Son Looking. How should I handle it?

Sure many of us father's here I'm sure has encountered this...I have with understanding.
One good thing about this situation is that you are open & willing to discuss sex (the birds & the bees) with him as a young male adolescent... a very important stage of development (teen years) for males.There are some things that mother's just can't give in this area and that's male bonding and trust...be it with father, brother, grandpa, uncle, or just merely a good male partner/true friend.
I'm sure you want him to have the most correct, factual info & caring experience possible at this age(no matter what sexual orientation questons he may have).
And let's face it, coming from you as a concerned father would do it 80-90% better and caring than a computer or TV shows & films and even some sexual info books of nature.
However, having a few good factual books on male sexuality & female sexuality is a good starter or ice-breaker(s) on his reading level.
He may just happen to see a book or two on your dresser, nite-stand or even coffee-table you have purposely left in view
Trust me he'll will see them and pick them up to read with a questioning
interest. Wouldn't hurt to have a Playboy Mag or two in your bedroom too in view
Ok...if your son will be with you for the summer with his now rapid growth changes now...continue to be open and remember use tact and a man to man approach (well father to son I mean). By all means spend quality time in conversations breakfast & dinner.... no radio, no TV no, computer... allowed during this time ...just YOU & HIM.
Sitting on the fishing banks or our farm pond was the best times for me bonding with my boys and a few times even with my daughters too.

Sons love to hear stories from their father's experiences of the past... esp that relates to them at the same age...then you cleverly turn the table with well how about you son!
Keep it to a degree light hearted at first... before approaching & opening to the serious unless he leads it that way.

Having sons of my own...trust I've heard many things come out of their mouth that only a male would say or ask but sometimes
which I should say here...IF You Don't Know The Correct Answer to Give to Him...Don't Be Ashame to tell Him ...Son I really don't know..but let's learn about this together...let's research and discuss it!
Don't Lie or make up some info on hear-say for his FYI...if he learns something different or in conflict...he will lose his confidence in what you tell him...BE AS HONEST AS YOU POSSIBLE CAN AS A MAN THING.
Of course mine are fairly grown with kids of their own...my youngest boy will be 24 in this June '08...he's been the toughest.. still at home with me basically but good most like me...in every way...peter size and all...with same medical issues too
I remember one Sunday we got together here at my home to watch some sports on TV...my youngest came bouncing down the stairs with just his boxers...with much of his peter hangin & swingin down out from his boxers... we basically paid no attention...until my older boy (38) there said,
Damn Junebug cover up yo big ass dick in those draws...you and pops hung like horses around here...yall is just plain ruint and we all laughed but
I was speakless for a mintue...then said...ok we're all men here...leave yo brother along.
My youngest said yea you just jealous!
My older boy replied You Damn Right I am..pops you gip me out of a big peter...but I'm cool with what I got.
Then I said You Damn Right son...You a Man aint You! Just keep giving me grandkids

So you see it's all in an approach & tact...cause later on that evening when my other sons left...Junebug and me were cleaning up the mess we had all made...when he out of the blue said...pops we don't have to be ashame of the size of peters do we we aint really ruint are we caught me off guard again
I said of course not son why....which lead to a whole other somewhat seriously self-esteem probably I didn't realize he was having with women.
We've worked thru it and still doing so from time to time without reservations & with open communications between just us and trust.

So Big Daddy...Handle it as it comes, like a man (father to son bonding)
Good lucky
Oh by the way male a very visual... (more so than females) get the picture; and we also learn more from what we see esp the young.
He's most likely a fine lad...just guide him into manhood in a fatherly way.


Be Safe & Enjoy....
"Let not the young be misled, for common sense is not so common, if not said"
Whopper-lee

Consider your relationship now. You are at the gym and you are both showering together. He is comfortable around you. That is absolutely wonderful. Don't mention the staring at all, not ever, unless it is to the point that other guys are noticing it and making public comments about it.

Sounds like he is not done with puberty. Continue being open. Share a few jokes about penis size or other sexual jokes appropriate to his age that you know that aren't about you or him in any way.

During the summer, I would have a talk with him. First compliment him. Tell him you've noticed he is moving through puberty at a good rate and you haven't noticed any problems. Ask him if he has any questions or issues concerning puberty that he needs to discuss.

At 14 if he is indeed far along in puberty, birth control and safe sex practices need to be addressed. (Some here may not know this, but usually it takes a year from the first full ejaculate for sperm to be present in the semen.)


And whatever you do, don't change how you have always taken showers or talked to him. If he begins to be more modest then you might consider being more modest your self;

I can't claim to be an expert either, but seems his looking is just normal natural curiosity about size in general, and size of a grown up. Just relax and enjoy your summer and once you are spending more time together maybe he'll open up if there's something on his mind..

Well I think it all depends on how large you are, Starboy. If you're hung like everyone else here, then I think it's hard for anyone to keep their eyes off it :) .

Its natural. As young men we try to find a "perfect" specimen of a man in every way. So we tend to start with our fathers because we see them as great beings and so we want to see every part of them and try to be like them in every way. I wouldent think to much of it unless it gets to the point wear he is doing it in front of other guys and they start commenting on it or he wants to "try" things with you. I know when I was 14 (18 now) I had started puberty at about 11 or 12 and my dad and I have a very open loving relationship and we talked about everything. I remember at 14 I saw my dad changing in his room and had to ask him about his penis size and the such. He told me everything he thought I needed to know at that age and told me if I wanted to know more he would help me. I never needed to ask more because he told me everything i wanted to know. I would say just shrug it off or bring it up very softly. Maybe next time you are showering at the gym or some place like that and you see him looking on the drive home bring it up like " I couldent help but notice in the shower that you are moving in puberty pretty good. Do you have any questions about the male body or anything?" If he looks at you like your nasty because you looked just tell him its natural to look and compare.

I agree with most of the comments.This being on the border line of possibly going negative,I'll keep it positive.I lost my father when I was a toddler.Now I have 2 boys of my own.Although I've never been in you situation,I think I understand his way of thinking, from watching and listening to my boys.Teenage boys want to be physically the same or better than their father and friends.I see and hear my boys saying I hope I'm as tall as Dad or I hope I have a beard like Dads.As I've watched my friends children, go from high school to the adult world,their comparisons change.They go from wanting to be better physically to being better professionally.My son already wants to be a car builder like I was in my early years.I think he'll come around as he grows.He may be looking at you as a role model also.

This issue sounds fairly harmless; just regular adolescent curiosity. I think that as a concerned parent you can be aware, but not overly cautious. Just keep your eyes and ears open.

If the subject comes up, keep the discussion brief and use it as a "teachable moment".

The best way you can support your son is by modeling a positive attitude about body image and sex. You could share with him some of the doubts you experienced at his age. Probably the best bonding moment I had with my dad as during a long-distant car trip when I was 14. We openly talked about his first girlfriend. Even though I already knew i was gay, i could really appreciate what he was telling me. Also, I thought it was so cool when he pulled to the side of the road so we could take a piss together. That was TOTALLY out of character for my dad. I loved it!

I don't think there's anything unusual about it, and nothing to be worried about.

I remember I was very interested in comparing myself with other guys. I had an older cousin and we'd go swimming together and I remember being fascinated at how big his dick was compared with mine when we got changed. Later at school it was the same in the showers after football.

Obviously it could be uncomfortable for you, but I don't think you should say anything to him as that will just make him uncomfortable too and might make him think there is something wrong.

there are many issues here. THE first one is this 'friendship' between father and son. although I consider normal an open relationship between you two, it's not very normal to shower with your son at age 8 cause it is the beginning of his sexuality, and it can sexualize the relation father|son. ANYWAY it seems you have that kind of relation that wont lead to an 'edipus' [in this case an ELECTRA] complex with the son in love with his father.
probably he was just interested in seeing some cock. apart from the rude way of saying it, he PROBABLY wants to see how he father looks, and compare his own with you.

JUST one question, and maybe it's because I'm very old fashion [even being a gay man], but how can a father be 'openly' 70% gay|30% straight and maintain the 'typical' father|son relationship?
MAYBE due to the fact [and I'm not judging just speculating] of your apparently 'open' sexuality, your own son can have some doubts about himself and questions about his body and sexual orientation.
TELL us how it goes. and my advice to you would be JUST to talk to him, cause dialog is ALWAYS the best answer!

CHEER and good luck!

Don't sweat it. I don't think it means anything. All young guys look. It's just part of growing up.

agreed.

Its sounds like you are a good and sensetive Dad. It might be a classical son-2-father penis jealousy. I think you should ignore it and it will past by time.

An educated guess, it's curiosity, he probably wonders what he may be meant to look like.
also does he know your gay? it has been seen amongst humans that they may act a certain way to see a response. But you remember how this time was, you wonder if your too small or too big or whatever and you need a guideline if you will. ignore it, it will roll over.

I agree with all that has been said....

YOu mention he is 'big'- then its normal for him to wonder about others...and to wonder if Dad is 'big' also or.... A lot going on in your brain (and balls) at that age... I like what you have done so far- leave the door open to communication- whatever you do, do not 'freak out'. I htink yoiu have handled this admirably- and asked for 'support' as well.

Lke Pecker said, keep being his father, mentor, and friend.

enjoy the summer- thats a great age to get to know the man he is becoming!

This sounds like one of those fantasy threads again.

But anyway, tell him STOP. Explain to him what it is, he's got one too, tell him they're normal and tell him to STOP staring. The end.