"The End" before the beginning?

I met a girl I really like, I don't know how far to go with her!

Ok, I should brief my question/predicament with a quick introduction since many people here do not know me. I'm a 21 year old guy, kinda shy, quiet, curious about life. I love music and biking, both mountain and BMX. I'm a new student in a new college with no real friends. Being shy in the past, I've never really made many first moves with girls, and with the exception of a few rather unsuccessful dates with more dominant first-move-type girls, I haven't been in a real long term relationship. Yes I'm a virgin. Enough about me. Here's my problem.

I met a girl at my new school, rather, she met me online. I don't think I could have just walked up and said hi. We went out one night and had a lot of fun, and got kind of close that night. A few nights later we go out for dinner, on the way back she reminds me she's moving after summer, I'm not sure what to really think.

After dinner things get flat out hot in her car. After an intense session of making out, feeling each other up, and then fingering her to orgasm, I got my very first blowjob. Things got a bit odd after that wonderful night. This girl who originally seemed like someone just looking to have some fun now seemed very distraught, and echoed my fears of getting attached to each other. Don't ask how the impossible happened, no one has ever fallen for me before in this sense!

Now I'm stuck and don't know what to do. She leaves for the other side of the state this summer. I like her very much, and we do things together I've never done with any other girl. I know I'm already addicted, and it will only get worse the more we get together. I worry what she will go through. I don't want her to suffer any, and this makes me want to painfully end it, for her own good. What do I do or say?

I am just like you man, and I can see where you are coming from. I hope somehow this works out for the both of you.

I've been out of school for a few years and I just started going back this semester. No friends anymore, the ones I had are gone. There is this girl in my class that I really like, but I can't bring myself to talk to her. We have had brief conversation, but that's it. I feel like dying every day I see her and don't talk, because the semester is winding down and I don't have much time left. I feel sick at my stomach sometimes. I can talk to any girl I am not interested in, but not this girl. I know this girl is on myspace, and I just joined myself. I am hoping I can somehow talk to her sometime about it and get her to be one of my friends so I can keep contact. Sadly, I am different online, I am pretty confident I can get to know her better this way.

Sorry to talk about myself, at least you've gotten farther than I have. What you are going through sounds like it was pulled right out of a movie, unfortunately things always work out in movies. If you bring up feelings, she will either be happy, or upset that you are making her feel something and nothing can be done about it because of moving away. But it sounds like she is already upset about it because she has feelings too. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say if you think she has feelings, and you do to, get it out in the open. At least you won't be killing yourself when she's gone and you did nothing about it.

Tricky indeed, I hope the best for you and her.

It's good that you're coming out of your shell!

She's giving you a clue that she wants to hang out with you more.

She may not be that experienced in how to interact with someone emotionally that she's doing physical things with. She may feel comfortable with you (obviously) and as she's leaving, she's worried she may not find another person to do that with as easily.


To me, on this very limited surface reading, I don't sense a big "love" feeling as much as sexual experimentation/awakening. You both seem sort of emotional about the situation and you mentioned multiple negative words: "distraught," "worried,", "get worse", and "suffer," and "addicted," - so I would let it go. But let her know that it's mostly due to the distance and separation and unfortunate timing - but that you valued the experience you shared with her, learned alot, had fun, and respected her and wish her the very best.

stop overthinking things and let what happens happen. more sex, less thought. you're at an age where you can wildly throw caution to the wind and have fun. do that. when you're 40 and married with 2 kids and a mortgage payment, you'll be glad you did.

I don't think you should worry too much about her feelings or what will happen. I don't mean to be cold, but you don't want to be overly concerned. That is what I do but I try not to. Whatever happens, like if you break up at the end of the summer, she will get over it. I say go for it.

Thank you all for your advice. Snoozan, I wish I could be someone to throw caution to the wind and just go for it but around girls that has never been my personality. Especially for the first time, I know there will be strong lingering feelings afterwards that we can do nothing about. I always sort of figured the first time should be in a nice little relationship, not a fling or one night stand or anything that would set me up on a negative sex life.

I talked to her some about this, but her answer is confusing. She says she just wants to have fun and possibly even just as friends for the time we have left together, but every time I see her things go way past "just friends". I'm just confused, not only about her but what I want myself. Part of me of course wants to see how much fun we can have, besides, she's the kind of girl who's into threesomes but "hasn't found the right guy yet". lol..

It sounds like she may mean friends as in fuck buddies, or failing that she want's to just be friends, but can't keep her hands off you. As Snoozan says, don't knock it. In later years you'll probably be glad you had the experience. It also sounds like you're getting more attached than she is. As for her moving to the other end of the state, that's not always the end of a relationship. Plenty of people have made an ltr work, me for one. My other half and I spent three years living 600 miles apart. The sex was incredible. When you only each other on occasional weekends, you make every second count.

Sometimes you have to throw caution to the wind and live in the moment. At times my mind and heart have been in conflict, but there are moments that are meant to be enjoyed....this may turn into more later on down the road. IMHO, it is better to enjoy it than to regret it. Do what you are comfortable with and you will be happy!

[quote=cutedorkwho;1391621]I met a girl I really like, I don't know how far to go with her!*SNIP*

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Don't ask how the impossible happened, no one has ever fallen for me before in this sense![/

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Dude this is a no brainer. Have sex with her! Make love to her, experiment, be passionate, let yourself go and if the opportunity for a 3some arises do that too. Just use condoms.

Janis Joplin - The Rose lyrics


Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless, aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, it's only seed

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dyin'
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong

Just remember, in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lie the seed, that with the sun's love
In the spring, becomes the rose

Cutedorkwho, you are so afraid of hurting her or yourself you aren't living! That is no life. Life and love sometimes hurt.

You gotta have the rain to have the rainbow ~ Dolly Parton.

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Originally Posted by rico27 Sometimes you have to throw caution to the wind and live in the moment. At times my mind and heart have been in conflict, but there are moments that are meant to be enjoyed....this may turn into more later on down the road. IMHO, it is better to enjoy it than to regret it. Do what you are comfortable with and you will be happy!

Wise words from one barely out of nappies.

I almost wonder if having sex with her and experiencing that break up period might help you on your way to different relationships. Sure heartbreak might ensue but you're young and can bounce back.

Across the State of Florida is not that big a deal. There are very many states that are much wider than Florida.

Enjoy the moment. Once the Summer break comes enjoy each other if you are still an item. Do not worry about the distance. Again, Florida is not that wide.

Enjoy life and look forward to the future. Life is much fun, if you just let it go by and take each step in stride.

Wish You Well!!!

hardcock I could give u a few ideas.. to get to her.. :) even online though..

I just need fucking time to talk to her more, I only have this class two days a week, and on the second day I have lab and we sit by each other. So one day a week to actually talk about anything.

She did smile at me a couple times today in class, no big deal though.