Being hung with a mental illness

I will say that (I think) I have abandonment issues also...although it is slightly complex and I don't know if that's a correct 'diagnosis'.

I have a problem whereby I have sex with girls and I enjoy it but I don't have an emotional attachment. I actually said to my gf last night that 'it is basically just sex.' Which I think it is...I mean I don't talk to her - or anyone - and she doesn't know anything about me so what's there to get attached to besides the sex? Anyway, she "whooped" on me when I said that (lol).

I suppose related to that is my social ineptness; saying the wrong thing/not knowing what to say. I also realised that having not spoken (intimately) with anyone for a very long time, I struggle to find words when speaking. I really don't say much though.

I think really it all boils down to me not feeling...like I really exist. Which sounds strange but there are parts of my identity that are missing, or false and so I don't feel like a whole person. I feel like I'm only half a person and when I'm in a relationship, my partner is only getting 'half' a relationship: the physical side.

I don't have any problems with trust but then I think I avoid getting attached/to the stage of 'trusting/not trusting' for that reason...I think everyone will lie to me? Or I think they'll leave me? I don't know.

So I may be "hung" but its not all cakes and pies.

P,YOu have had some pretty ugly experiences so there is little wonder that you may have been affected by them.

My experiences have left me with a lot of personal holes and voids in my life. I'm just trying to figure those out and fill them if I can. Everything I do for the next 10 years or so is part of the healing process. Even sex is part of the healing process.

smooth88, do you take your medication, and does it work for you??? side effects??? limp noodle from meds??? I briefly worked with a guy who would not take his meds because he could not get it up. he was diagnosed as bipolar with an addiction to alcohol and cocaine, and a sex addict. he was really messed up. eventually was fired, his cocaine abuse brought on the bipolar condition his mom said. she wasn't much help and did not know what to do. she enabled him at one time, but stopped that, and he threatened her several times. AND he owned several hand guns.

my neighbor is bipolar with OCD, and she is okay at times. But she stops taking her meds because she spends the money on other stuff. her husband is gone 90% of the time cuz of his job and when he is home, they both drink quite a bit, and she is wacked out for days after he is gone. she called the police on us, and we had a fence put up at the suggestion of the police. we also went down to the police station, and found that bipolar folks get a lot of the police's attention, and one Lt, had a whole file drawer full of bp folks. He said his primary job is keeping tabs on the folks in the drawer. I hope things get better for you. And I know this is insensitive, but a lot of the random violence, shootings, are caused by bipolar people. I personally live in some fear of my neighbor. I tip toe around her because I don't want to piss her off, and she has a gun. she held the police at bay for 4 hours about 10 yrs ago in a nearby town, was going to committ suicide, and then wanted the police to shoot her. I have talked to other bp people and they say they take their meds and have absolutely no problems and I would not have guessed they were bp unless they told me. I'm leaving a lot of details out about my experience with bp folks, because of the lack of time and space.

Great cock. Sorry to hear that you're bipolar.

I do most of the time. And I've tried. about 4-5 combinations of medication and none of them really work. And the one I'm on now shows has sexual side effects (hard time getting it up, and being anorgasmic). I don't like taking it because it is an antidepressant and antidepressants tend to make me manic. Of course there are other meds that I haven't tried so maybe one day I'll find one that works.

I think that issue has been addressed in a few other threads. Many 100% gay men don't want to be involved with a man who will leave them for a woman. 100% straight women definetely don't want to put their heart on the line for a man that could just as easily leave them for the next hot guy that walks by. [/color][/font][/color][/size][/font]

IMHO, there are a few bi-guys who have no clue how to be monogamous and have thus ruined it for bi-guys who can. [/quote]

Well, my wife and I are bisexual--been married a while... I did notice a lot of hostility in my area about dating men while I was married (wife didn't mind), but dropped a lot of that because the situation invited as lot of mental games and attempts at abuse. Maybe the ends of the spectrum annoy one another.

I personally feel there's a ton of misunderstanding between you and your potential partners. Patience and understanding is key.

Nah, the whole bar scene where I am at is the wrong venue. There are better places.

Yea. Bars are not for everyone. I personally couldn't see myself there.

Stick with it and make them earn your trust. You should trust your own feelings. You deserve it and you will find someone who is willing to go the extra mile if they are worth it. Good luck

Haven't I heard somewhere that the brain is really the main "sex organ?"

Being mentally sane then, having a great and caring and moral and intelligent personality, would seem to be far more relevant to relationships and sex, than actual physical "endowments." Although obviously being more "endowed," seems to help some.

Being some "circus freak," in being "unusually endowed," probably isn't going to help form lasting relationships, all that much.

While some people may think it's their little head that decides when to have sex, obviously that isn't the case. It's their brain that decides to initiate sex and to sire or procreate children. Even many erection disfunctions, may have some component lying with the attitude or the brain? Maybe a mental block, or some disturbing memory of past child abuse or something? But sex is no longer "dirty," if properly procreative in a proper committed marriage relationship, but life-giving and natural, hopefully "overflowing" into more children coming to life.