgasms on my own. My husband can give me oral or manually stimulate me to orgasm. Thrusting alone will not do it. The back side of the clitoris has a wall of tissue and muscle much further from the bundle of nerves if you try to stimulate it from the vagina. While the g-spot feels good and speeds up my ability to have a clitoral orgasm when stimulated at the same time, its been impossible to ever feel enough pleasure from the gspot alone. Why does this sound impossible to you? The glans clitoris is just like the head of your penis- how many men can cum without touching the head of their penis? Not many i know would prefer to have the base of their penis stroked.

I've seen thousands of porn and in nearly every mainstream porn video no matter how fast, hard or the angle of the cock in them- they don't have an authentic orgasm.

Your analysis of it being purely psychological is ridiculous because most women i know cant do it either. My mom agrees that sex feels good and she can orgasm apart from sex but has never in her life had an orgasm from sex. I masturbated a lot as a teenager and never had it happen even when trying. You are taking out the physical nerve bundles that play a huge role in orgasming.

I have a hood that is very tight and nearly adhered, just the thickness of the hood alone prevents me from feeling much so i have to retract it as much as possible. Nerves and receptors from the clitoris, up the spine and to the brain can be varied in their responses from woman to woman.

I dont know how most women who have had a lot of sex still have the same story i have and yet you are trying to categorize us as being deficient or have some psychological problem. I'm very content with my ability to orgasm. While most are multi orgasmic, im super multiorgasmic and i wouldnt trade that for the world.

A simple understanding of anatomy and physiology would more than explain how you can NOT feel enough stimulation through the wall of the vagina to reach clitoral orgasm from penetration. Like i said before, nature didnt put our clitoris glans inside our vagina, so why should we expect it to work like it is? Stroking your balls feels nice but it alone isnt going to make you orgasm either.

I dont like the attitude that women who cant orgasm from the inside have something wrong with them- i think the ones who can are obviously wired differently from the norm.

I know a lot of guys who cant cum through oral or handjobs but can through sex, vice versa. It's not just psychological. It's about pressure, rhythm and consistency. Hands get tired, mouths and hands get out of sync and mess up the build up to orgasm. This isnt rocket science.

Too hard, too deep or too angled penetration just plain hurts my bladder. Some of the suggestive techniques might work for your women but it isnt the magic key. How can someone get to orgasm if its irritating or hurting them? Obviously the nerves and sensations vary from person to person or people wouldnt be seeking out sex information and therapists to help them.

I've given a lot of oral sex and hand jobs and even the simplicity of men cant be summed up to one technique that works. Some guys cum from prostate stimulation, others cant even enjoy the anal stimulation. A guy who obviously enjoys this kind of stimulation can't say that the guy who doesnt is dysfunctional in his sexual abilities. Maybe his prostate isnt that sensitive or maybe its tender to touch.

Sorry this is so long but i know a lot about Obstetrics & Gynecology and i can tell you that there are plain and simple anatomical reasons why some women cant do this, they just cant. Anyone on here who knows me knows that i have awesome sex and foreplay. I'm not some woman who is paired with a guy who hasnt tried everything. He is not bothered one bit by me not cumming during sex. He knows that i'm thoroughly enjoying the experience so why mess with it if its not broken?

Also, i have been able to orgasm a handful of times during sex by using my vibrator on my clit. Honestly its so difficult to concentrate on the thrusting and the clitoris at the same time because he's so girthy. There is brain concentration needed to built up to the orgasm and when im feeling my vaginal walls get stretched to the max, its very difficult to feel the sensations on my clit enough to get to orgasm, even though it does feel good just not enough to push me over the edge.

If this doesnt explain thoroughly the reasons why I, and many other women cant do it and that its not that we simply choose not to let loose and relax enough to let it happen. There is no way you could please a partner of this variety if you can't accept these things.

I'm orgasmic and thats all that matters to us, how i orgasm doesnt matter as long as i get to regularly.