Foreskin Envy

Alright, it might sound stupid, but it's the truth. I envy people with foreskin.

I was circumcised at birth, not for religious purposes, not for aesthetics, just because my parents were misinformed.

I was alright with being circumcised for the longest time. Hell, I'd even advocated for it. Up until a few months ago. Then I did some research.

Makes me feel pretty shitty knowing that I'm missing out.

I've researched, asked questions, posted on forums, but I've never been able to find an answer. At some point, one of my friends found out and gave me a ton of shit for it. I can't help it, I just want to get over it.

The next few months were pretty bad, I couldn't get the concept out of my head. It was manageable though, I was just sensitive about the topic.

I finally brought the topic up with my Mother one night. She explained that she was doing what "the doctor says was best." And I understand that. She was misinformed, she didn't know, she just wanted to keep me safe. I told her about how I was upset about it. She doesn't keep secrets well.

Word got out that I wanted my foreskin back. She treated my secret like it was no big deal. They laughed at me. Made me feel even shittier.

Well, I tried to convince my sister to not have her newly born son circumcised. That ended with her and her husband yelling at me, telling me that uncircumcised penises are "uncivilized and unnecessary." They didn't even listen to what I had to say. Had it done anyways.

Now they all make fun of me and give me shit for wanting it back. I just feel like... I don't even know, I just hate feeling this way.

Like I said, I've posted the same question several places. I get a ton of stupid responses like "who wants that anyways," "women like cut better," "you'll get more oral if you're cut," and the ever popular "get a boyfriend who's uncut, I'm sure he'll let you play with it all you want." I'm sick of getting those. I'm gay, I've got a boyfriend who's uncut. I don't care about his, or about how great it is to have one, I just want to get over losing mine. It makes me so upset.

I should also mention that I'm not interested in restoration. I wouldn't be able to lie to myself like that.

I just want to get over it. Any help is appreciated.

That is very interesting. I'm sorry you feel that way. I was not circumcised and for the longest time (every now and then even) I wanted to be circumcised to "fit in". I'm not sure what to tell you except that it is a psychological problem that probably has deeper roots...

I hope you can get over this. I guess I am on the same boat with the insecurity I have with my penis size. It is average, which I am okay with until I'm put in a situation where I have to compete with a bigger one. I know what you're feeling when you wish that certain part of your body was different.

Oh and honestly, I don't think you are missing much. I think you overesimate what it's like to have a foreskin. I masturbate a lot and do other things that have made my cock head "dry" (like a circumcised one) and foreskin loose enough to where I just seem circumcised anyway. I don't have the moistness and sensitivity that I had when I was younger. It's like my penis is exactly like yours except it kinda has some skin covering the head, only when limp. I hope you understand what I mean by his...there REALLY isn't much of a difference.

Hi,

My Dad was un-cut, huge: thick and long...I always wanted to be just like him and have all that skin to pull back and forth.

At university, I always thought the uncut looked a lot bigger...but, when I'd get a chance to see them and play with them they were frequently less large than myself so I would imagine myself uncut and that I'd then be bigger than anyone!

That's the romanticisation.

Reality: they have discovered that the hiv virus lives under the foreskin: the quickest way to cut aids down is mass circumcisions world-wide.

Though I wish I looked huge and in-tack like my wonderful Dad: I have to admit I have a very large cock that also looks very beautiful in a "modern" way: circumcised.

When you find the answer please Pm me.

Wow! You are so uninformed and brainwashed by the USA's profit driven Medical Industry! You are frightening!

Yes, foreskins are "uncivili[s]ed and "unnecessary". Until this happens:

`Totally unexpected' death of baby probed, circumcision botched, The Province, newspaper article

Now which is unnecessary - something you were born with or something you were born with being painfully and forcibly removed, scarring you for life? Or your child dying from a needless procedure. Hmm.

As for the OP: Don't listen to the naysayers. Women like cock. Circumcised or uncircumcised. Although in America there is a preference for circumcised and a stupid misguided perception of the natural penis as being dirty, nasty or 'unclean'.

Maybe you could seek some sort of counseling or therapy to help you talk through/deal with the issues. Although you would be doing the world a service if you kept your sons "uncut".

Believe me, cut is far better. I KNOW as I had mine done at age 41. Never once regretted it. The best thing I ever did. I had wanted to be cut for years. The extra skin just gets in the way and I had to wash it 3/4 times during the day. Just ask yourself, would you like to try sucking on a smelly foreskin? Us humans always want what we havn`t got.

Macketeer, what gets me is how insensitive your family seem to be about how you feel. I don't agree with routine infant circumcision. OK, if there's a genuine medical reason for it, that's a different story, but to clip a healthy foreskin off a child for no reason is assault, even it's meant to be "for his own good". I'm sure that's what the proponents of female cirucmcision say too, but they're condemned for carrying out a barbaric practice. I know there's a difference between male and female circumcision, but the principle is the same. It's genital mutilation. If someone wants to get cut as an adult, that's different again. It's his own choice.

As for how you deal with it, I'm not sure if I can be of any help. Once it's gone, it's gone. I think all you can do is try to appreciate your dick for what it is. It may not look exactly as you'd want it to, but it works, it can still give you pleasure. Yes, you're missing a bit of skin and some nerve endings. I don't know how much of a difference that makes to sensitivity because I don't know what it's like to be cut. You only have to read through some of the threads on here to find that very few guys are actually completely satisfied with their dick for one reason or another. Some want to be bigger, others smaller, thicker, longer, straighter... The list is endless. Some guys love their foreskins, some hate them. For others, they're just a piece of skin that doesn't do much for them. I know I keep going on about being comfortable in your own skin (recurring comment in most of my posts), but I really think that's the only way any of us can be truly happy with our bodies. There are some things that you can change and some that you can't. Don't be a victim. Changes were made to your body without your consent, but don't let that ruin all of your life. I know it's easy for me to say "Make the best of your situation," because I don't know what you're going through, but I can't think of any other solution.

Prefer the circumcised look, as do most females I'd discussed it with.

As I'm "complete", I'm fortunate in that I have the benefit of increased sensitivity when the glans has been covered and kept moist, but I can also pull the skin behind the glans ( where it stays whether erect or flaccid), I know that not all guys can do this.

So when I know I'm gonna be biffing some babe or other, I do that during my morning shower.

I know that circumcised guys lose sensitivity (no bad thing in itself, cuz it helps delay ejaculation) as when I keep the glans exposed for over a day or two, this happens. I once did it for over a month ant the glans became as tough as a horse-chestnut. LOL.

Overall, I prefer to have the option of a foreskin for that small percentage of my partners who have preferred it, over the years.

Dude, that sucks. I'm mostly sorry that your family is being so insensitive about it and that they don't seem to realize what you have, which is that circumcision is one of those irrational personal choice things. Like tattoos or brandings. It's not a surgery, it's body modification; people come up with all kinds of reasons why it's better, but as soon as they get studied rationally they fall apart.

So you're left with what? You're left with a dick that works and a boyfriend, and a family that's sometimes really irrational. Things could be a whole lot worse, dude. Foreskin, though wonderful, is not necessary for enormous sexual pleasure. There are some things that I can do to my boyfriend, who does not have one, that I could never ever do to me. Of course, the reverse is also true.

My personal opinion is that, when confronted with things we cannot change, we can either fight them - futilely - and end up angry at the universe, or regain some power by choosing how to deal with reality. I would suggest that, when you're done being (understandably - I'd sue if someone stole my foreskin) angry, do something constructive with all that energy. Make someone's life better. Make art. Make love with your boyfriend.

And dude, don't be so down on restoration. You're pissed off now and I'm sure it seems like a silver medal; but that being said, it works for a lot of guys, and some of them are on this site.

And dude, this thread will probably turn into a flamewar about what kind of dick is better. (That's just the trend around here.) Unless you want to get more angry, I suggest you stop reading when that starts :-)

I think that at age 13, a boy should be given the option if he wants to be circumsized or not. i wish that i was un-cut, but my parents didn't give care. i was circumsized as an infant, and i would prefer to be the way i was born.

The way you're portraying this issue, it's as if you've convinced yourself that your opinion is the only correct one. What your sister does with her baby isn't your responsiblity, so she and her husband had no obligation to listen to you let alone bend to your wishes. You're not very accepting of other people's opinions and wishes, based on what you wrote here

Your mother did what she was told was best for you. Calling her decision "misinformed" is unfair, as your opinion of circumcision isn't the last word in the matter.

Perhaps try to accept things as they are. Assuming there's something you can do to "get over it" may not be the best path. Start thinking about things you actually have some control over, instead of obsessing over water that's gone under the bridge years ago. Once you can accept that your mother made a decision based on valid medical advice, and that you have a healthy body, perhaps you can begin to accept yourself as you are. I hope you find your way.

People cut at birth and who use the internet generally get a neat glorified image of a perfect foreskin. They are also told they have been mutilated and made to feel bad about their penis. This is terrible.

This is NOT the whole story. They have not lived with a foreksin, and known about the inconveniences of a foreskin. They don't know if they would have had a very long ugly foreksin, and average one, a short one, or one which generated infections/phimosis etc.

There is no denying that they were not given the option to choose. And that is a big issue. However, they need not need to feel bad about their circumcised penis. They could be curious about the uncircumcised version, but need not be envious of it or feeling terrible because their skin doesn't roll over to cover the glans.

Remember that some uncircumcised males grow out of their foreskin during puberty and end up naturally circumcised with their heads always exposed.

And more importantly, the fact that many/most males who get circumcised as adults are very happy with the improvements it brings means that circumcision is not all bad as the anti-circers say.

Just because the choice of circumcision should be left to the owner of the body doesn't mean circumcision is bad.