Gay feelings as a kid

I remember vividly at age 7 or 8. At recess all the guys were running around trying to chase this girl who had a skirt on. They kept trying to flip the skirt up. I had no interest but I didnt know why.

i asked my mom the same question at about the same age. that's so cool.

One boy got on top of me while I was sleeping at Boy Scout camp when I was 10. I woke up and he hurried back to his side of the tent, acting as if I didn't notice. I didn't say anything to him, I was just confused. I didn't even know gay people existed when I was 10 (I grew up in the deep south, fyi).

I've never really felt any sexual feelings for guys, but of course I've had my share of curiosities (like wondering what a penis tastes like.. lol).

not for boys, I felt this strange attraction to full grown men's members

and I always enjoyed being picked up by my father when he'd arrive home from work, and feel his five o'clock shadow gouging my face

highlight of each week were the weekends, when my father's favorite drinking buddy, his cousin would show up, pick me up with his huge tattooed, popeye forearms, and I feel his beard tearing into my flesh, smelled his cologne, and looked into his laughing green eyes ... to this day, the type that gets my attention is his: tall, green-eyed, dark haired, and muscular

I worried as a young boy and teenager that I might be gay because I felt a strong desire to be around other guys. I grew up having an absentee father and an older brother that went off the deep end and left home once my parents split up. I therefore grew up with my mom and my sister and completely lacked male influences in my life. I was a real loner as a kid and teenager. I didn't seem to get along with my male peers. My mom used to say that I was 15 going on 40 and she was right (I was very mature mentally for my age). I always found other guys my age to be idiots. When I got older and went to university I became more sociable and began to get along better with my peers as they had matured mentally like I did at an earlier age. I tended to gravitate towards activities that involved mostly guys such as athletics, fraternities, etc. This was about the time I started using gyms and communal showers for the first time (I didn't start to work out until I was 20 -very late in life). After being around so many guys in the gym and in my fraternity I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was NOT gay. After seeing a ton of naked guys in both environments I realized that I was actually repulsed by the thought of having sexual relations with them. I've had guys try to pick me up and I declined because the thought was horrifying to me. Also, I started to date a lot of girls in university and realized that I preferred women. I was getting a lot of attention from the ladies in university because I developed a pretty amazing body from getting involved in athletics and girls were really attracted to fraternity guys. Every time I put on my greek letters, girls would start hitting on me. It was quite a rush. I went from never having girls pay attention to me in my teenage years because I was overweight, to having women literally throwing themselves at me (I had girls tell me how they wanted to "take me home and f**k me" or reach down my pants to grab my dick or grab my ass). I got a lot of action those 4 years in university with lots of women. Why all the confusion in the first place? I now realize that it was because I was longing for a strong male influence and relationship in my life because of my family situation. At a younger age I confused that with a desire for men. Since I had no strong male role models in my life, other men were a mystery to me. I didn't hang with the guys when I was younger, so I had never seen another naked guy before. To me it was mysterious. I had seen plenty of naked women in porno mags, but never guys (they never showed guys back in those days). I now realize that the desire to see other men naked was more out of comparison and a desire to have a strong male bonding moment. Once I experienced it I realized that I was not gay. Anyone else have a similar experience?

BTW - my mother used to say to me that she was amazed I didn't turn out gay (probably because of my environment growing up). For awhile, my dad and brother thought I was gay because I didn't date much as a teenager and never had a steady girlfriend. What they didn't know was that I had actually dated a couple of girls that things fizzled quickly with, and had a few girls break my heart. Why didn't they know this? Simple, they were never around! I am very happily married today to a wonderful woman.

I always liked guys better fooled around with some girls
even had a few girl friends.
the first time I came with a girl I was 29 and she was a friend.
I am now 40 and still prefer guys.
but I am attracted to people not just sexual parts

one of my favorite songs is by Romanovsky & Phillips called boys will be boys.
is is from a album called i thought you'd be taller.
the whole album is great.

"I can remember being sprawled under the coffee table in the family room with my coloring book drawing stick figures.

One picture I drew was of guys peeing on each other.

I can remember trying to get my older brother's best friend to draw a picture of a guy...he drew a stick figure, and I tried to encourage him to extend the torso line below the leg junction.

Wow.

He quickly caught on to what I was trying to make him draw , and laughed and quit (probably mumbling "ya little freak" under his breathe).

Yeah, all of my older sisters' and older brother's friends thought I was the little runt. I drew my share of stick figures.




Around the same time, I was best friends with my older brothers girlfriend's little brother. We were the same age. He taught me what the word "dick" meant. I was around 8. That was the first non-family related dick I saw. From then on I had a series of infatuations and crushes on boys in my class and neighborhood all the way through college. Of course, they were all one sided and never reciprocated (under the best of terms), and ended some deep friendships (under the worst of terms). I wanted to like girls like all the other guys, but it just never happened.

I have had the same kind of dilemma. I remember all of my middle school male associates had girlfriends. They kissed them at their lockers. I used to wonder what was wrong with me. Why I didn't feel the same for these girls. I found out in high school the reason why. Actually back in middle school (after thinking about it and the sex ed classes), I remembered I did have those feelings but only towards certain guys (unreciprocated) and I just didn't know that I just wasn't into girls at all. I really didn't understand until I got to high school. But I didn't have sex with a guy until college. By the time I graduated from college, I had slept with about three guys. I never slept with any women, though.

You learn pretty quickly at that age what is acceptable and what is not. The best I could do was to repress my true feelings deep inside and not let myself feel anything for anyone.

I learned that that kind of thinking would prevent me from evolving. I express how I felt to a fault but I learned in doing that that I could give other's permission to express to me their opinions and thoughts and that I could accept or reject too. The road to happiness is definately different for many.

I remember as a kid - say 7 or 8 being physicaly attracted to guys - but had no idea why. I used to hold all my friend's hands in elementary school - regardless of sex. Mostly the boys I would INSIST on though. It wasn't until I was 16 - and I read a sci-fi fantasy trillogy where the main chatacter was gay - and in the final book he dies - and it's HIS lover grieving that I realized what I had just read. I sat and re-read the entire trillogy three times - and my only reaction was - "That explains a lot."

I then ended up dating girls until I was 22 - when my father died. I had tried to come out to him when I was 16/17 - and he refused to accept it - and told me in no uncertain terms to be straight or leave. Since I Was 16 - with no job - where could I go?

When I came out though - it was no big suprise to the family - and they all accept me and my partner.

I will say this though - I AM attracted to women - but no where near as much as men. And I say MEN not boys.

just thought of this surfing XM,

as a young boy, had a family member who was forever playing 60's music

the stuff that always resonated with me were the 60's girl bands singing about their love for their boyfriends, and what they loved about them ...

never mentioned this to anyone, of course

Actually it is not a "normal stage" for a boy to go thru....However, most boys do not have attractions to girls until after middle school. The rest of the horomones calm down once a boy hits senior high...

I was pretty taken with my older cousin when I was a kid. Since I didn't have a brother, I would have done anything he wanted me to do, and so sometimes I let him play with my dick since I was bigger than him. Good memories.

I was mucking about with boys when I was about 5... just seemed natural to me.